When You Have Everything to Lose
by 1220McCormick
Summary: It makes it that much harder to win. Especially when you're up against Eric Cartman. Crenny.
1. In The Closet

This is the first slash fic I've ever written, so I'd really appreciate some feedback (good or bad). I'm planning on seven chapters overall, and I've got the whole thing planned out, so hopefully I'll be updating in a timely manner. Anyways, hope you enjoy!

I don't own South Park.

* * *

**When You Have Everything to Lose**

**Chapter 1: In the Closet**

"Craig, you dog."

"Huh?"

It was not the sort of greeting one expected when sitting down to eat in the cafeteria.

"Craig, are you gonna eat that?" was more common, or perhaps, "Craig, you have something nasty caught in your braces." But, "Craig, you dog," was the way Clyde chose to greet Craig as he took a seat beside him in the cafeteria and "Huh?" was the only response Craig could come up with.

"You guys," Clyde said, addressing the others at the table. "Our friend Craig here has himself a girlfriend."

Staring blankly at his friend, Craig bit into his apple. "I do?"

"Don't you?" Clyde asked.

"Um. No."

"Then where the hell did _this_ come from?" Clyde asked, tugging down at Craig's collar.

"Dude," Craig said, shoving Clyde away and flipping him the bird. "What the hell?"

"Holy shit, Dude!" Token cried, pointing to the spot on Craig's neck that Clyde had just revealed. "You have a hickey!"

"I wha—" Craig slapped his hand over his neck as things finally seemed to click in his head. "Fuck, it's still there?"

"Christ, he's spazzing out!" Tweek cried, twitching nervously.

"Aren't these things supposed to go away after a few days?" Craig asked, rubbing his neck. "God, the fucker must've sucked the bejesus out of my freakin neck."

"Who?" Clyde asked impatiently.

"Huh?" Craig said again.

"Jesus, Craig, get with the program. Who sucked the bejesus out of your freakin neck?"

"Um," Craig replied awkwardly. "I don't remember?"

"How can you not remember?" Clyde cried, grabbing Craig by the shoulders and shaking him. "Were you drunk? Asleep? Was it vampires, Craig?"

"Vampires?" Tweek cried. "Oh geez!"

"Um," Craig said, swallowing nervously. "I was…asleep? No, the first one. I was drunk."

"For God sake, Craig," Clyde muttered, obviously disappointed. "You're a fucking idiot."

Craig rubbed his temples. "I'm fucking an idiot, alright."

"What?" his friends all cried at once.

"Oh, shit," Craig muttered. "What did I just say?"

* * *

Kenny McCormick bit into a carrot stick as he watched Cartman suck the cream filling out of yet another Twinkie.

"You know why you're such a fatass, Cartman?" Kyle said, taking a bite of his sandwich. "Because instead of eating healthy foods like the rest of us, you're giving BJs to baked goods."

Stan snickered, and Cartman threw a hollowed-out Twinkie at Kyle. "Shut your goddamn Jew mouth!" he shouted. "Everyone knows the cream filling is the best part."

Stan and Kyle busted up laughing. When he'd finally caught his breath, Stan looked up at Kenny. "Dude, why aren't you laughing?"

"Why would I laugh at that?" Kenny asked, unamused.

"Well…because," Stan replied. "Because he was sucking the cream filling out of Twinkies. It's funny."

"In fourth grade it was funny," Kenny replied, biting into his carrot stick.

Kyle frowned. "Dude, you've changed recently," he told him. "I don't think I like you anymore."

Kenny shrugged, going back to his lunch. It was true. He had changed recently. He couldn't tell his friends why. Things were just different. He looked around, scanning the cafeteria until his eyes fell on Craig Tucker, who, not to Kenny's surprise, was staring back at him. Kenny gave him a small wave.

Craig did not wave back. Instead, he glared at Kenny and pointed to his own neck. Kenny frowned, trying to figure out what the ebony-haired boy was trying to tell him. Craig just continued to point at his neck feverishly.

Kenny looked back to his friends at his own table. Cartman was sucking the cream out of another Twinkie. Kenny took a bite out of another carrot stick and looked back at Craig, who was rubbing his neck angrily. Then it all clicked.

Craig was pissed about the hickey.

Kenny laughed out loud and began choking on his carrot.

"Kenny, what the hell?" Kyle cried, slapping his friend hard on the back. A chunk of carrot came dislodged from Kenny's throat and flew out of his mouth, landing on Cartman's lunch tray.

"Gross!" Cartman cried, shoving his tray away. "Kenny, you poor piece of shit."

"What is so funny?" Kyle asked.

"Um." Kenny looked at Craig, then back at his friends. "It was…the Twinkie thing. Yeah, I just got it."

"God, Kenny," Stan muttered. "What's the matter with you? You're the perverted one. You're supposed to be the first to get it."

Kenny merely rolled his eyes and looked back at Craig, who was still glaring at him. He shrugged and mouthed an apology. Craig flipped him off. Kenny just flashed him a winning smile, then turned back to his friends.

"Hey Stan," he said. "Can I copy your English assignment?"

Stan rolled his eyes and slid his notebook across the table to Kenny. "Give that back before class, or I'm dead."

"Sure dude, whatever," Kenny replied, tearing a sheet from the notebook. "Gimme your pen."

"You guys," Cartman said, as Kenny began to copy Stan's English assignment. "You going to Annie's party tonight? Her older brother is bringing beer."

"Sure, I'm in," Stan replied.

Kyle shrugged. "I guess."

"What about you, Kenny?" Cartman asked.

Kenny didn't look up from Stan's English homework. "Naw, I've got plans."

"Plans? What kind of plans?"

"None of your goddamn business. Stan, is this a 'k' or an 'h'?"

Stan leaned over the table to inspect the paper. "It's an 'h' dude. Why would I have the word 'suck' right there?"

"Anyways, Cartman," Kenny said, continuing to copy Stan's paper. "Isn't Annie's brother a registered sex offender?"

"Yeah, but he didn't rape that girl. Annie says that her brother says it was consensual."

"Yeah, but wasn't she drunk?" Kenny asked. "And, like, twelve?"

"Fuck you, Kenny."

"Hey guys."

The four of them looked up to see the girl who had approached their table. A dark-haired girl from Kenny's history class. Kayla or Claudia or something.

"Hey," the guys chorused.

She sat down beside Kenny and scooted close to him, so their thighs were pressed together. "How's it going?

Kenny set the pen down. "G-good," he stammered.

He looked up at Craig, who was watching him intently, his gray eyes piercing into Kenny's blue ones like knives.

"You know what's weird," said Kayla or Claudia or something. "I have never hung out with you guys before. Isn't that weird, Kenny?"

Kenny shrugged. "I guess so."

She picked up one of Kenny's carrot sticks and held it to his mouth. He bit into it, glancing up to see if Craig was still watching. He was.

"So we should hang out," the girl said, placing a hand on Kenny's thigh, causing him to let out an involuntary gasp. "What are you doing tonight?"

Kenny took a deep breath and closed his eyes, reaching down to slide her hand off of his leg. "I have plans."

The girl frowned. "Oh." She stood up to leave. "I guess I'll just go then."

The four guys watched her walk away.

"The fuck, Kenny?" Cartman muttered. "I can't believe you just did that."

"Neither can I," Kenny mumbled, returning to Stan's English assignment.

"Dude," Stan said. "Those must be some plans."

Kenny shook his head. "You have no idea."

* * *

After stuffing his orange parka into his locker and slamming the door shut, Kenny scanned the hallway for Stan. English class started in five minutes, and he was still clutching Stan's yellow notebook. As he looked around, he spotted Kyle down the hall talking to their friend Jimmy. He started to walk towards them. Kyle might know where Stan was. But before he reached them, Kenny was yanked out of the hallway by some mysterious force through a nearby door.

"Dude, what the hell?" he cried, once inside the dark, cramped room, which, based on the smell of bleach and vomit, could only be the janitor's closet.

"Shh!" hissed the dark silhouette before him.

"Craig?" Kenny whispered, fumbling around for a light switch.

Craig grabbed his hand and held it tight. "No lights, Kenny. I don't want anyone knowing we're in here."

Kenny grinned. With his free hand, he reached up and pulled off the blue hat he knew was on Craig's head. He let it fall to the floor somewhere as he combed his fingers through the taller boy's hair.

"I thought we agreed not to meet during school."

"This," Craig replied, pulling Kenny's hand out of his hair, "is not why we're here."

"Oh yeah?" Kenny said. "Then tell me, why did you pull me into the closet? To be ironic?"

"That's not—" Craig was cut off momentarily by the sound of the bell ringing. "That's not funny, dude."

Uh-oh. Kenny recognized this tone of voice.

"Okay, you're pissed at me about something. Is it the hickey? Because you weren't complaining when I gave it to you."

"Who was that girl?" Craig asked.

"What girl?"

"The girl you were flirting with in the cafeteria. Wipe that stupid grin off your face."

"It's pitch black in here. How did you know I was smiling?"

"Because I know you."

"I like it when you get jealous," Kenny whispered, and Craig could tell from his voice that he was still grinning from ear to ear.

"I'm not j—I just want to know who that girl was who was sitting on your lap feeding you grapes."

Kenny rolled his eyes. "She was sitting next to me and she fed me a carrot stick."

"What's the difference?"

"Dude, carrot sticks aren't grapes."

"That's not the point!" Craig cried. Then, remembering where they were, he lowered his voice. "Are you seeing her?"

"I don't even know her last name. I'm not sure if I even know her first name."

"That doesn't mean you're not sleeping with her."

"You know, I wish everyone would cut the 'Kenny will fuck anything with a pulse' bullshit. I'm not sleeping with her or anyone else. Well, besides you."

Craig sighed. "I know. I'm sorry."

"Why do you care anyways? I thought we were just fooling around. You're the one who said we weren't anything serious."

"I just…I don't like seeing you with other people."

"And I don't want to be with other people," Kenny whispered, his tone softening. "I think that makes us exclusive."

"Well, I guess but…I don't want anyone to know. Not yet."

"Then we won't tell anyone." Kenny reached up again and ran his fingers through Craig's soft, dark locks. This time, Craig didn't object.

"And don't give me anymore fucking hickeys either. I don't think the, 'I was drunk and forgot who gave it to me,' story is gonna work again."

"Dude, get a turtle neck."

"_Kenny_."

"Fine, fine. I won't suck on your neck."

"Thank you," Craig whispered.

Kenny leaned in close to whisper into Craig's ear. "But when you're done being ashamed of me, just let me know."

"I'm not ashamed of you. I'm ashamed of myself."

"Why? We're not hurting anyone. We're not doing anything wrong."

"Except, you know, skipping class. Because the late bell rang five minutes ago. And I think most people would agree that it's wrong to skip class and make out in a school janitor's closet."

"But we're just talking. We're not making out."

Craig leaned forward and softly kissed the corner of Kenny's mouth. "Well why the hell not?"

* * *

"Everyone pass forward your homework assignments, please."

Stan looked around nervously as the students around him began passing up their assignments. He leaned across the aisle toward Cartman's desk. "Dude, where the hell is Kenny?" he whispered.

"How the fuck should I know?"

"He has my assignment," Stan whispered.

Cartman laughed. "Sucks for you."

"Eric Cartman," the teacher said, glaring at Cartman.

"Yes Mrs. Andrews?"

"Is something funny?"

"No Mrs. Andrews."

"Good." She looked around the room. "Do I have everyone's assignments?"

"No Ma'am," Cartman responded.

"Where's your assignment, Eric?"

"Oh, I didn't mean me," Cartman said. "I'm talking about Stan. He didn't hand his paper in."

Mrs. Andrews looked at Stan. "Stanley, is that true?"

Stan sighed. "Yes."

"Why don't I have your paper, Stanley?"

"I…uh…"

"He didn't have time to do it, Mrs. Andrews," Cartman told her. "Because he was too busy making out with his Jew boyfriend Kahl last night."

"Shut up, fatass!" Stan cried. He felt he had to, because Kyle wasn't in this class to say it himself.

"Ey! I'm not fat!"

"Eric Cartman!" Mrs. Andrews cried. "Principal's office, _now_."

"Me?" Cartman cried, standing up. "But Stan called me a fatass!"

Mrs. Andrews glared at Stan. "As for you, Mr. Marsh. You can stay after school today until I have that assignment from you."

Stan groaned and planted his forehead on his desk. "Dammit Kenny," he muttered under his breath.

Cartman laughed and pointed at Stan. "You got detention!"

"Eric!" Mrs. Andrews shouted.

"Okay, okay," Cartman muttered walking towards the door. "I'm leaving." He added a _bitch_ under his breath, which Mrs. Andrews thankfully didn't hear.

He slammed the door on his way out and started making his way down the hall toward the principal's office, muttering obscenities under his breath as he walked, about how he'd really done nothing wrong, and didn't deserve to be punished.

Cartman stopped in his tracks when he heard a deep moan coming from somewhere nearby. He looked around uneasily. What the hell was that? His eyes fell on the janitor's closet. Taking a deep breath, he took a hesitant step toward the closet and pressed an ear to the door.

"Holy shit," Cartman whispered. There were definitely two people making out in there.

He tried to figure out who it was based on their voices, but all he could hear was panting and slobbering. Whoever they were, they were freaking savages. Suddenly the knob started to turn. Thinking quickly, Cartman darted behind a nearby trashcan, which was barely big enough to conceal his entire body. He peeked around the garbage can to watch the janitor's closet door. It opened ever so slowly, and a familiar blond head poked out and scanned the hallway.

_Kenny, you little whore_, Cartman thought to himself. He wondered what slutty girl Kenny had coaxed into that closet.

The boy's hair was even messier than usual, and his cheeks were flushed pink. Seeing no one else in the hallway, Kenny stepped out of the janitor's closet and whispered, "Okay, the coast is clear."

It took every ounce of self control in Cartman's body not to make a sound when Craig Tucker stepped out of the closet behind Kenny, pulling nervously on the earflaps of that stupid blue hat. His button-down shirt was open in the front, and there were several dark purple blotches on his neck.

_The fuck?_

"Dammit Kenny," Craig muttered, rubbing his neck. "I told you not to give me any more hickeys."

"I can't help it," Kenny replied. "I have a neck fetish. Besides, you fucking loved it."

Craig dug a yellow scarf out of his backpack. "That is not the point."

"We'd better get to our classes before the bell rings and this hallway fills up with students."

Craig wrapped the scarf around his neck. "Yeah, let's go."

Kenny looked Craig up and down and laughed. "Dude, your shirt," he mumbled, taking a step toward the taller boy so he could button his shirt for him.

He started at the bottom, taking his sweet time, and when he reached the top button, he stood on his toes and kissed Craig hard on the mouth. Craig returned the kiss, cupping Kenny's face in his hands.

Cartman's jaw dropped.

Kenny was the first to pull away. "C'mon," he said, taking Craig's hand. "I'll walk you to Spanish."

"Let go of my hand, you fag," Craig muttered.

"Oh ha ha," Kenny replied. "You're gayer than I am and you know it."

The two disappeared down the hall, and Cartman stood up from behind the trashcan. He scratched his neck, tying to take in what he had just seen.

Kenny, his friend Kenny, South Park High's resident ladies' man Kenny McCormick was having secret closet make out sessions with Craig freaking Tucker?

"Motherfucker."

* * *

So, that was the first chapter. I'd really appreciate reviews. I'm about a quarter done with the second chapter, so it should be up soon!


	2. So Cute It's Funny

I should probably take more time to reread this a few times, but I'm too impatient for that. So here's chapter two. Please review if you have time! Thanks to Trippin'Balls for reviewing chapter one. I appreciate knowing what you did and didn't like.

I don't own South Park.

* * *

**When You Have Everything to Lose**

**Chapter 2: So Cute It's Funny**

Call him a sap, but this was Craig's favorite place to be. Face-up on his bed, Kenny nestled on top of him, head buried in Craig's chest as Craig buried his hands in those thick blond locks. Sometimes they talked. Other times they just laid there in silence, as Kenny traced his finger along Craig's sharp jaw line. He liked to look down at Kenny's face and watch those impossibly long eyelashes shutter with each blink. The blond wouldn't be smiling, exactly, but his expression was always one of pure contentment. At times like these, Craig felt like no one could tell him this was wrong. No one could say it wasn't real.

"Kenny?" Craig said, breaking the silence.

"Mm hmm?" Kenny mumbled, moving his hand from Craig's jaw line to his throat. Craig didn't quite understand why, but Kenny had a strange fascination with his Adam's apple. He said he liked the way it bobbed up and down when he spoke.

"Do you want to run away?"

"What are we running away from?"

"Everything," Craig murmured. "Everyone."

"Where are we going?"

"Somewhere where we can be like this forever, and no one can judge us."

"There's no such place."

"Then just away from South Park. Somewhere where nobody knows us."

"Craig, that's fucking stupid."

Craig combed his fingers through Kenny's hair. "I know."

"But if you're serious," Kenny said, "then sure. Let's run away."

Craig sighed. He'd only been partially serious when he made the suggestion. He knew he couldn't really leave South Park and all of the people he grew up with.

"What are you so afraid of anyways?" Kenny asked. He sat up so he could look Craig in the eyes, straddling the taller boy's hips.

Craig sighed, sitting up as well. "I don't know. Everyone treating me differently. Looking at me differently."

"You care that much about what everyone thinks?"

"It's not that. It's just…" Craig took Kenny's hands in his. "I like us. And I know if my friends find out, they'll just…I don't know, make a big deal out of it and…ruin everything. I like my friends, Kenny, but they're a bunch of assholes."

Kenny laughed.

Craig crossed his arms and glared at Kenny. "What?"

Kenny shook his head, still laughing.

Craig tried to keep glaring, but his face finally broke into an uncharacteristic smile. Kenny's laughter was contagious like that. "Come on, what's so funny?"

"Nothing."

"Tell me," Craig said, giving Kenny a poke in the side. "I want in."

"You're just so cute it's funny."

* * *

"Would you look at that slut?" Stan muttered, glaring across the room at his ex-girlfriend. "Grinding up on every poor sucker she sees."

Kyle met his gaze. "Dude, she's just talking to Bradley and Jason. Besides, you dumped her. Over a month ago. Shouldn't you be over her by now?"

"I am."

Kyle raised an eyebrow at his best friend.

"I _am_," Stan insisted. "It's just not fair that _I _dumped _her_, yet she's the one having fun with other guys tonight while I'm stuck over here with you."

"Don't be an asshole, man. If you weren't such an asshole, maybe you'd have a new girlfriend by now."

Stan rolled his eyes. "A new girlfriend? Who do you think I am—Kenny? I only broke up with Wendy six weeks ago. And we've been together on and off since we were kids."

"Yeah, you know, Kenny and I always agreed that that was a little messed up. I mean, childhood romances aren't supposed to go on that long. They should last, like, a week or two tops."

"My point is I've never been with anyone except Wendy. I can't find a new girl. I wouldn't even know where to start."

"You could start by talking to one."

"Well where am I supposed to find…?"

"We're at a party, Stan. There are girls everywhere. Look, here comes one now."

And when Stan looked up, he saw that Kyle was right. The dark-haired girl who Kenny had so uncharacteristically rejected that day was approaching them.

"Hey guys," she said, looking around, as if expecting to find someone else there with them.

"Hey, uh…"

"Claudia," the girl supplied.

"Claudia. I'm Stan."

"I know," Claudia replied. "Um…Is Kenny here?"

Stan turned to Kyle. "She's looking for Kenny."

"No, he's not here," Kyle told her.

"Oh. Do you know where he is?"

"Honestly? Kenny's kind of kept to himself lately," Kyle replied. "He doesn't really tell us anything anymore."

"Oh. So, um, do you know if he has a girlfriend?"

Stan and Kyle exchanged looks.

"Kenny would tell us if he had a girlfriend, right?" Kyle asked.

"Yeah. Yeah, of course he would."

Kyle turned back to Claudia. "He doesn't."

"As far as we know," Stan added.

"Aren't you supposed to be his best friends?" the girl asked.

"Yeah. So?"

"Well, aren't best friends supposed to, like, know things about each other?"

"Your point?"

Claudia shook her head. "Nothing. I'll see you guys around."

The guys watched glumly as the attractive girl left to join her friends.

"That's my problem," Stan told Kyle. "All the hot girls are into Kenny."

"I think deep down," Kyle replied, "everyone is a little into Kenny."

"Even you?" Stan asked.

"Even you," Kyle replied.

"Not me, dude. I'm not like that."

Kyle chose not to argue with Stan. He changed the subject. "I can't believe Kenny turned her down. What do you think he's doing right now?"

"Knowing Kenny, I bet he's got an even hotter date tonight."

* * *

"Kenny," Craig murmured, as the blond placed several small wet kisses along his collarbone. "If you give me another hickey, I swear to god…"

A soft moan escaped his throat as Kenny began to suck softly as his collarbone. Kneading his hands through the other teen's thick blond hair, Craig laid back on his bed, pulling Kenny down with him. He worked his hands through Kenny's hair, then down his back, until he reached the hem of his white t-shirt. He began to peel the shirt away, and Kenny broke away from Craig's collarbone briefly to allow him to pull the piece of clothing over his head to be discarded somewhere on the messy bedroom floor. Kenny, in turn, began to slowly unbutton Craig's shirt from top to bottom. When he reached the end of the shirt, he moved onto the jeans, unbuttoning those as well.

"Stop," Craig whispered suddenly.

"What's wrong?" Kenny murmured.

"Shh!" Craig hissed. "Did you hear that?"

Kenny lifted his head to listen, as a door slammed in another room.

Craig sat up abruptly, shoving Kenny off of him. "My dad's home! Put your shirt on!"

Kenny scanned Craig's floor for the t-shirt, his head still foggy. "Where is it?"

"Never mind. No time. Just hide."

"Hide where?" Kenny asked, looking around the room. When Craig pointed to a nearby door, Kenny crossed his arms defiantly. "Really? Your closet? Don't you think that's a little too much literal for one day?"

"Fuck, Kenny, just get under the desk then."

As the footsteps in the hall drew nearer, Kenny dove under Craig's desk. Craig buttoned his shirt frantically, popping his collar to hide as much of his blemished neck as he could. As the knob on his door began to turn, Craig planted himself on his desk chair to further conceal Kenny, accidentally kicking him in the stomach as he scooted in.

"Ouch, dude!" Kenny yelped, just as the door swung open.

"Hi, dad," Craig greeted his father, who stood in the doorway looking confused.

"Did I just hear a cry of pain?" Mr. Tucker asked, looking around the room.

"Um. I was just watching this video on YouTube," Craig lied, pointing to his computer screen. "Yeah, this guy just got hit in the balls with a baseball bat."

This answer seemed to satisfy Mr. Tucker, because he didn't press any further. "How was school?" he asked.

"It was goo—ah!"

Mr. Tucker stared at his son, concerned, as Craig kicked something under his desk.

"Something just bit me," Craig explained quickly, swatting an imaginary bug away from his arm. He bit his lip to hold back a moan that was creeping up his throat.

"Is everything okay, son?" Mr. Tucker asked.

"Of course. Wh—AH—y wouldn't it be?"

"Well, I got a call at work today from your school. They said you spent seventh period in the nurse's office."

"Oh, yeah. That. It was nothing. Just a bit of a stom—AH!" Craig threw back his head, and his eyes rolled back in his skull. "Oh, god!" he cried.

"Craig?" his dad said, standing petrified in the doorway.

Craig sat up straight, panting hard, struggling to regain his composure. "Stomach ache," he finished.

"Son, what's going on?"

"Oh, geez. Not now!" Craig cried, kicking under the desk again.

"Craig!" his father shouted.

"It's…my stomach ache. I think it's gas. You might want to go."

"Are you sure? Do you need some…?"

"Just go!" Craig shouted, squirming uneasily.

Mr. Tucker quickly stepped out of the room, closing the door behind him. Craig gave Kenny another angry kick, standing up and zipping up his jeans. "God, Kenny."

Kenny laughed, crawling out from under the desk. "You need to relax."

"My dad was standing right there!"

"Why do you think I'm laughing?"

Craig crossed his arms. "You're a dick."

"True," Kenny replied, walking toward the taller boy and slipping an arm around his waist. "But you like dicks, Craig."

* * *

"You don't think it's true about Annie's brother, do you? Did he really rape a little girl?"

"No, that's just a rumor, man," Stan assured his friend.

"But what if it's true? Aren't you a little nervous about being a party with a rapist?"

"Well…there's beer."

"Stan, that's not the…never mind. Where's Cartman, dude? He's the one who invited us to this stupid party."

"I don't know, dude. I haven't seen him since he got kicked out of English class."

"Cartman got kicked out of class today?"

"Yeah, for calling me gay."

"What an asshole."

"Who's an asshole?"

The two teenagers turned around to see their heavyset friend standing there, looking distracted.

"You are, asshole," Kyle replied.

"Where have you been, Cartman?" Stan asked.

"Just talking to Kevin and Tweek. Asking if they've noticed anything strange about Craig lately."

Stan and Kyle exchanged confused glances.

"Why were you asking Kevin and Tweek about Craig?" Stan asked.

"Because guys," Cartman replied. "I found out something today. Something terrible and…hilarious."

Kyle sighed. "Something tells me we should just walk away and not listen to whatever he wants to tell us."

"No, Kahl, you have to hear this! It's about Kenny, and why he's been acting like such a douche lately."

"I was right," Kyle said. "We definitely don't want to hear to whatever he's clearly dying to tell us."

"Stan," Cartman said, placing a hand on his dark-haired friend's shoulder. "You've noticed that Kenny's been acting strangely, right?"

"Well, yeah," Stan replied. "But what does that have to do with Craig?"

"Don't ask him questions, Stan," Kyle advised. "I'm telling you, whatever he wants to say is totally fucking stupid and has nothing to do with us."

"It has everything to do with us!" Cartman replied dramatically. "Kenny is our best friend. And…" he removed his hat and held it to his heart with both hands. "…he needs our help."

"Why does Kenny need our help?" Stan asked, a look of deep concern in his eyes. "What's wrong with him?"

"Here we go…" Kyle muttered to himself.

"He's…" Cartman said. "He's…gay for Craig Tucker."

Kyle rolled his eyes. "I told you, Stan. I told you whatever Cartman had to tell us was bullshit."

"Kenny's not gay, dude," Stan said. "You're just making that up for attention."

"I am not! I saw it with my own eyes!"

"You call people gay all the time."

"Like when, Stan? When was the last time you heard me call someone gay without evidence that they truly were?"

"This afternoon. You told Mrs. Andrews that I didn't finish my homework because I was too busy having sex with Kyle."

"He said what?" Kyle cried.

"I said 'making out', Stanley. And anyways, this time I really mean it. I saw Kenny and Craig sucking face in the middle of the hallway. And Craig had so many hickeys on his neck, it looked like a fucking rash."

Kyle crossed his arms. "I don't believe you, Cartman. If Kenny was gay and wanted to hide it, why would he kiss Craig in the middle of the hallway?"

"Because no one else was around, Kahl. It was during seventh period when I got sent to the principal's office."

Kyle rolled his eyes. "This is ridiculous. Come on, Stan. We don't have to listen to this anymore."

"No, I'm serious-lah you guys!"

Kyle gestured for Stan to follow him, but the dark-haired boy didn't move.

"Stan, come on," Kyle urged.

"Kyle," Stan replied, not budging. "What if he's telling the truth?"

"You're not really considering this, are you? Come on, Cartman lies to get attention all the time."

"Ey! I do not!"

"But Kyle," Stan said. "Kenny has been acting weird lately. And he was really late for English today."

"So?"

"Well you have Spanish with Craig, don't you?" Stan asked. "Was he really late to class too?"

Kyle thought about it. "Well…yeah. But he had a note saying he was in the nurse's office."

"Dude, so did Kenny. He forges those notes all the time."

"He does?"

"Yeah, dude. He forged one for me last week."

"Okay but…that doesn't mean he was making out with Craig."

"Kahl! I saw them. They walked out of the janitor's closet together and they were all sweaty and their clothes were messed up and Craig was mad at Kenny for sucking on his neck. I swear on my shiny white bawls."

"He swears on his balls, dude," Stan said.

"Okay," Kyle said, rubbing his temples. "Let's pretend for one second that Cartman's not completely full of shit. Let's say he really did see Kenny kiss Craig in the hallway."

"'Kay?" Stan said.

"Does that really mean Kenny's gay?"

"What kind of stupid question is that?" Cartman asked. "If you started making out with Stan right now, it would totally make you gay."

"This is Kenny we're talking about here," Kyle replied. "Maybe he's just…experimenting."

"That makes sense," Stan agreed. "After all, Kenny is the biggest whore in all of South Park."

"But if he was gonna experiment with a guy," Cartman replied, "it wouldn't be with Craig. He'd go for someone more manly like…Token or Stan. Or me."

"You'd like that, wouldn't you Cartman?"

"Anyways," Cartman went on, ignoring Kyle's comment. "Craig has braces."

"What does that have to do with anything?" Kyle asked.

"Everyone knows you can't be a good kisser if you wear braces."

* * *

Kenny ran his tongue along warm silver metal, until Craig's teeth parted. For a moment, the two teenagers fought for dominance, until Craig's tongue finally overpowered Kenny's and found its way into the smaller boy's mouth. Craig explored Kenny's mouth for a while. Kenny could barely breathe, but he didn't really mind. He jumped slightly when he felt the other's tongue press hard against the roof of his mouth.

"Woah, dude," he said, pulling away and breathing heavily.

He'd always been told that people with braces weren't good kissers, but Craig's skills never ceased to amaze him.


	3. Kenny McCormick's Day Off

Thanks to everyone who's read the first two chapters.

Review?

* * *

**When You Have Everything to Lose**

**Chapter 3: Kenny McCormick's Day Off**

At five a.m. on Friday morning, Craig awoke to the sound of a car horn blasting outside his house. He groaned. What kind of asshole would wake him up that way instead of calling or at least ringing the doorbell? He checked the clock on his nightstand. And this early in the morning? "Kevin Stoley, if that's you…" he mumbled, sitting up and pushing his curtain aside. Through the window he saw Kenny sitting in the driveway in his dad's rusty old pickup truck. He rolled his eyes. Why was this not his first guess?

"Get your ass out of bed, Tucker!" Kenny shouted from the driveway.

Craig flipped him off and dropped the curtain, climbing reluctantly out of bed. He pulled on some jeans and a black turtle neck, then searched his messy floor until he located his blue ear-flapped hat. After grabbing his jacket and backpack, he was out the door.

"I usually walk to school, you know," he said, as he climbed into Kenny's dad's pickup. "And it doesn't take me three hours."

"I know," Kenny replied. "But we're not going to school today."

"We're not?" Craig asked, his voice expressionless.

"Nope. We're running away."

"Oh, really?"

"Yep. You said you wanted to run away, so you and I are running away."

"Just like that?"

"Just for the day, of course," Kenny explained. "I figured you needed the day off. Like Matthew Broderick in that movie."

"So you woke up at the crack of dawn so you could give me a day off?"

"No, I always wake up this early."

"Okay. So where are we going?"

"I'm thinking Denver."

"In your dad's pickup?"

"Well we can't take your dad's car. He needs it for work since he's, like, employed."

Craig rolled his eyes, but didn't object. He sat back on the torn leather seat and closed his eyes. He knew Kenny well enough to know that if the young man decided to ditch school to go to Denver, there was no changing his mind. So he might as well just enjoy the trip.

* * *

"Where is he?" Stan groaned, beating his head against Kenny's locker. "The bell's about to ring and we still haven't seen him."

"Have you checked the janitor's closet?" Cartman asked.

"God, Cartman, you are so full of shit," Kyle told the heavyset teenager. "And when we track Kenny down and ask him what's really going on, you're going to look like such an idiot."

"He's not gonna admit it, Kahl," Cartman replied. "But I know what I saw. And I saw Kenny and Craig making out in the hallway."

"Quiet, dude!" Stan exclaimed. "You haven't told anyone else, have you?"

"That Kenny's gay? Of course not."

"Good."

"How am I supposed to blackmail him if everyone knows his secret already?"

"Dude, you can't blackmail Kenny with a secret like this," Stan replied. "He's our friend."

"There's no secret, because Kenny's not gay," Kyle said simply.

"Craig's not my friend," Cartman told Stan, ignoring Kyle's comment. "I can blackmail him."

"Craig's straight," Kyle stated.

"Craig's about as straight as his teeth," Cartman replied.

"Cartman, you fat lying fuck."

"I'm not fat you Jew!"

Stan rolled his eyes at his constantly-bickering friends. He spotted a blond boy walking their way and quickly flagged him down.

"Butters! Hey Butters!"

"Yeah, Stan?" Butters said, walking toward the three boys. "What's going on?"

"You haven't seen Kenny, have you?" Stan asked.

"You mean you didn't hear?"

"Hear what?" Kyle asked curiously.

"You haven't heard the news about Kenny? Why, I thought you three would be the first to know, being his best friends and all."

The three friends exchanged nervous glances. "What news, Butters?" Kyle asked. "What do you know about Kenny?"

"Why, he told Bebe last night that he wouldn't be in school today, on account of a rash that's spread all over his backside."

Cartman burst out laughing, and Kyle rolled his eyes.

"A butt rash?" Stan said. "Kenny's out of school with a butt rash?"

"Well that's what all the other fellas are saying."

"Then I guess we won't know the truth until Kenny's rash gets better," Stan muttered, disappointed.

"You guys," Cartman said, shaking his head. "There is no rash. Kenny made that up to get out of school."

"People fake strep throat to get out of school, Cartman," Kyle replied. "No one in their right mind would fake a butt rash."

"Well if Kenny really did have a hideous rash on his ass, don't you think he'd keep it to himself?" Cartman pointed out. "He wouldn't call up Bebe Stevens first thing and tell her to spread the word."

"He's got a point," Stan admitted.

"You mean Kenny doesn't have a rash on his backside?" Butters asked, confused.

"No, assholes," Cartman said.

"Why would he make that up?" Kyle asked.

Cartman rolled his eyes. "You guys are so stupid. I'll tell you why he made it up. I'll bet you anything Craig's not in school today either."

* * *

"What'd you think?" Kenny asked, as he and Craig left the museum, hand-in-hand.

"I think it's pretty fucked up that people spend money here to look at dead people's preserved organs."

"Are you kidding me?" Kenny replied. "That shit was awesome."

"It was disturbing."

"Okay, fine. Body Worlds was my idea, so you decide where we go next."

"How about school?" Craig suggested. "We can still make it in time for second period if we leave now."

"Craig, I'm trying to show you a good time here. You should be thanking me."

"But what if people get suspicious when we both don't show up for class?"

"They won't," Kenny replied. "I called up the biggest gossip in school and told her that I had the most bizarre infliction imaginable. And you called Tweek this morning and told him you had to go to a funeral."

"But what if Tweek remembers that I already went to a funeral for my grandpa two years ago? Don't you think my friends will realize sooner or later that my grandpa couldn't have died twice?"

"You have two grandpas, don't you?"

"Yeah, but one of them is still alive."

"And lives in Florida somewhere. It's not like your friends are gonna track him down. God, Craig, you worry too much."

"Only because you don't worry enough."

Kenny stopped walking and placed his hands firmly on the taller boys' shoulders. "Craig, listen to me. Nobody is going to find out about us. We've gone two months already without anyone suspecting a thing, and every day you get more and more paranoid. So today you are going to relax and have a good time even if I have to force you to. So are we gonna sit in my dad's truck for the rest of the day and worry about school, or are we gonna go to Laser Quest and crash some kid's birthday party?"

"Well…it has been a long time since I've played laser tag."

"Then what are we waiting for?"

* * *

"So then Bebe said, 'Wouldn't you rather get a fake one than none at all?' Which is true, I guess, but still…"

"Dude," Kevin muttered. "Too much information."

"Don't be a prude, Kevin," Clyde replied.

Lunchtime had rolled around, and Clyde, Kevin, Token, and Tweek were sitting at their usual table, paying no mind to Craig's empty seat. None of them suspected that at that very moment, Craig was in Denver, curled up in the back of an empty movie theater with Kenny McCormick.

"D-do they really fake them?" Tweek asked, staring at Clyde wide-eyed.

Clyde shrugged. "Bebe says they do."

"And she just told you this?" Token asked.

"I kinda wish she didn't," Clyde said, taking a bite of his potato salad. "I would have rather gone on believing that I was, like, some kind of god in bed."

"Jesus," Token said, stabbing his chicken-fried steak with his fork. "I wonder if Wendy's ever faked an orgasm with me."

Token jumped at the sound of a lunch tray hitting the linoleum floor behind him. He spun around to see a very stunned Stan Marsh there, hands clinging to the air as if unaware that he no longer had a hold of his lunch. Kyle and Cartman were standing on either side of Stan, the former giving his best friend a sympathetic pat on the shoulder, the latter chuckling lightly.

"Stan," Token greeted the raven-haired boy sheepishly. "I…didn't realize you were standing there."

"Did you…wanna sit here?" Clyde offered lamely.

"It'd be a little awkward, don't you think?" Kyle replied.

"Yeah, maybe," Clyde muttered.

"Heh, Stan," Cartman snickered. "We all knew you'd find out eventually that your ex was banging Token, but god, I had no idea it'd be this funny."

"You knew?" Stan asked, looking accusingly at Cartman.

"Everyone knew!" Tweek blurted. Then he ducked slightly and muttered, "I shouldn't have said that."

Stan turned to Kyle. "You too?"

Kyle hung his head, which seemed to be enough of an answer for Stan, who quickly turned around and made a beeline for the cafeteria doors.

"Well what are you waiting for?" Cartman asked Kyle, who was staring after his best friend. "Go chase after your faggy little boyfriend already."

"You're an asshole, Cartman," Kyle muttered, as he hurried off after Stan.

Cartman stepped gingerly over Stan's fallen lunch tray and took Craig's empty seat. "So, you guys," he asked the four at the table, all of whom were nervously watching the door which Stan and Kyle had both run out of. "Is Craig around?"

"Huh?" Kevin asked. "Um. No. He went to a funeral or something. Shouldn't you follow your friends?"

Cartman scratched his chin. "Nope. A funeral, you say? Interesting."

"No, dude. It's kind of the opposite of interesting," Token replied.

"My friend Kenny's not in school today either," Cartman told them.

"We know," Tweek piped up. "We heard about his rash. You don't think that's contagious, do you?"

"Heh heh, I don't think you can catch what Kenny has," Cartman laughed.

"Oh, good," Tweek sighed.

"What's with the sudden interest in Craig?" Kevin asked. "You were asking about him last night at the party too."

Cartman shook his head. "It's nothing, you guys. You'll find out soon enough."

* * *

"That was an awesome movie," Kenny commented.

"How would you know?" Craig asked. "You didn't look up at the screen the entire time."

"That's what was awesome about it," Kenny replied, waggling his eyebrows suggestively.

"Stop acting like such a creeper. We're in public."

"But none of these people know us," Kenny replied, glancing around the cozy little diner. "That's why we came to Denver. Because we won't see anyone we know. We can be as gay as we want and you won't have to worry about your secret being exposed."

Craig frowned. "I guess."

"Here comes the waitress. I'll show you what I mean."

"Hello boys," the young waitress greeted them, handing them both menus. "Can I get you anything to drink?"

"Water's fine," Craig replied, thinking about how much money Kenny had already spent on him that day. He'd refused to let Craig help him pay for anything, and everyone in South Park knew that the McCormicks were not very well-to-do financially.

"Nonsense," Kenny said, slapping his menu down on the table. "Whiskey for me," he told the waitress. "And a bottle of your finest wine for my…" he looked Craig up and down, trying to decide exactly what to call him. He finally went with, "…lover."

"_Lover?"_ Craig mouthed the word to Kenny as if trying to decide whether he liked it. Kenny shook his head as if to say, "Just go with it."

"We don't serve alcohol here," the waitress told Kenny, not looking amused. She eyed the two _lovers_ suspiciously. "Shouldn't you two be in school?"

"Oh, no," Kenny responded. "We can't go to school today. We're…"

"Suspended," Craig filled in.

"That's right," Kenny agreed. "We got caught exchanging sexual favors in the janitor's closet."

"_Kenny_," Craig hissed, his cheeks flushing with embarrassment. He turned to the waitress. "He's just kidding. We only made out in the janitor's closet."

The waitress stared at them blankly. "I don't care."

"You see?" Kenny said, turning to Craig. "She doesn't care. That's the beauty of it." He turned back to the waitress and quickly explained, "Craig's afraid of his own feelings."

"I am not," Craig replied, reaching across the table for Kenny's hand to prove it.

Kenny grinned, squeezing his boyfriend's hand. "That's more like it."

"Look," the waitress responded. "The details of your…_relationship_ are none of my business. I just need to know what you want to drink."

"Coke for me," Kenny decided quickly. "Dr. Pepper for the lady."

"Don't call me that," Craig said, as the waitress took off to get their drinks.

"Come on, you know I'm teasing."

Craig merely rolled his eyes, then scanned the café around them. "Check out that guy," he said, nodding toward someone behind Kenny.

Kenny raised a blond eyebrow. "I'm not comfortable checking out other guys with you, dude. And I don't know if I'm comfortable with you doing it right in front of me."

"No, I didn't mean… Just look at him."

Kenny turned around and took a peek at the guy. He seemed pretty normal. White t-shirt, gray baseball cap. Nothing about him seemed particularly interesting or attractive. Then again, Kenny had never been attracted to any guy besides Craig before, so what did he know?

"I don't see anything special about him."

"You mean you can't tell?"

"Tell what?"

"That he's a raging homo."

Kenny turned back to Craig. "You can't tell if someone's gay just by looking at him."

"I can," Craig replied.

"No you can't."

"I totally can. I have, like, a gaydar gift."

"I don't believe you," Kenny said, turning back around, just as a man walked in the front door and sat beside the gay stranger, removing the man's baseball cap and ruffling his hair affectionately. As the two men shared a kiss, Kenny sat forward in his seat, dumbfounded. "Dude."

"I told you."

"How did you know?"

"I'm not really sure," Craig replied. "I can just tell."

"That's so weird. How long have you had this gift?"

"A while."

"So how many are there in our class?"

"Gay people?"

"Yeah."

"Just one other guy."

"No kidding. Who?"

Craig smiled. "Guess."

"Butters?"

"Nope. Butters is straight."

"No way Butters is straight," Kenny replied. "Didn't his dad send him to a Christian camp for homos? And that video he made is still up on YouTube. That butt sex song he sang."

"I'm telling you, Kenny, Butters isn't gay."

"Then who is it?"

"It's…oh, shit."

As Kenny waited expectantly for an answer, Craig ducked quickly under the table.

"God, Craig, can't it wait 'til we get back to the truck?" Kenny joked. Suddenly, he felt a tug on his parka, and the next thing he knew he was being pulled under the table as well. "What's going on?" he hissed.

"Shh!" Craig replied simply.

The two heard soft footsteps as the waitress returned to their table with their drinks. She heaved an annoyed sigh at finding the table abandoned, and they watched her feet as she walked away.

"What are we doing?" Kenny whispered.

"We're hiding. So shut the fuck up."

"Hiding from…?"

Kenny's question was cut short as Craig slapped his hand over the smaller boy's mouth. Soon enough, two more sets of feet approached the table, taking the seats the two boys had previously occupied.

"No. Don't sit here, dammit," Craig whispered, annoyed.

Kenny's eyes widened as he stared at the two sets of feet. He recognized this woman's shoes. He recognized this man's voice.

* * *

"'We won't see anyone we know. That's why we came to Denver.' That's what you said, Kenny. So explain to me why we just spent _over an hour_ crammed under a table listening to Mr. and Mrs. Broflovski eat soup and tell each other how much they love each other and _can't wait to get home so they can be alone and do god-knows-what_. Explain that to me, McCormick."

"How was I supposed to know that Kyle's parents were gonna eat there? What were the odds of that?"

"Well they did."

"It's not my fault, Craig."

Craig just crossed his arms and leaned back against the cold leather of the passenger's seat. "Let's just go home, okay? I'm tired because you woke me up at the crack of dawn and I'm starving because our lunch was interrupted and I'm fucking freezing because your dad's piece of crap pickup doesn't have heating. I just want to go home."

* * *

_I thought you were over Wendy._

_I am over Wendy._

_Then why are you so upset?_

_I'm not upset._

Kyle shook his head as he read the note and quickly wrote back: _Yes you are. Stan, I can tell when you're upset._

He passed the note forward and watched as his best friend read it, scribbled a reply, and slipped the paper back to Kyle.

_Fine. I'm just pissed off that everyone knew Wendy was with Token and they purposely hid it from me. It's humiliating being the last to know, okay?_

_I'm sorry, Stan._

_I can't believe you didn't tell me._

Kyle sighed. _I'm sorry. I should have told you when I found out, but I didn't want to upset you._

_And you didn't think finding out this way would upset me?_

_I wasn't thinking._

_God, first Kenny turns out to be gay, then I find out my ex-girlfriend is sleeping with Token. What other secrets are my friends hiding from me?_

Kyle rolled his eyes as he read Stan's message. _Kenny's not gay. Cartman's just a dick._

_I think he's telling the truth this time, Kyle._

Kyle shook his head and scribbled: _We'll find Kenny later and find out the truth. But I'm telling you, there's no way Cartman is right about this._

As he slipped the folded up note to his best friend, a crumpled sheet of paper landed on his desk. Curiously, he opened the paper ball and smoothed it out.

_Stan's straight, Kyle, so you might as well just get over him._

Kyle turned around and glared at Cartman, who just grinned. Against his better judgment, he decided to respond.

_Shut up, Cartman. I'm not gay for Stan._

He tossed the note back, and a few short seconds later, it was returned to his own desk.

_But you're not denying that you're gay. So who's the unlucky bastard?_

Kyle fumed.

_I'm not gay, fatass. Leave me alone._

_It's Kenny, isn't it? That's why you're in denial about this Craig thing._

Kyle nearly snapped his pencil in two as he read Cartman's reply. Breathing out heavily, he wrote: _It's not Kenny and there is no Craig thing._

_Ha! So now you don't deny that there's gay crush._

Kyle's cheeks grew bright red as he realized his mistake, which he quickly tried to amend.

_I'm not gay, Cartman. There's no crush. I'm not into Stan or Kenny or any other guys._

He passed the note back to Cartman and waited for a response. Before long, the paper ball came sailing back to him, and he smoothed out the paper to read: _ It's not me, is it? Cause no offense, Kyle, but you're not my type. I'm not into faggy ginger Jews._

Fuming, Kyle ripped the note to shreds and slumped down in his seat, crossing his arms angrily. He knew he should have just ignored Cartman from the start. How did the fatass always manage to get under his skin like that?

* * *

Kenny expertly dialed the combination to Craig's locker, opening it on the first try. He wasn't sure which books his boyfriend would need, so he simply grabbed them all and dumped them into his worn out backpack. The school day had ended about twenty minutes earlier, and Kenny had agreed to get Craig's school things for him. It was the least he could do, after kidnapping his boyfriend and keeping him from his education. As he slammed the locker shut he wondered if he should get his own books as well, but decided against it, knowing he probably wouldn't do any homework over the weekend anyways. He turned on his heels to walk toward the door, but was met with a bit of a surprise. Stan was standing in front of the main entrance, arms crossed determinedly. Kenny wasn't sure what his friend wanted, but whatever it was couldn't be good.

He had two options. Either he could face his friend now, or he could turn around to cut through the gym and leave the school through the back entrance. Clutching his bag to his chest, he spun around and darted toward the gym doors. But to his surprise, Kyle was blocking the gym, wearing the same determined look as Stan.

"Okay, guys," Kenny said, laughing nervously. The way his voice echoed through the barren hallway reminded him eerily of some kind of horror movie. "One of you wanna tell me what the hell is going on?"

"Get him!" Stan cried from his post at the front door.

"Wha—?"

The next thing he knew, Kenny was on the floor, his shoulders pinned against a row of lockers.

"Kyle, what the fuck?" he cried, trying to shove his redheaded friend off of him.

"You can't hide anymore, Kenny," Kyle told him, as Stan jogged over to join them. "It's time to tell us the truth."

"Are you two on drugs or something?"

"Where were you today?" Stan asked.

"I had to go to the doctor," Kenny replied. "I had a rash on my ass. Thanks for your concern."

"We know you're making that up," Kyle replied.

"Dude, if I had to make up an illness to get out of school, would I choose something as embarrassing as a butt rash?"

"Only if it was to cover up something even more embarrassing," Kyle replied.

"What's more embarrassing than an ass rash?"

"Kenny," Stan said, shoving Kyle aside and putting his own hands on his friend's shoulders. "Are you gay?"

"Will you leave me the fuck alone, Stan?" Kenny replied, shoving him away and climbing to his feet. "I like girls."

"Fair enough," Kyle said. "But do you like guys the same way you like girls?"

"Go to hell," Kenny replied.

"Have you ever been attracted to Stan?" Kyle asked.

"No."

"What about Kyle?" Stan asked.

"No!"

"What about Token?" Kyle asked. "Tweek? Clyde?"

"No, no, and no," Kenny said shortly. "Now will you stop asking me weird questions? I have to go home and rub ointment on my ass."

"What about Craig Tucker?" Kyle asked.

Kenny stared at his friends for a moment, then let out a great sigh and dropped his heavy backpack to the floor. "Fuck," he muttered. "What do you guys know?"

"Oh my god," Stan said. "Then it's true?"

"How did you find out?" Kenny asked.

"The party… And Cartman… The principal's office… And he saw… And you two were… Oh, my god, Cartman was telling the truth?"

"Kyle, what part of that statement was supposed to make sense to me?"

"When did this…_How_ did this happen?"

Kenny sighed. "Look, we can talk about this, okay? Just not here. Meet me at my house."

"And you'll tell us everything?" Stan asked.

"I don't really think you want to know _everything_."

His friends just stared at him, arms crossed.

"Fine," he muttered. "I'll tell you whatever you want to know, okay?"

Kyle and Stan nodded.

"And if you say a word to anyone," Kenny told them, "I will kick your asses. Understood?"

* * *

Thanks for reading. I'd really appreciate some reviews.

I stuck that little fake-orgasm discussion in there because after re-reading chapter two, I was disappointed by the absence of Craig's friends. Believe it or not, the fake-orgasm discussion was based on a discussion we had in on of my computer tools class, brought up by the instructor. College is weird.

Just a warning-the next chapter is going to take a dramatic turn, Crenny-wise.


	4. A Symbiotic Relationship

Thanks to everyone who's been reading this. I like getting favorite and alert messages, but I'd like some reviews too. I haven't gotten many. But don't worry, I won't discontinue the story or anything just because people aren't reviewing. As long as I know people are reading, I'll keep posting.

* * *

**When You Have Everything to Lose**

**Chapter 4: A Symbiotic Relationship**

"Okay, Kenny. We're all here. Now do you wanna tell us what the hell is going on?"

"Have a seat, guys. Make yourselves comfortable. Would you like anything to drink? We have water and, uh, water."

"We don't want any of your dirty ghetto water, McCormick! Just tell us when you started sucking Craig's neck."

"Yeah, dude," Kyle said. "When did this happen? I thought you liked girls."

Kenny sighed. "I still like girls. I just…I like Craig too. That's all."

"So…" Stan said. "You're like…bisexual?"

"Yeah, I guess that's the word for it."

"Why do you gotta be all bisexual Kenny?" Cartman asked. "Can't you just pick one or the other? Just go full homo and leave some chicks for us straight guys?"

Kenny shook his head. "There are so many things wrong with you, Cartman."

"So when exactly did this all start?" Kyle asked.

Kenny shrugged. "A couple months ago."

"Months?" Stan cried. "And you haven't told anyone?"

"No. You guys are the first to know. Any you can't tell a soul. _Cartman_."

"Jesus Christ, Kenny," Cartman muttered. "You think I'd tell people that one of my friends likes dick."

"You tell people that Stan and Kyle are gay for each other all the time," Kenny pointed out.

"Well it's different when it's _true._ Shit, I can't hang out with you anymore. I can just feel you undressing me with your eyes."

"Sick, dude. You have nothing to worry about. Ever."

"I don't get it, Kenny," Kyle said. "Why all the secrecy? I mean, I can understand not telling Cartman, because he's a homophobic bastard. But you could have told me and Stan. We wouldn't judge you."

"I know that," Kenny replied. "It's not me. It's Craig. He thinks if anyone finds out they'll treat him differently or something."

"Wow, I still can't wrap my head around this," Stan muttered. "You and Craig are bisexual?"

Kenny laughed. "Not Craig. He's a gay as Cartman is fat."

"Ey!"

"But don't tell him I said that."

"So how did you two end up…hooking up…or whatever?" Kyle asked, hesitantly.

"Ew, Kahl!" Cartman cried. "Don't say 'hooking up'. I don't want to think about Kenny and Craig 'hooking up'."

"Fuck you, Cartman!" Kenny shot back. "Why are you even here?"

"Because I'm the one who saw you and Craig coming out of the closet together." Cartman snickered. "Coming out of the closet. Get it?"

"So?" Kyle asked, impatiently. "How did you and Craig get together?"

"Well, we got paired up to do this biology lab together. You know, the one with the fruit flies? And I started going to his house after school to work on the report. So we were hanging out pretty much every day and eventually I just started liking him."

"Who made the first move?" Stan wanted to know.

"He did," Kenny answered. "Or…I did. No, he did."

Stan blinked. "So which is it?"

"It depends on what you would consider the first move. We were at his house making posters for our fruit fly report, and Craig asked me, 'Have you ever thought about another guy the way you think about girls?' And he must have known the answer, you know, because he has this super gaydar…"

"And?"

"And then I kissed him."

"Shit, Kenny," Cartman mumbled. "That's just unnatural."

"Well so are chicken nuggets, fatass, but you're certainly not afraid of those."

"Ey!"

"Have you ever been attracted to any other guys?" Stan asked.

Kenny shook his head. "Just Craig. Believe me, when it happened, I was way more surprised about it than you guys are now."

"I have just one more question," Stan said.

"Shoot."

"Why Craig?"

"What?"

"I'm just curious," Stan replied. "What exactly do you find attractive about Craig?"

"I already told you guys!" Cartman put in. "It's his neck. Kenny has a neck fetish, and he likes to suck on Craig's neck."

"Shut up, Cartman, I'm asking Kenny."

Kenny ran his hands through his hair. Stan's question made him more uncomfortable than he liked to admit, so he tried to sound lighthearted as he replied, "Don't tell me you guys haven't noticed Craig's sweet ass."

"I'm being serious, Kenny!"

Kenny sighed. "Yeah, I know."

"So of all the guys you could turn gay for, why Craig?"

Kenny crossed his arms. "What do you have against Craig?"

Stan scratched his neck awkwardly. "Well don't you think he's kind of…?"

"A douche bag?" Cartman supplied.

Kenny took a seat on the edge of his wobbly coffee table. "He's not a douche bag, Cartman. He's just…closed up. But he's different with me."

"Different how?" Kyle asked.

"He opens up to me, you know? And he makes me laugh. And he doesn't smile a lot at school, but when it's just us, sometimes I can't get him to stop smiling. I mean, not that I'd really want to, because I…I really like his smile."

"You like his braces?" Cartman asked incredulously.

"Yeah, I like his braces. So what?"

"That's weird, Kenny."

Kenny ignored Cartman and continued, relieved to finally be able to share this part of his life with his friends. "I like how he thinks he has to act all tough all the time, you know? And I like his eyes and the way his hair smells. Oh, and that neck thing Cartman mentioned. That was true too. I do like his neck."

"Do you like necks in general or just Craig's?" Cartman asked. "Like, does my neck turn you on?"

"What neck, fatass?"

"Ey! I'm not fat!"

Kenny shook his head and glanced out the window. "Oh shit," he mumbled, his eyes locking on something outside.

"Hey, Kenny," Cartman said. "I'm just curious. Who's dominant in this relationship? You're not the girlfriend, are you? Do you take it up the ass?"

"Shut up, Cartman," Kenny replied, still looking out the window.

"God, Cartman," Kyle said. "You made Kenny uncomfortable."

"Kyle, shut up!" Kenny cried.

"I think you made Kenny uncomfortable by saying that Cartman's question made him uncomfortable."

"Yeah, Kahl. You asshole."

"You guys!" Kenny shouted. "Shut the fuck up! Craig is here!"

Kenny's living room went silent, and seconds later there was a knock at the door.

"Nobody say a word," Kenny ordered, walking to the door to let his secret boyfriend in.

He pulled the door open and Craig greeted him with a smile. "Hey, Kenny. Look, about today…I realized I never really thanked you properly. I shouldn't have gotten mad at..." he glanced behind Kenny and saw Stan, Kyle, and Cartman sitting on the broken couch. "Oh. Hey guys. I didn't know you were here."

Kenny stepped aside. "Come on in."

Craig accepted the invitation and walked inside. He was met with uncomfortable stares from Kenny's friends.

"Hi guys," he greeted them.

"Hey Craig," they chorused weakly.

Craig swallowed hard, looking from Kenny's guilty face to his three friends' equally guilty expressions. "Oookay. If there was any more tension in this room it would snap. What were you guys talking about before I got here?"

"Nothing!" Stan blurted, a little too quickly.

Craig scratched his neck nervously. "Are you sure?"

"HIV positive," Cartman replied smoothly.

Craig froze. "What did you just say?"

"We were just talking about how you're a queer," Cartman blurted. "And that you've got a hard-on for Kenny."

"Cartman!" Kenny shouted. He turned to Craig. "I never used any of those words."

"But you were talking about me?" Craig asked.

"It was nothing bad," Kyle said.

"Just that you're gayer than AIDS," Cartman replied.

"Gayer than AIDS, Cartman?" Stan said.

"I didn't say that," Kenny assured Craig.

"But you were talking about me."

"Well…yeah. But not the way Cartman's making it sound."

Craig shook his head. "You guys are assholes."

"We're not assholes!" Kenny assured him. "Just Cartman."

"It's true!" Kyle shouted. "We just seem like assholes because Cartman's a big enough asshole for the four of us."

After flipping everyone the bird, Craig turned to leave. "I'm out of here."

"Craig, wait," Kenny said, following him to the door. "We weren't saying anything bad, I swear. Craig!"

"Bye," Craig mumbled, slamming the door behind him.

Kenny sighed and turned to his friends. "You guys are assholes."

* * *

"You still haven't told us about that mystery girl," Clyde observed, as he and the rest of Craig's friends sat together in a snug booth in the corner of Tweak's parents' coffee shop on Saturday afternoon.

"Because there is no mystery girl," Craig replied. It wasn't technically a lie, because Kenny obviously wasn't a girl.

"Then you wouldn't mind rolling down the collar on that stupid turtleneck," Token said. "Come on, dude, you're either wearing that shirt to look like a tortured poet or you're trying to cover up another hickey."

When Craig refused to comply, Kevin reached over and tugged the collar down himself.

"Cut it out!" Craig cried, trying to smack his friend's hands away. But it was too late. They had all seen the damage, and the four boys gasped in unison.

"Fuck dude!" Tweek cried. "What _attacked_ your neck?"

"And don't tell us you were drunk and you can't remember who it was either," Clyde said. "That excuse only works once."

One at a time, Craig met each of his friends' eyes, and he knew he was trapped. He sighed, defeated. "Okay, fine. I'm seeing someone. A girl."

"Well?" Kevin demanded. "Who is she?"

"I…can't tell you."

"Why not?" Token asked. "Does she have a boyfriend or something?"

"If it's Bebe I'll kick your ass," Clyde warned.

"It's not Bebe. She doesn't have another boyfriend. She's…" Craig thought up a lie quickly. "…a freshman. And I thought you guys would call me a cradle-robber or a pedophile or something because I'm eighteen and she's only fourteen."

Craig immediately regretted his lie, wondering if it was worse than the truth. Being a pedophile was worse than being a queer, right? His fears were confirmed when Clyde laughed out loud.

"A freshman?" his friend snickered. "You should get together with Annie's brother and swap stories, baby raper!"

"She's fourteen?" Kevin shook his head. "Dude, you should have just lied and told us you were…I don't know, a faggot or something."

"It's only four years difference," Craig muttered, not sure why he was defending his fake relationship.

Unable to meet his friends' condescending stares, his eyes darted toward the door, just as an all-too familiar teenage boy walked in. Craig felt his cheeks grow crimson as the heavy teen spotted his five peers and began to walk toward their table, a devious smile spread across his chubby face.

"What are you doing here, Cartman?" Token asked, also spotting the boy walking toward them.

"I'm just here to see my good friend Craig," Cartman replied, feigning innocence.

"We're not friends," Craig said immediately.

Cartman pouted. "But I feel _so close_ to you. Especially after our little _heart-to-heart_ after school yesterday." Craig's stomach twisted in knots. "You wouldn't want to ruin our _newfound friendship_ by _being rude to me_, would you?"

"You and Cartman had a heart-to-heart?" Clyde asked. "That sounds a little gay, Craig."

"I would thank you kindly not to call my friend gay," Cartman replied. "That's how rumors get started, and we certainly wouldn't want something like that traveling around South Park."

Craig's ears burned beneath the blue flaps of his chullo. "What do you want, Cartman?"

"Just to talk. Privately, if you don't mind. Could you join me for a minute, buddy?"

"I wouldn't go with him, man," Tweek whispered. "I don't trust him."

Neither did Craig. He eyed Cartman suspiciously.

"I guess we could discuss this in front of your friends," the fat boy said, an evil glint in his brown eyes. "It's just that it's a little _embarrassing_. The kind of thing I don't want _everyone in the school_ to know about."

Craig sighed, defeated, and stood up reluctantly. He followed Cartman across the empty coffee shop to a table out of earshot of his four best friends.

"Let's get this over with," Craig muttered, sliding into the booth across from Cartman. "What do you want? How many people have you told?"

"Craig, Craig, Craig. Why on earth would I tell anyone about this? It's not my secret to tell." Craig raised an eyebrow as the grin on Cartman's face grew wider. "Besides, what use are you to me if everyone knows you're a fag?"

"I don't like the sound of this."

"But don't you see that we both need something from each other?"

"You're blackmailing me."

"You're good in biology, right? This is one of those—what do you call them?—symbiotic relationships. Each of us has something to offer the other."

"And what exactly would that be?" Craig asked, wishing Cartman would just get to the point.

"You need me to keep your dirty little secret," Cartman replied. "And I need a personal slave."

"What? Hell no."

Cartman shrugged. "Well then, if I'm too exhausted from all the strenuous work I have to do throughout the week, I guess can't help it if I _slip up_ and _accidentally_ spill to your friends about your little janitor's closet rendezvous with Kenny McCormick. I mean, I'm cool with your sexuality because we're buddies, Craig, but I hate to think what an asshole like Clyde might say about that kind of thing."

Craig stiffened at the mention of his friends. He glanced over at them across the coffee shop and saw that they were all watching him intently, obviously eager to find out what this was all about.

"That's right," Cartman said, following the thinner boy's gaze. "They're all dying to know. What do you think? Should I fill them in?"

"No!" Craig cried, jumping to his feet. He sighed and sat back down. "No. Whatever you want, I'll do it."

Cartman grinned. "That's what I like to hear."

"You're not expecting, like, sexual favors or whatever, are you? Just because I'm gay doesn't mean I'll go down on just anyone."

"Sick, dude. I don't want to catch Kenny's diseases from you."

"Then what do you want?"

Cartman reached across the table and patted Craig's hand. "All in good time, Craig." He stood up, indicating that the conversation was over.

The raven-haired boy groaned loudly and buried his face in his hands. He didn't notice when Cartman ran into a blond-haired boy on his way out the door or when said blond walked over to his table and took the seat that Cartman had been occupying. It wasn't until Kenny cleared his throat that Craig peeked wearily through his fingers and saw his boyfriend sitting across from him.

"What was Cartman doing here?" Kenny asked, as Craig removed his hands from his face.

"We were just having ourselves a nice little chat."

"He didn't tell anyone about…"

"No."

"So everything is…"

"Okay? I don't think so."

Kenny frowned. "Craig…"

"Why did you have to tell your friends?" Craig asked him. "Everything was fine, and you had to ruin it by telling your asshole friends."

"I didn't…"

"You didn't think it would change anything? You didn't think I'd mind you telling those assholes my biggest secret?"

"Would you just listen to me? I didn't tell them!"

Craig blinked. "You what?"

"I didn't tell my friends about us," Kenny whispered. "They found out."

"How did they…?"

"Cartman saw us quite literally coming out of the closet at school."

"But…But the hallway was empty."

"Apparently it was a smidge less empty than we thought."

"And you couldn't have made up some excuse?"

"My friends deserved an explanation, Craig. Cartman saw us kissing. I couldn't lie my way out of that."

Craig planted his forehead in his hand. "God, how did we let this happen?"

Kenny shrugged. "Is it so bad that they know?"

"It's not good, Kenny."

"It's not like they're gonna tell anyone. They're my friends."

"They're assholes."

"Craig…"

"Cartman's blackmailing me."

Kenny sat back in his seat, stunned. "He's what?"

"He says if I don't do whatever he tells me to, he'll tell my friends that I'm…_gay_." Craig said the last word in a whisper, even though the only other people in the coffee shop were his four friends, who were seated too far from the secret couple to hear a word of their conversation.

"So tell them yourself."

"What?"

Kenny shrugged as if this were the most obvious solution in the world. "If you out yourself, Cartman has nothing on you."

"Forget it. I'd rather be Cartman's slave."

"They're your friends, Craig. They won't care if you're gay. What are they gonna do, beat you up?"

"I don't know, Kenny. I don't know how they'll react. That's why I can't tell them."

"What do you have to lose?"

"Everything."

Kenny sighed, accepting the fact that he would not win this fight. "Okay fine. I don't want you to come out until you're ready. It's just that Cartman's not the kind of guy you want controlling your life."

"You don't think I know that?"

"I don't want you sucking his balls."

Craig smiled. "Don't worry. There will be no ball sucking going on."

"And if he asks you to sleep over at his house, just say no."

"I'll keep that in mind."

Kenny grinned and reached across the table for Craig's hand.

"Kenny!" Craig snapped, jerking his hand away. "My friends are right over there."

"Right," Kenny said, his face falling. "Sorry."

Craig sighed, seeing the hurt in those baby blue eyes. "No, I'm sorry. I know you don't like keeping this a secret."

"I like you, Craig. And I don't care who knows it. Sometimes I feel like…"

"Like I don't feel the same way?"

"Do you?"

Their eyes locked together, and just as Craig was about to answer, a third party interrupted them.

"Uh, Craig?"

He tore his eyes away from Kenny to look up at the person who had approached their table. "Tweak," he squeaked. "How long have you been standing there?"

"Just a couple seconds. What's going on? What did Cartman want?"

"Nothing."

"Well, are you gonna come sit with us? The guys are getting—gah!—freaked out."

"You're always freaked out, Tweak."

Kenny reached across the table and rested his hand on Craig's wrist, annoyed by this interruption. "Craig? My question?"

"What? Oh. Just a sec, Kenny."

"Craig, what's going on?"

"Nothing. I'll be over there in a minute, Tweak."

"_Craig_," Kenny said, irritated.

"Craig?" Tweak said, confused.

"I said just a minute, Tweak!"

Tweak pointed nervously to Kenny's hand, which was still wrapped around Craig's slender wrist. "Are you two…holding hands?"

Craig looked from Tweak's shaking fist to Kenny's firm grip on his wrist and pulled away quickly. "Gah!" he cried. "No!"

"Craig," Kenny repeated, this time in a whisper.

"Don't touch me, fag!" Craig cried, standing up.

Kenny looked like he'd been slapped, and Craig immediately wished he could suck the words back into his mouth. The blond ran a hand through his hair and looked across the room at Clyde, Token, and Kevin, who had clearly heard their friend's outburst. "Okay," he said simply, sliding out of the booth. "If that's what you want."

"Kenny…"

"Don't worry, Craig," Kenny cut him off, walking toward the door of Tweak's parents' coffee shop. "I'll stay the hell away from your straight ass. Wouldn't want you catching the faggot germ off of me. Your friends might fucking bludgeon you with baseball bats if you turn queer all of the sudden."

Craig flinched as Kenny slammed the door hard on his way out. Tweak looked from the door to his miserable-looking friend. "What…was…that?"

Craig shook his head. "Nothing, Tweak."

"Dude!" Kevin shouted across the room. "Is Kenny really gay?"

* * *

"I'm so kicking your ass, Kahl."

"Only because you cheated, fatass."

"How did I cheat?"

"You stole my controller you retard!"

"God, do you guys have to fight like this all the time? It's getting old."

"It's not my fault Cartman's a fat, spoiled asshole."

"It's not my fault you're a no-good Jew!"

"Shut up, guys!"

They heard Stan's front door open and shut, and then the sound of a heavy coat being dropped onto the floor. "Hey Kenny," the three friends said in unison, none of them tearing their eyes away from their video game.

"Hey guys," Kenny responded, taking his usual seat on Stan's couch. "Got an extra controller?"

"In my room," Stan replied.

"You're hanging out with us again?" Cartman asked. "Not too busy playing tonsil-hockey with your metal-mouth boyfriend?"

"No. That's…not going on anymore."

"What?" Kyle cried, dropping his controller and turning to look at Kenny.

"Finally decided to dump that fag and switch back to chicks?" Cartman asked, taking the opportunity to beat the crap out of Kyle's game character while his adversary was distracted.

"Not exactly," Kenny replied.

"Then he dumped you?" Kyle asked.

Kenny shrugged. "I guess you can say that."

Stan reached forward and switched the X-box off. "How was this not the first thing you said when you walked in?" he asked, ignoring Cartman's cries of protest.

Kenny shrugged.

"Is it because we found out?" Kyle asked.

"Not exactly."

"Who cares why they broke up," Cartman muttered, throwing down his X-box controller. "The important thing is the abomination is over."

Kyle placed a comforting hand on Kenny's shoulder. "Well, are you okay?"

Kenny shook his head.

"Is there anything we can do?"

He shook his head again.

"Do you wanna talk?"

Kyle got the same response.

Stan got to his feet and nudged the depressed-looking blond. "Come on. Let's go to Cartman's."

"My house?" Cartman asked. "Why?"

"Sunday mornings are for recovering," Stan replied. "Saturday nights are for getting drunk and forgetting all your problems."

Cartman nodded. "C'mon, McCormick. We're gonna fuck you up."

Kenny shrugged apathetically. "Kay."


	5. Never Have I Ever

I actually wasn't planning to update until Wednesday because I get Tuesday off work, but I finished this chapter much sooner than I thought I would. And honestly, if I'm this impatient to get my chapters up, than I figure readers who don't know what's gonna happen next are even more impatient. At least that's what I hope. Anyways, thanks to Bialy for writing the greatest review ever and fadefade and MaxMizuhara for their positive reviews.

I don't own South Park.

* * *

**When You Have Everything to Lose**

**Chapter 5: Never Have I Ever**

"Never have I ever…gone streaking through the school parking lot."

"Goddamnit," Kenny slurred, picking up his beer and taking a quick swig.

"Never have I ever...fucked another dude."

"Damnit you guys," Kenny said, picking up his beer and drinking again. "You guys are just saying things that you know only I've done."

"That's because we're trying to get you drunk, dumbass," Cartman replied. "Never have I ever sucked Craig Tucker's neck."

"So he can forget about Craig, asshole," Kyle reminded Cartman as Kenny took another swig. He was a little annoyed, because he was the only one at this point in the game who hadn't taken one sip of his beer yet. Not that he was a big drinker anyways, but it always made him feel so…inexperienced. Kenny, on the other hand, always ended up far drunker than his friends when they played Never Have I Ever. Now that the other three had discovered the truth about his sexuality, they had even more to use against him. And knowing Kenny, he would feel much better once he was good and drunk.

They'd been playing for a while now, and by this time, Kenny was close to forgetting his own name, Cartman was getting tipsy, Stan was nearly drunk, and Kyle was stone-cold sober.

"My turn," Kenny said, setting down his beer. "I never…felt up Wendy's tits."

Stan reached for his beer, and his eyes narrowed when he saw Cartman do the same.

"Dude!" he cried, as Cartman took a gulp.

"What?" Cartman asked, as though Stan should not have been surprised by this revelation.

Kenny chuckled drunkenly. "Cartman groped Stan's girlfriend."

"It's not funny, Kenny!" Stan shot back, taking an angry swig of his beer.

"She's not his girlfriend," Cartman reminded them. "It was after they broke up."

"And that makes it okay?" Stan asked.

"Of course it wasn't okay. That's why I did it."

Kenny just laughed some more before leaning in and whispering, "You guys, you guys."

"What?" Stan asked, still glaring at Cartman.

"I'm…really drunk."

"Really?" Kyle asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Kyle, your turn," Stan said.

"Never have I ever…" Kyle began. _Done anything worth mentioning in this game_, he thought bitterly. "Given a blow job."

"That's gross, Kenny," Cartman commented, as the blond gulped down the rest of his beer and tossed the empty bottle aside.

"Fuck you, Cartman," Kenny slurred, uncapping another beer.

"Never have I ever…" Stan said, thinking. "Never have I ever peeked at other guys in the locker room."

"Ha!" Kenny cried, pointing a triumphant finger at Stan. "I've never done that! See, I'm not a complete pervert." He then belched loudly and took another drink, forgetting that he was only supposed to drink if he'd committed the crime.

Glancing nervously at Stan, Kenny, and Cartman, Kyle hesitantly reached for his untouched beer, honoring the rules of the game, but hoping to God his friends would be too distracted by Kenny to notice. No such luck.

"Kahl!" Cartman cried, both surprised and amused.

Stan too looked shocked. "You…check out other dudes in the locker room?"

"Just out of curiosity!" Kyle replied defensively, taking a quick sip of his beer. "I'm not gay."

"Why?" Stan cried. "I mean, is it to like…compare size or something?"

"I'm _not _gay," Kyle insisted again.

"Sure, dude. Sure," Cartman replied, laughing.

"Shut up, fatass!" Kyle cried, his cheeks turning a bright shade of red from either embarrassment or anger.

"Make me, you faggy little Jew," Cartman shot back.

"Shut up Cartman or I'll…"

"You'll what?" Cartman asked. "Have your way with me right here on my mother's coffee table?"

The flush in his cheeks grew even deeper as the redhead tried to shrink back into Cartman's couch.

"Heh," Kenny snickered drunkenly. "Kyle's a fag."

"I am not, Kenny!" Kyle cried. "You're the one who fucked Craig for two months!"

Kenny stopped laughing immediately, and a hint of sadness shone through his sleepy blue eyes. "Two months…" he repeated.

Kyle's red cheeks turned pale. "Kenny, I'm sorry…"

"God, Kyle. That was a little harsh," Stan commented, scooting closer to Kenny and putting a comforting arm around the drunken teenager. Kenny welcomed this gesture, burying his face in Stan's black hair. Stan shuddered slightly, although whether this was due to the unwanted display of affection from his recently-outed friend or the overwhelming scent of alcohol on said friend's breath was hard to tell.

"Uh…Ken?"

"Fuck Craig," Kenny muttered, throwing his beer to the ground, shattering the thick bottle against Cartman's living room floor and tangling his now empty hands in Stan's shirt.

"Kenny!" Cartman cried.

"Fuck Craig," Kenny repeated. "You know what? He made me feel like a fucking slut. He said…we were just fooling around. And then he made me keep it a secret. Kept me a secret. Like I was a dirty fucking whore. Didn't want anyone to know about me."

"Kenny…" Kyle whispered, surprised by his friend's drunken honesty.

"He fucking used me. Treated me like a slut. I'm not his fucking bitch. Fuck him…"

Stan and Kyle exchanged worried glances as the blond tore away from his friend and buried his face in his hands. Cartman sighed and nudged Kenny. The depressed-looking teenager looked up at his large friend, who simply handed over his half-empty bottle of beer.

"Never have I ever," Cartman said, "had my heart broken."

And Kenny downed the last of Cartman's beer before curling up on the couch and falling asleep.

"Someone should look after him," Stan said. "Make sure he doesn't, like, choke on his own vomit or something."

"I'll do it," Kyle volunteered, standing and walking around the coffee table to place a hand on his sleeping friend's shoulder. "I am the only sober one in here, after all."

"Fine," Cartman agreed. "Just don't take advantage of him while he's passed out."

"Fuck you, Cartman."

* * *

"Feeling better?" Stan asked, approaching a pale, tired looking Kenny at his locker on Monday morning.

"I'm done puking my guts out if that's what you mean."

"That's not what I meant, actually."

"No. I'm not feeling any better about _that_."

Stan smiled sympathetically. "You will."

"How do you know?"

"Because you're Kenny fucking McCormick."

"Can't argue with that I guess."

"So, if you run into…you-know-who today," Stan said hesitantly, "do you think you're ready to face him?"

Kenny thought about this, scratching the back of his neck uneasily. "I don't know. Why?"

"Because," Stan replied. "He's coming this way right now. And he looks like he wants to talk to you."

Just as the words left his friend's mouth, Kenny felt the presence of the tall boy behind him. He took a deep breath and slowly turned around.

"Hey," the two greeted one another in unison.

"Do you…want something?" Kenny felt the urge to pull the hood of his orange parka over his head and draw it tightly around his face.

"Can we talk?" Craig asked.

Kenny shrugged. "Didn't you say enough on Saturday?"

"Please?"

There was a sort of urgency in Craig's voice that Kenny couldn't force himself to ignore. He sighed, defeated. "Fine. What is it?"

"Could we talk in private?" Craig asked, eyeing Stan.

Kenny rolled his eyes. "You mean in secret."

Stan suddenly felt very much in the way. He took a step back and said, "I should get to class." With that, he turned and sped away, twenty minutes before the first bell would ring.

Kenny nodded toward the front doors of the school. "Outside," he said.

A few minutes later, the two teenagers were standing beside the flagpole outside South Park High School. Kenny stuffed his cold hands into his pockets and stared up at Craig expectantly.

"Well?"

"Kenny, I…" Craig fiddled nervously with the tassels that hung from the earflaps of his blue chullo. "I'm sorry. For acting like an asshole in front of my friends."

Kenny shrugged. "Well, I can understand why you did."

"You can?"

"Sure," Kenny replied. "You're not ready to come out to your friends, so you treated the person you supposedly cared about like shit to cover up your own homosexuality."

"Supposedly?"

"Well do you like me, Craig?"

"Of course I do. A lot."

"And would it be so terrible if your friends knew that?"

Craig's silence pretty much answered Kenny's question.

"Then I guess this is really over."

"Kenny, I'm trying to apologize to you," Craig replied, almost pleadingly.

"And I accept your apology," Kenny responded. "I forgive you for acting like a jerk."

"Then why does this have to be over?" Craig asked.

"Because we want different things. I get that you're afraid, but I don't want to hide anymore."

Craig reached out and combed his slender fingers through Kenny's thick blond hair. "Why not? Why can't this just be special? Just between you and me?"

Kenny slapped the taller boy's hand away. "Because it doesn't make me feel special, Craig. It makes me feel like your fucking mistress."

The mixture of hurt and confusion in those gray eyes he knew so well was almost unbearable, but Kenny refused to look away. He was determined to do what he knew was the right thing for both of them. He could only hope that this goodbye would not be forever. Taking a deep breath, he said in a voice that sounded far more confident than he felt, "I don't want to be your dirty little secret anymore."

* * *

"Don't look now, Stan, but Token's got your ex-girlfriend pressed against his locker and his tongue halfway down her throat."

"You don't have to rub it in, fatass."

Stan rolled his eyes. "Thanks, Kyle, but it's fine. I really don't care."

"You don't have to act like it doesn't bother you, Stan."

"I'm not acting. I really don't care who Wendy makes out with. It's none of my business."

"None of your business? You only dated her for…well, practically your whole life."

"I broke up with her, remember? And that was two months ago. If you should be worrying about anyone right now, it's Kenny."

"Kenny's been in and out of a thousand fucked-up relationships," Cartman pointed out. "He always bounces back. You're kind of the opposite. You've been in and out of one fucked-up relationship a thousand times and you never get over it."

"Shut up, Cartman. I'm over it. And besides, this thing with Craig is clearly different than other…quote unquote 'relationships' Kenny's been in."

"Do you think they were in love?" Kyle wondered, rummaging through his locker for a notebook.

"Dude, Kenny doesn't fall in love," Stan replied.

"He never has. That doesn't mean he doesn't have the capacity for it. It's strange to think, though, that the person who finally did it to him would be Craig of all people."

"I agree with the Jew for once. This whole thing is fucking twisted."

"I mean, Kenny could have—_has had_—practically every girl in this school," Kyle went on. "Cause, you know, Kenny's kinda…gorgeous."

"What the fuck, Kyle," Stan replied. "Did you just call Kenny gorgeous?"

"I'm not gay, Stan. I'm just saying that Kenny's hot. Everyone thinks so."

"That _totally_ makes you gay, Kyle. Cartman, tell Kyle that calling another guy hot makes him gay."

Cartman shook his head. "Nope. I have to agree with the Jew again."

"_What_?"

"It's like I told you at the party, Stan. Everyone is at least slightly attracted to him," Kyle explained.

"It's true," Cartman agreed. "He has this attractive quality that people can't help but like, even though he's a poor piece of crap."

"Have I stepped into an alternate universe or something? The thing that you two finally agree on is that…Kenny…is…_hot_?"

Kyle and Cartman both nodded.

"And you both still insist that you're straight?"

The two nodded again, and Stan just shook his head.

"But Craig's kind of the opposite of Kenny," Kyle went on. "He's got this quality that people can't help but _not_ like."

"He's a dick with fucked up teeth and a fucking nasally voice," Cartman put it bluntly.

"Oh, come on. Craig's not that bad."

All three boys jumped at the sound of Kenny's voice. They turned around and saw their blond friend standing there, slender hands placed on his hips and an amused smirk on his lips.

"Kenny!" Stan cried in surprise. "How long were you…?"

"Just long enough to hear Kyle and Cartman agree on how smoking hot I am."

"Don't let it go to your head," Kyle responded, his cheeks glowing crimson.

"It doesn't make us gay," Cartman insisted. "Well, we all know Kahl's gay, but I'm not."

"I'm not gay, fatass!"

"Then why do you feel up other guys in the locker room?"

"I don't grope them, you asshole. I just look at…dammit, just shut the fuck up!"

"So how are you?" Stan asked Kenny, ignoring his bickering friends.

"Surprisingly well," Kenny replied. "All things considered. Craig, on the other hand…"

"Where is Craig?" Cartman cut him off.

Kenny crossed his arms, raising an eyebrow at the large boy. "Cartman, I didn't think you were interested."

"Fuck, Kenny, I'm not trying to be his rebound you sick bastard. I just want to talk to him."

"Blackmail him, you mean?"

"That's a pretty strong accusation, McCormick."

"He told me what you said at Tweek's Saturday, Cartman. Just leave Craig the hell alone, okay? I don't want you causing him problems. He's doing enough of that on his own."

Kenny's words were lost on Cartman, because at that moment, he saw the tall, raven-haired boy down the hall, staring apathetically at Tweek who was talking animatedly to him.

"Hold that thought, Kenny," he muttered, abandoning his friends at their lockers.

"Cartman!" Kenny shouted after him, to no avail.

Cartman arrived moments later at Tweek's locker and pulled Craig aside, ignoring his twitchy friend's protests. When they were a safe distance from any other students, Craig yanked his arm out of Cartman's grasp and glared at the large boy.

"What do you want, Cartman?"

"Is that any way to greet your new friend, Tucker?"

"I'm not in the mood today, fatass."

"Someone's awfully sour today," Cartman commented.

"And I'm pretty sure you know why."

"Missing Kenny's cock already, huh?"

Craig took a deep breath and rubbed his temples. "Look, Cartman. Just tell me what you want me to do and I'll do it, okay? Just don't mention Kenny again or I'll ring your fucking neck, I swear to God."

Cartman frowned. "Not feeling very friendly, are we? Fine, I'll just give you the list then."

"You made a _list_?" Craig asked incredulously, taking the sheet of notebook paper that Cartman fished out of his backpack for him. He stared at the page. "When am I supposed to run to the 7-Eleven and buy you Double Stuf Oreos?"

"You'll find a time. And it better be before lunch."

"You want me to do your biology homework? How do you know I'm even good in biology?"

"Because you and Kenny got the best grade in the class on that stupid fruit fly report, and Kenny sucks in biology."

"I told you not to mention him, Cartman."

"I was just answering your question, Tucker."

Craig rolled his eyes and continued to skim the list until he reached the bottom. "What are these numbers at the bottom? Thirty-five, thirty-seven, eight?"

"Kahl's locker combination."

Craig raised an eyebrow. "And why are you giving me Kyle's locker combination?"

"That, my friend, is part of a secret project I'm working on."

"And what part am I playing in this secret project?"

Cartman glanced around the hallway before slipping a sealed envelope out of his backpack and handing it to the lanky teen.

"What is this?" Craig asked, inspecting the envelope.

"Listen very carefully, Craig. I want you to put that letter in Kahl's locker during lunch."

Craig brought the letter to his face and promptly dropped in on the floor in surprise. "What the hell, dude? Did you spray that with cologne? It smells like…" He felt blood rushing to his face, embarrassed that he actually recognized Kenny's scent. He must have been gayer than he thought. He wondered briefly why Cartman would douse a letter to Kyle with Kenny's cheap aftershave.

"Never mind what it smells like," Cartman said impatiently, dropping to his knees to pick up the fallen letter. "Just get this note to Kahl's locker. And don't let anyone see you, _especially Kahl_. You got that?"

Craig eyed the envelope nervously. He knew whatever Cartman was doing to Kyle with this letter was wrong. It had to be. But what could he do? His only other choice was to let the fatass spill his biggest secret to the entire school. He sighed. "Got it," he mumbled.

"And Craig?"

"What?"

"Don't open the envelope."

* * *

"Where's Craig?" Clyde asked, taking his usual seat in the cafeteria for lunch.

Kevin shrugged. "Said he had something important to do after class. I didn't ask what."

"Is it just me or is he acting kind of strange today?" Clyde asked.

"Stranger than he's been acting for the past couple of months, you mean?" Token replied.

"Well…yeah. I mean, today he's acting more than just secretive. He seems…"

"Depressed?" Tweek supplied.

"Exactly. So what's up? You think it's his parents?"

"They split up four years ago," Token pointed out. "And he hasn't said a word about it since then. Why would he suddenly get all depressed over that now?"

"You think his little girlfriend dumped him?" Kevin wondered. "I mean, that'd be pretty depressing, right? Being dumped by a niner?"

"And embarrassing enough that he wouldn't tell us," Clyde added. "You're right, Kev, it could be that."

"I think it has something to do with Cartman," Tweek blurted. The three other boys turned to him curiously. "I just have a—gah!—a bad feeling about Cartman."

"Well you should," Clyde responded. "Cartman's a sadistic asshole. I'd be worried if you had any good feelings about him."

"I'm serious you guys," Tweek insisted. "I think Cartman did something to Craig. He's been acting funny since Cartman talked to him at my place on Saturday. And this morning I was talking to him at my locker, and Cartman pulled him aside and Craig seemed really freaked out." The twitchy teenager gripped the ends of his blond hair nervously. "I know he's a fat bastard, but you don't think he'd hurt him, do you?"

"You need to relax, dude," Token replied. "Craig's a big boy. He can take care of himself."

"But—"

"I mean it, Tweek. I know Craig's our friend, but whatever the hell's going on with him has nothing to do with us. And it's not our fault he's so closed up all the fucking time. We've been friends since fucking grade school; we shouldn't have to ask him what's going on."

"Hey, Craig. What's going on?" Kevin piped up, looking somewhere over Token's left shoulder.

"Dammit!" Token cried, spinning around to see Craig standing behind him, his face expressionless as always. "Why does this keep happening to me?"

"Because you don't look over your shoulders before you talk?" Clyde offered, scooping up a spoonful of coleslaw.

"Talking about me?" Craig asked, taking his usual seat. "I'm flattered, you guys, but my life's really not as exciting as you seem to think it is."

"Where have you been?" Clyde asked him.

"I just had some…business to take care of."

"With Cartman?" Tweek asked.

Craig's eyes darted across the cafeteria to where Cartman was sitting, but his gaze fell instead on a pair of intense blue eyes that were staring right back at him. He sucked in a deep breath, tearing his eyes away from Kenny's quickly. God, what made him think he could stand to be in the same cafeteria as Kenny? He wasn't ready for this.

"Well?" Clyde prodded. "What took you so long getting here?"

"Who cares?" Craig replied. "The important thing is I'm here now. Peace is restored and your pathetic lives have meaning once again."

Token shook his head. "You're a dick, dude. Sometimes I wonder why I even hang out with you."

Craig shrugged. "Friends: Can't live with 'em. Can't kill 'em."

* * *

"Quit staring at Craig, Kenny," Stan muttered, nudging the blond beside him.

Cartman looked over his shoulder, following Kenny's gaze. "Craig's here?"

Kenny glared at the fat boy. "Why do you care?"

"I don't. Kahl, can I borrow your, uh, calculator?"

"No, fatass. You'll break it."

"I will not! Please, Kahl?"

"It's in my locker. I don't feel like getting it for you."

"God, Kahl, what kind of friend are you?"

"We're not friends, Cartman."

"That's only because you're a selfish Jewrat!"

"No, it's because you're an intolerant, gluttonous, fat fuck."

"Will you two shut the fuck up?" Kenny grunted. "Seriously, sometimes I wonder why I put up with you three."

"Hey, what did I do?" Stan asked.

Kenny just shrugged and returned his gaze to the tall boy across the cafeteria.

"God, Kenny, you're not helping yourself any by making bedroom eyes at him across the room."

"I'm _not_, Stan. I'm just thinking, okay? Leave me alone."

"I'm just trying to help you, man."

Kenny grunted in reply. Stan sighed and placed a hand on the blond boy's wrist. Kenny pulled his arm away as if his friend's touch had stung him. "What?" he spat, more harshly than he'd meant to.

"I was just…You wanna borrow my English again?" Stan offered, sliding his yellow notebook toward Kenny.

"Thought you weren't gonna let me again after last time."

Stan shrugged. "You need it. You ditched class Thursday and Friday, so you're probably more lost than usual."

Kenny smiled slightly and took the notebook from Stan, who seemed pleased.

"You see, Kahl? That's what a good friend looks like."

"What do you know about being a good friend, fatass?"

Cartman crossed his arms. "I wish you wouldn't say such hurtful things about my weight, Broflovski."

Kyle huffed. "Fine. I'll get my damn calculator for you. Just stop lecturing me about friendship as if we're actually friends."

Cartman smirked at the Jew victoriously as the small redheaded boy stood up and walked out the cafeteria doors, muttering obscenities.

"…expects me to be nice to him when he treats me like fucking crap," Kyle muttered, making his way down the empty hallway towards his locker. "Fat fucking bastard."

He reached his locker and, grumbling to himself, twisted the dial. Thirty-five, thirty-seven, eight. He pulled up on the handle and the door swung open. He furrowed his brow as a blank envelope fluttered off of the bottom shelf and landed at his feet. Curiously, he reached down and picked it up, tearing it open without a second thought. He unfolded the paper inside and read the typed letter. Then, taking a deep breath, he read it again. Still quite sure that what he was reading could not really be meant for him, he read the note a third time.

"What the fuck?"

He checked the envelope for some clue as to who this unsigned message had come from, but finding nothing, he crumpled up the envelope and tossed it into his tidy locker. Then he brought the letter to his nose and took in the overwhelming scent of cologne.

"Holy shit," he muttered, holding the letter away from his face. Whoever gave him this letter had basically drenched it in cologne. It smelled…familiar. But he couldn't quite place the scent. Shaking his head, he shoved the note into his pocket and made his way back to the cafeteria. He was still mystified when he sat back down beside Cartman at their table.

"Where's your calculator?" Stan asked, looking up briefly from Kenny, who was hunched over Stan's English homework.

Kyle sighed. "Shit, I forgot it."

"How did you forget the thing you left to go get?"

"That's okay, I don't need it anymore," Cartman said, looking pleased.

Kyle looked curiously at Cartman, but shook his head. He had more important things to worry about than his fat friend's strange behavior. Like who the hell wrote this fucking letter.

* * *

Wow. Lot's of locker and cafeteria talking in this chapter...I usually try to keep that to a minimum. Fail. But hopefully the Never Have I Ever game in the beginning makes up for it, cause writing that scene has been my most enjoyable experience so far in writing this story. I hope you had as much fun reading it as I did writing it! Please review! I'll love you forever!


	6. Putting on a Show

I have to say, first of all, that chapter 5 was my favorite chapter to write. And when I posted it, there was no part of that chapter I wasn't happy with. Chapter 6, on the other hand, has been my least favorite to write so far. It was a giant pain trying to get it to flow well. Kyle, surprisingly, was my favorite character to write in this chapter. Usually it's Cartman, because I get to unleash my inner asshole.

So after being disappointed with myself for leaving Craig's friends out of chapter 2, I vowed to give them at least a small section in every chapter that followed. That didn't exactly happen in this chapter. Instead I decided to give Kevin his own little moment, because I feel I've been neglecting him. Stoley needed some love.

Anyways, thanks to MaxMizuhara, Bialy, and xXDoodlyDooXx for reviewing chapter 5. Super special thanks for Bialy for being incredible. Would you like a piece of Candy, Bialy? I might have put a little piece in here for you :) It's not a big one, because this is a Crenny fic after all, but I hope it satisfies. And anyone else who enjoys a good Candy fic should check out what she's written, because they're FANTASTIC!

So anyways, enough of my rambling. I don't own South Park, yada, yada, yada. R&R

* * *

**When You Have Everything to Lose**

**Chapter 6: Putting on a Show**

"So what was the weirdest part?"

"Hm. Probably his height."

The four boys were in Stan's living room, lying on their backs on the floor. They were throwing popcorn into the air and trying to catch the kernels in their mouths, with the exception of Cartman, who was hogging a package of Double Stuf Oreos.

"His height?" Stan repeated.

"Uh-huh. He's so tall. I'd only been with girls before him, and they were all shorter than me. But Craig's, like, six three, so I guess I sometimes felt like the girl."

"Speaking of which," Cartman said, sitting up. "You never did answer my question before. Do you take it up the ass or what?"

"God, Cartman. None of your fucking business." It was not like Kenny to keep even the most personal details of his many relationships to himself, but this was different. He didn't want to talk about Craig as if he was another one of his random sluts.

"I'll take your refusal to answer as an admission of guilt."

"So Craig only likes guys, right?" Stan said, stretching his neck to catch a flying popcorn kernel. He missed, and the kernel landed on the floor with six or seven of its brothers.

"Yeah."

"So did he ever say anything about liking other dudes besides you?"

Kenny answered Stan's question with a question. "Did Wendy talk to you about other guys when you were going out?"

"Well, no. But she had girlfriends for that. Craig only had you."

This was true. Kenny thought about it for a moment before speaking again. "Well there was this one time…" Stan turned his head to face Kenny and waited for him to continue. "Craig told me once that he thought Kyle was hot."

Kyle sat up abruptly, choking on a piece of popcorn he'd just caught, while Cartman erupted into a fit of laughter. Stan sat up, slamming a hand against his best friend's back to dislodge the popcorn kernel from his throat. "God, Cartman, it's not that funny," he said.

"M-me?" Kyle choked out, once the color had returned to his face.

"Don't act so surprised, Brof," Kenny replied. "You're not totally unattractive."

"Not to fags at least," Cartman snickered.

"You know, if you can get past the fire crotch thing," Kenny added. "Some might even say you're…handsome."

Cartman laughed even harder. "Seriously, Kahl, you should just come out of the closet now, because guys seem to show a hell of a lot more interest in you than girls do."

"I'm not g-gay," Kyle squeaked between coughs.

"Shut up, Cartman," Stan stood up for his best friend. "It's not like you've ever had a girlfriend either."

"At least I've touched a girl," Cartman reminded him.

Stan's cheeks turned red. "Yeah, you probably paid her or something," he shot back.

"I didn't," Cartman replied. "And I didn't pay her when she let me kiss her either."

"YOU KISSED HER?"

Kenny rolled his eyes and put a calming hand on Stan's shoulder. He looked at Cartman. "And clearly you were good at it since she's with Token now and never speaks to you if she can help it."

Cartman shrugged. "What the fuck makes you think I wanna _talk_ to her?"

"YOU SON OF A BITCH, CARTMAN!"

Kenny raised an eyebrow. "You need to calm the fuck down, Stanley. Take Kyle into the kitchen. He needs a drink before he coughs up his diaphragm or something."

"When did you become all voice-of-reasony?" Stan muttered, seizing Kyle by the wrist as he rose to his feet. He continued to grumble to himself as he dragged his best friend to the kitchen. "Fat piece of shit," he mumbled as he poured Kyle a glass of water and handed it to him.

Kyle gulped down the water gratefully and wiped his mouth on his sleeve. "You usually don't let him get to you."

"What the fuck is he trying to prove by bragging that he made out with my ex-girlfriend? That he's more of a man than I am?"

"Is that what you're so insecure about? Being less of a man than Cartman?"

"I'm not insecure, Kyle. I'm just sick of his crap is all."

"We've been best friends our whole lives, Stan. I can tell when you're feeling insecure about something."

Stan blushed and turned his back on Kyle. "Okay, fine. There is something."

"Yeah?" Kyle urged, taking a step toward his friend. He felt the corner of the mysterious letter poking out of his pocket and looked at the back of Stan's head curiously. It couldn't have come from… Could it? There was only one way to find out.

"It's just that Wendy knows me in a way nobody else does. You know, an…_intimate _way."

"Mm hm." Kyle said, moving closer to his best friend.

"And every time I see Wendy with a guy, I think, 'What if she's talking about me?' I'd probably die, Kyle. I'm not exaggerating."

Kyle, who now stood directly behind Stan, stood on his toes and, making a careful effort not to brush up against him, sniffed casually at the other boy's neck.

"And if she told Cartman…what I'm like…you know, in bed…hell, that would be the end of… What the _hell_, dude?"

Kyle jumped as Stan spun around to face him. "I can explain!"

"Were you just _smelling_ me?"

"I had to."

"Well did I pass inspection, homo?"

"I'm _not_ gay, Stan. I just…"

"Had to know what kind of laundry detergent my mom uses to get the whites looking so bright and fresh?"

"I had to figure out whether you wrote this."

Kyle pulled the letter out of his pocket and handed it to Stan, who unfolded it apprehensively. "What is it?" he asked.

"Just read it."

"_Dear Kyle_," Stan read aloud. He looked up at his friend. "That's you."

"I managed to work that much out myself, Sherlock."

Stan blushed, realizing the pointlessness of his statement. He looked back at the letter and continued to read. "_I have so many feelings that I can never express, and this letter was the only way I could think of to get them off my chest. I still haven't quite worked out my feelings for you, but I'm pretty sure I'm in love with you—_Dude!"

"I know, dude. Keep reading."

"_I wish I could say this to your face. Believe me, I've tried countless times. I just can't bring myself to take that sort of risk. I suppose the more you have to lose, the harder it is to win. Maybe if I had just a glimmer of hope, if you gave me the tiniest sign that you could ever return my feelings, I wouldn't be so afraid to lay it all on the line. But I know this is impossible, so I'll continue to admire you from afar… _Who the hell talks like this?"

"Nobody, Stan. Nobody talks like that."

Stan looked back down at the paper, then flipped it over and checked the back of the page. "That's it. That's all it says. It's not signed or anything."

"I know that, man. I've only read the damn thing nine times since I found it in my locker."

"Dude, you have a secret admirer."

"And the weirdest part," Kyle said, "is that that letter isn't from a girl."

Stan furrowed his brow and looked over the letter once more. "How do you know?"

"Smell it, Stan. It doesn't smell like a girl."

The raven-haired boy brought the letter to his face and took a long whiff. "It smells like Kenny."

"Does it?" Kyle asked, snatching the letter away and sniffing it curiously. "You're right. That is Kenny. I knew it smelled familiar."

"That's why you were sniffing my neck?" Stan asked. "You thought _I_ was your secret admirer?"

"Well I wasn't gonna rule you out as a possibility."

"But…" Stan took the letter back from Kyle. "This can't be from Kenny, can it? I mean, Kenny's not in love with you. He can't be…"

"And if he was he definitely wouldn't say something like '_I'll continue to admire you from afar_.' That doesn't sound like him."

"No way. He'd probably say something more along the lines of, 'Hey, dude, mind if I pound your ass?'"

"That's gross, Stan."

"And he wouldn't write it in a letter. Kenny's not that big of a pussy."

"So why the hell does it _smell_ like him? I don't get it."

Stan rubbed his chin thoughtfully, pondering this situation. "Maybe you shouldn't try to figure out who it is."

"What?"

"Well, this person obviously doesn't want to be found out. Maybe you should just drop it. I mean, you obviously don't return this dude's feelings, right?"

"I told you, I'm not gay."

"Right. So nothing's gonna come of this gay secret admirer thing. I think you should just leave it alone."

Kyle took the letter from Stan and read over it one last time. "Yeah, maybe you're right."

The two boys' heads suddenly snapped in the direction of the kitchen door, when said door swung open and Cartman strolled in, holding his empty Oreo package.

"Hey ass-rammers," the fatass greeted them. "Whatcha got there?"

"None of your business," Kyle snapped, folding up the letter and shoving it back into his pocket.

"Oh, I get it. It's a secret," Cartman said, smirking. He strolled over to the trash can and dumped his empty Oreo package. "Probably a love letter from Craigy telling you all about his secret fetish for Jewfros."

Stan and Kyle exchanged glances as Cartman walked out of the kitchen.

"You don't think…" Stan whispered.

"No dude. It can't be."

Neither of them saw the satisfied smile on their fat friend's face as he closed the kitchen door behind him.

* * *

"Dude, there is no fucking way Craig wrote this," Kyle whispered, as he and his best friend stood by their lockers on Tuesday morning.

"You're right, dude. No way," Stan agreed.

"But what if…"

"No, dude. It wasn't him."

"But it wouldn't be so far-fetched for Craig to have some of Kenny's aftershave. They secretly dated for two freaking months."

"Exactly. He dated _Kenny_ for two months. He likes _Kenny_."

"Yeah. Yeah, you're right. But Kenny did say that…"

"Forget about it, Kyle. Craig didn't write that letter."

"Yeah, I know," Kyle muttered, looking over Stan's shoulder. "Oh, God. Speak of the devil."

"Wha—?" Stan spun around to see Craig Tucker walking their way. "Damnit. What do we do?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well we can't _talk_ to him."

"We can't?" Kyle asked.

"No, dude. He and Kenny just broke up. You're not supposed to talk to a friend's ex."

"Well maybe it's different if your friend's ex happens to be a dude. It's not like we're gay. We're not gonna make out with him like Cartman did with Wendy."

"Shut up, Kyle."

Craig approached them, his face impassive as usual. "Hey guys," he greeted them.

"Hey, Craig," Stan and Kyle responded in their best "We weren't just talking about you" voices.

Which evidently weren't quite believable enough, because Craig's next words were, "God, why is it lately that every time I see someone I get the feeling they were just talking about me?"

Kyle shrugged. "You're paranoid?"

Stan nodded in agreement and Craig eyed them suspiciously for a moment before shrugging, apparently accepting this answer. "Whatever. Have you guys seen Cartman? I have his biology homework."

"Yeah, I saw him earlier," Stan said. "He and Kenny were…"

"How is Kenny?" Craig cut him off, and it was clear that Craig never really cared where Cartman was to begin with.

"He's…fine," Stan replied cautiously.

"Just making sure he's not too…broken up or whatever," Craig mumbled, rubbing his sneaker on the floor nervously. "But Kenny moves pretty fast. I'm sure he's moved on by now."

"Is that why you're here?" Kyle asked. "To find out if Kenny has a new girlfriend?"

"Or boyfriend," Stan added. Craig glared at Stan, who just shrugged. "Well he is bi, after all."

Craig shook his head. "Whatever. I don't care if Kenny's sleeping with some slut. He can do whatever he wants."

"That's right," Kyle replied. "Kenny McCormick can and will do whatever and whoever he wants."

"I hate you guys," Craig muttered, turning around and walking away.

"Definitely not him," Kyle said, as the two best friends watched him leave.

"No way in hell," Stan agreed.

* * *

Biology was torture for Craig. Not because Cartman was sitting behind him, whispering very R-rated things into his ear about Kenny's many, _many_ sexual encounters. And not because Kevin was sitting beside him, shooting him curious glances every time he flipped Cartman the bird behind his back and mouthing "_Are you okay?"_ like the answer wasn't obvious. No, biology was torture for Craig because Kenny was seated a row ahead of him and a few seats to the right, combing his slender fingers through that unfathomable blond hair.

That in and of itself made Craig's stomach do back flips like a freaking Olympic gymnast. But the fact that he knew Kenny so well made it even worse. He remembered back when the two of them started hanging out, Kenny confessed to him that he only messed with his hair in class when he knew some girl was watching. He said it drove them nuts. Made them want to jump him right there in class, in front of God, the teacher, and every other student in the room. Craig knew now what he meant.

He glanced around the room, trying to figure out which girl Kenny was trying to reel in, but since six girls in the class were staring at the blond, their tongues practically falling out of their faces, it was hard to tell. He shook his head. God, he knew it was over between them, but did Kenny really have to do this right in front of him?

To Craig's great relief, Kenny very abruptly untangled his hand from his hair and planted his head in his palm, propping his skinny elbow up on his desk. There seemed to be a collective sigh from the girls in the room at that moment, but Craig could have been imagining it.

And then, as soon as the torture had ended, it started up again, as Kenny slowly and purposefully licked his lips. First the bottom, then the top. Craig felt a tingling sensation shoot up his spine. Never had he seen Kenny's lips look more edible than at that moment. He had to hold on to the edge of his seat just to keep from lunging at him right then and there. This was too much for him.

The tall boy's shoulders tensed up as the blond lifted his arms and began to stretch, feigning a yawn. The hem of his shirt crept up, revealing a thin strip of pale, lightly freckled skin.

This is what finally threw Craig over the edge, and he quickly ripped his hat off of his head and threw it in his lap to conceal the growing bulge in his jeans. And then…Kenny laughed. And that's when it dawned on Craig. Kenny could see him. That fucking jackass knew he was watching, and he was putting on this _show_ for him. To torture him.

"God, why are you such an asshole?" Craig asked, his cheeks burning with anger. The rest of the class turned to look at him curiously, but he ignored them, continuing to glare at Kenny.

The teacher just continued writing on the board, blissfully unaware as usual of what was going on in the class behind him.

Kenny turned to look at Craig, fighting a grin, but unable to hide that mischievous glint in his blue eyes. Craig flipped him off.

* * *

When the bell rang to dismiss the class, Kenny was the first person out the door. Craig stood up quickly, determined to give Kenny a piece of his mind. What had his ex been trying to do? Out him right there in class?

But before he could follow Kenny out the door, he felt a chubby hand grip his shoulder. He groaned. "What, Cartman?"

"I have an assignment for you," Cartman told him, as the room cleared out.

"I already have your list, fatass."

"This is something else," Cartman explained. "It's part of that special project."

"Right. The secret Kyle project."

"That's the one," Cartman replied, pulling a long-stemmed rose wrapped in white tissue paper from somewhere deep inside his backpack. He handed the red rose to Craig, who raised an eyebrow.

"You shouldn't have," he deadpanned.

"It's not for you, you knob-gobbler. I want you to put that in Kahl's locker during lunch."

Craig stared at the large boy. "You're not gay, Cartman."

"No shit."

"So why are you giving Kyle love letters and flowers?"

"I told you, Craig. It's a secret."

"This is a prank, right?" Craig guessed. "The whole 'fake secret admirer' gag isn't very original, Cartman. I'd expect something more diabolical from you."

"I'm not paying you to ask questions, Craig."

"You're not paying me, lard ass. You're blackmailing me."

"Well either one should be incentive to shut that cock-sucking mouth, don't you think?"

Craig couldn't argue with that logic, so he just grunted in reply.

Cartman smirked and patted Craig's shoulder, managing to be condescending even though he was a good four inches shorter than the other teen. "That's a good little fag. Shoo now."

* * *

"Dude, what's with the flower?"

"It's nothing," Craig replied, tucking the rose into his backpack.

"Is it for your girlfriend?"

"Fine. Sure. It's for my girlfriend."

"She broke up with you, didn't she?"

"Goddamnit Kev, do you have to ask so many questions?"

Kevin crossed his arms. "Well excuse me for caring. I suppose you want me to be like Token and just say, 'Fuck Craig. Who cares what's going on with him?'"

"Yeah, Kevin. I think Toke's got the right idea."

Craig gazed across the hallway at Kenny, who was talking to that same dark-haired girl Craig had seen with him the previous week. The one Craig had gotten jealous over. He wasn't any less jealous this time around. The girl was leaning in close to the blond, tucking a slip of paper into the front pocket of his parka. Kenny spotted Craig watching him and the blond shrugged sheepishly. Craig just stared at him. Kenny eyed the rose poking out of his ex-boyfriend's backpack and sent him a questioning glance. Craig shook his head and turned back to Kevin.

"There was never any freshman girlfriend, was there?"

"What?"

Kevin stared up at Craig. "Dude. That's not the first time I've caught you staring at Kenny like that."

"Like what?"

"Like you want to jump his bones."

"That's gross, Kevin."

"It's not gross. Well…it's a little gross, but I'm cool with it, Craig. I don't care if you're gay."

"I'm not gay."

"I saw what he did to you in biology."

"I'm _not_ gay."

"You don't have to lie, dude. We've been friends since preschool. I don't know why you think you have to lie to me about anything."

"Kevin, I'm not…"

"I won't tell anyone. I mean, you obviously don't want anyone to know."

Craig looked down at Kevin and bit his lip nervously. "You…promise?"

Kevin's face broke into a broad grin. "Ah, breakthrough!"

Craig rolled his eyes and grabbed his friend by the forearm. "Let's go to lunch, dude."

"So what happened with Kenny?" Kevin asked, allowing himself to be dragged to the cafeteria by his taller friend.

"Shut up, Kevin."

* * *

"Dudes, I just got three phone numbers on my way to the caf," Kenny announced, tossing two folded sheets of paper and a napkin on the center of the table before sitting down.

"What a coincidence," Kyle replied. "Cartman got two Milky Ways and a Butterfingers from Craig on his way to art this morning."

"God, fatass. You're blackmailing Craig into buying you candy? That's disgusting."

Kenny didn't seem to notice that Cartman wasn't listening to his scolding. The overweight teen had his eyes locked on someone across the cafeteria. That person was, of course, Craig. If this plan of his was going to work right, his timing had to be perfect, so it was vital that he watched Craig's every move, so he knew exactly when his blackmail victim would be making that very important trip to Kyle's locker.

"That's not all," Stan put in. "Craig's doing Cartman's biology homework too."

"Cartman, just leave Craig the fuck alone. I think he's having a hard enough time as it is."

Cartman rolled his eyes as he watched the dark-haired boy eat lunch with his friends like everything was normal. _Come on, fucking butt pirate. What the hell are you waiting for?_

"So, you gonna call any of those numbers?" Kyle asked, picking up the napkin and reading the digits scribbled across it.

"Probably not," Kenny replied, yawning.

"Why not?"

Kenny stared at Kyle as if the answer should have been obvious. "Because as soon as Craig comes out of the closet we're getting back together."

"You sound optimistic."

"Well I should. I caught him checking me out in biology today."

"But what if he never comes out?" Stan asked.

"He has to sometime, Stan."

"But maybe not in high school. I mean, some gay guys wait until they're finished with high school to come out."

"Fuck, Stan, I'm in a good fucking mood. Can you not try to bring me down?"

"Sorry, dude. It's just that I've never seen you this serious about someone. I don't like it."

"Why shouldn't I be serious about someone?"

"You're…Kenny. I mean, celibacy…waiting around for someone to work out his feelings for you… It's just not like you."

"So I should just bang every chick I can until he figures things out, is that it?"

"Ken, that's not what I…"

"You know, maybe Craig's right. Maybe this type of thing is meant to be a secret. If my own friends can't accept the way I feel, who will?"

"Kenny, we accept who you are," Kyle said. "Stan's just trying to be realistic."

"I don't need you guys to be _realistic_," Kenny replied, standing up. "I just need… I need some air."

Cartman tore his eyes away from Craig momentarily to watch his poor friend walk briskly towards the cafeteria doors. He gave Stan a look. "Why'd you have to go and say that to him, Stan? Try a little sensitivity, asswipe." He smirked as Stan gaped at him, opening his mouth and snapping it back shut when no words came out. Cartman chuckled and turned back to Craig's table, only to find that the closeted teen was no longer sitting there. "Fuck," he muttered, snatching up his carton of chocolate milk and pouring it down the front of Kyle's shirt.

"What the fuck, Cartman?" Kyle cried, jumping to his feet.

"Oops," Cartman muttered, shrugging. "Better go clean up."

* * *

"God, I hate him," Kyle muttered to his reflection as he rubbed a paper towel against his damp shirt, only succeeding in rubbing the brown stain deeper into the fabric. He sighed to himself. It was clear that this chocolate milk was not coming out. He would just have to deal with it for the remainder of the day. The stain he could live with. The cold and dampness would bother him though. He moved over to the hand dryer, kneeling down and spreading his shirt out in front of him so that it would receive full force of the warm air blasting out. He hit the button and the air kicked on, drying his stained shirt to a bearable state after four rounds. Frowning at his reflection one last time, he strolled out of the bathroom.

He started to make his way back to the cafeteria, but when he turned a corner in the hallway, he spotted someone standing at an open locker. Not just any locker. _His_ locker. Holding back a gasp, he ducked back behind the corner. He leaned against the wall, putting a palm to his chocolate milk stained chest to calm his ramming heart.

This wasn't right. It couldn't be. There had to be some other explanation for Craig Tucker being at Kyle Broflovski's locker. An explanation other than…well, what Kyle was currently thinking. But why else would Craig be at his locker? How did he know the combination anyways?

He heard his locker door slam shut and footsteps trudging down the hallway. Kyle peeked hesitantly around the corner and saw Craig disappearing down the hallway. When he was out of sight, Kyle took a deep breath and walked cautiously toward his locker. Biting his lower lip, he turned the dial. Thirty-five. Thirty-seven. Eight. _Click_. The locker door swung open, and he spotted a long-stemmed red rose lying on top of his neatly stacked text books.

Kyle reached out and picked up the rose. _Really? A flower?_ This had to be some kind of joke. I mean, it was Craig fucking Tucker. Sure, the dude was gay, but a _rose_?

Kyle shook his head. This was too much for him to take in right now. He needed to talk to Stan.

* * *

Craig stepped outside, tugging on his earflaps as the freezing air hit him on the face. He closed his eyes as he let his exposed skin grow accustomed to the biting cold.

"Hey," a familiar voice greeted him.

Craig opened his eyes and saw Kenny standing before him. Part of him was surprised to run into Kenny outside of the school during the lunch hour. The rest of him sort of knew he would be there.

"Hi," he replied. "What are you doing out here?"

"My friends are pissing me off. You?"

Craig shoved his hands into his pockets. "My friends always piss me off."

This earned a smile from Kenny. "Everyone pisses you off, Craig. Your only true friend is that stupid guinea pig of yours."

"Hey. Stripe's not stupid. Take it back."

"Fine. Your rodent isn't stupid."

"Thank you."

"Just old and ugly as fuck."

"You're a jackass, Kenny." They stood in silence for a moment, letting the cold air bite at their faces, before Craig spoke up again. "What was up with that stunt you pulled in bio today? Were you trying to fuck with my head?"

Kenny shrugged. "Just wanted your attention, I guess."

Craig grunted. "Well congratulations. It fucking worked."

"Sorry," Kenny muttered. "I wasn't trying to embarrass you or anything."

"It wasn't some trick to pull me out of the closet, was it?"

"No, Craig. God. I wouldn't do that." Kenny turned around, for some reason unable to look at Craig's face any longer. "But could you just give me an idea of how long I'm gonna have to wait for you?"

"God, Kenny, you want me to set a coming out date or something? How do I know when I'll be ready?"

"Well how do I know you'll ever be ready?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well some people are perfectly willing to hide in the closet forever."

"That's not me."

"How do you know? And how do we know how either of us are gonna feel about each other by the time you are ready?" Craig didn't reply, and Kenny spoke again. "How do I know how you feel about me now?"

Craig took a step toward Kenny, grabbing onto the smaller boy's shoulders and staring down at him until the blond met his gaze. "Kenny," he whispered. Kenny just blinked up at him. Craig licked his dry lips and stared into those blue eyes. "I love you."

Kenny stood on his toes, and for a moment, Craig thought he was going to kiss him. But Kenny's lips moved past Craig's face and straight to his ear, where the blond whispered through gritted teeth, "Then prove it." And tearing away from the taller boy, Kenny stormed back into the school building, leaving Craig alone in the cold.

Craig turned around and stared at the door. _Prove it_. That was what he'd said, but Craig knew Kenny and, he observed, his words might as well have been "I love you too." He couldn't help but smile to himself as he pulled open the door and walked back inside.

* * *

So...what did you think? Too choppy? Too much angst and not enough humor? Overly dramatic closing scene? Too many clichéd "I'll wait for you" lines? It's long compared to other chapters to compensate for not being as funny? Be honest.

More importantly, what did you think of Craig's mini-breakthrough with Stoley? Who else thinks Kevin Stoley is adorable and needs to be in the spotlight more often on the show? Oh, and that Kenny needs a bigger role on the show since he is, after all, alive again?

Please review!


	7. The Truth Is

I know I said in the beginning that I planned to make this story seven chapters long. Well, this not the last chapter. Seven chapters just wasn't gonna cut it for this story. Not with the Kyle-subplot which I had not planned on in the beginning and the coming-out-to-Stoley bit which was totally a last-minute decision. Anyways, I hope when this is all over, I won't realize that I totally messed up the structure and got this story all wrong by trying to do too much with it.

Thanks to Bialy, MaxMizuhara, and fadefade for reviewing. fadefade: You really like EVERYONE? I shall die happy now. Thank you! Bialy: I am not worthy of your delicious reviews. I hope this chapter lives up to your expectations.

I don't own South Park.

* * *

**When You Have Everything to Lose**

**Chapter 7: The Truth Is…**

"You're gonna let me copy that when you're done, right?"

Craig didn't look up from his biology assignment. "Whatever. I'm already doing Cartman's for him, so I guess it doesn't really matter."

"Why are you letting that fatass push you around?"

"Why do you ask so many questions?"

"Because your life is way more interesting than mine."

"Clearly. Why are you here anyways? No one ever comes to my house except for…" Craig's voice trailed off, and Kevin didn't push him to finish the sentence. He strolled over to the cage sitting on top of Craig's chest of drawers and peeked in at the sleeping rodent inside.

"This thing's still alive? What is he, eight years old?"

"The oldest guinea pig ever lived to be nearly fifteen," Craig replied in a monotone voice, not sure why he knew this information or how it answered Kevin's question.

"Older than your fake girlfriend," Kevin commented. "Impressive."

"Shut up, Kevin." Craig heard the doorbell ring, but was in no mood to answer it. "Dad! Door!"

"Is your dad even home?"

"Hell if I know."

Kevin bit his lip, eyeing his friend from across the room. Finally, he marched over to Craig's desk and lifted himself up onto the hard wood beside the other boy's homework. Enough small talk. It was time for the interrogation. "So… How long have you been gay?"

"Fuck off."

"Well I just found out today. You can't blame me for having a few questions."

"I thought I made it clear that I'm not talking about this."

Kevin snatched Craig's biology book away and scooted to the middle of the desk, determined to have his friend's undivided attention. "I've already figured out that you're gay," he said. "And I know that something happened with Kenny, but you still haven't told me what it was…"

"And have no intention to."

"…And I'm pretty sure Cartman knows about it somehow and is using it against you."

"Congratulations on being a perceptive little asshole, Kevin. I'm still not talking about it."

"Why not? Come on, Craig, it's not like I'm asking you to fill me in on kinky details of your one night stand with Kenny or whatever."

"It wasn't a one night stand you nosy fucking chink."

"Okay, you didn't just call me that, faggot," Kevin shot back, glaring. But his expression quickly changed from anger to realization. "Wait, it wasn't? So you two were like…?"

"Yes, Kevin. God."

"So did you two, like…?"

Kevin was interrupted by a knock on Craig's bedroom door. "Come in," Craig muttered, snatching his book back from his friend.

The door swung open and Craig's father stood there, holding an old shoe box. "That McCormick kid stopped by," he explained. "Said this was yours."

Craig grunted in reply, flipping through his book to try to find the page he'd been on, and Kevin rolled his eyes, standing up. "I'll take that."

"How come you haven't been hanging out with that kid anymore?" Mr. Tucker asked his son, holding out the box to Kevin. "You used to have him spending the night over here all the time."

Kevin raised an eyebrow at Craig, who just glared at the smaller boy. "We just stopped getting along, Dad," he mumbled.

Mr. Tucker shrugged. "Not that I'm complaining or anything. That freeloader was always eating all our food. Plus, I think he was a little gay for you."

Kevin snickered and Craig flipped him off. "Um…thanks for dropping that off, Dad. Kevin and I have homework so…"

"Kay. Pizza sound good for dinner?"

Craig nodded and his dad left, closing the door behind him. Kevin shook his head, laughing lightly. "Something tells me there wasn't much _sleeping_ going on during those _sleepovers_ of yours."

"Shut up, Kevin."

"I'm opening this," Kevin warned, lifting the lid of the shoebox in his hands. "If there's a vibrator or something in here I'm kicking your faggot ass."

Kevin rummaged through the box for a few minutes before Craig finally looked up from his homework and asked, "What's in it?"

"A t-shirt, a toothbrush, a mixed CD and…I think this is a clay zebra."

"It's a _deer_, you retard," Craig mumbled, sounding slightly offended. "Kenny likes hunting."

"Did you _make_ this? Aw, Craig. How incredibly sentimental and…lame of you."

"It's just a stupid piece of junk I made in art class."

"Well you're a shitty artist."

"Whatever, dude. Give me the t-shirt. You can throw the rest of that crap away."

Kevin held up the CD. "What's on here?"

Craig shrugged. "Just some songs I threw together for Kenny."

"Can we listen to it?" Kevin asked, opening the case.

Craig tapped his pencil against his biology book irritably. "Listen, the guys are meeting at Tweek's right now, aren't they? You can go join them. I'll just let you copy this in the morning."

"You want to be left alone. I get it."

"Throw that junk away on your way out."

"You got it," Kevin replied, tossing Craig the t-shirt before heading out his friend's bedroom door. He eyed the CD curiously as he walked through the living room, out the front door, and down Craig's driveway. When he reached the end of the driveway, he returned the CD to the box and lifted the lid of the metal trashcan, dropping the shoe box and its contents inside.

"What's that?"

Kevin looked up, surprised to see Cartman standing in front of him. "Just some stuff Craig wanted me to throw away for him."

"Is Tucker home?" Cartman asked, nodding toward the house.

"Yeah."

"He done with that biology assignment yet?"

"He's working on it now."

"Oh… I'll just get it from him tomorrow then."

Kevin eyed the large boy suspiciously. "You do that."

"Right. Well, bye," Cartman muttered, turning around and walking away. Kevin shrugged as he turned and departed in the opposite direction as the fat teenager.

Cartman walked for a couple of minutes before turning his head around to see Kevin turn the corner at the end of the block. Glancing around to make sure no one was watching, he jogged back to Craig's trashcan and lifted the metal lid.

* * *

"There you are, Kenny," Kyle said, when his front door opened and his blond-haired friend walked in. "What took you so long?"

"I had to drop something off at Craig's," Kenny answered, strolling over to the couch and planting himself on the middle cushion between Kyle and Stan. "So what's going on? What's the big emergency?"

Kyle and Stan exchanged nervous glances before Kyle pulled a worn-out sheet of white paper from the back pocket of his jeans. "I found this in my locker yesterday."

Kenny took the paper from his friend and read the letter silently, laughing to himself at a few parts, before looking back up at Kyle. "While this letter is amusing and somewhat desperate, I don't see how you having a secret admirer qualifies as an emergency."

"It…smells like you," Stan told him hesitantly.

Kenny raised his eyebrows. "You think _I_ wrote this. Come on, you guys. If I wanted Kyle this badly I think I'd have him by now."

"I'm not gay!"

"Whatever, dude. The point is, I didn't write this gay-ass love letter."

"We know you didn't," Stan replied.

"Then why did you…?"

"That's not all I found in my locker," Kyle cut him off. Kenny stared and Kyle and waited. Kyle sighed and pulled the tissue paper-wrapped red rose from his backpack that lay at his feet. "I got this today."

"Your secret admirer sent you a flower? Well that's…lame. Dude, your secret admirer is weird. Are you looking for my opinion or something? Because the answer is no, I wouldn't sleep with this person."

"You already have," Stan muttered.

"Come again?"

Kyle bit his lip. "Kenny, I… I saw Craig put this in my locker."

"Craig," Kenny repeated, his expression unreadable.

"Yeah."

"Craig put that rose in your locker?"

"Yeah."

Kyle and Stan watched as Kenny took a deep breath, then buried his face in his hands. Stan shot Kyle a worried glance before placing a hand on Kenny's trembling shoulder. Kenny shook in silence for a moment while Stan patted his back awkwardly. After a while, the blond pulled his hands away from his face to reveal watering eyes and mouth spread into a…grin? Stan pulled his hand away. "Dude, are you laughing?"

"I'm sorry," Kenny gasped between intermittent fits of laughter. "You guys…are so…stupid."

"What? No we're not."

Kenny held his aching sides as he caught his breath. "You think _Craig_ wrote that letter to Kyle? Are you out of your fucking minds? I mean…are you aware of how ridiculous that is?"

"Hey now," Kyle said, offended. "You said yourself I'm not totally unappealing."

"Okay, first of all, Craig had _me_. I'm not trying to sound cocky or anything, but there's a huge gap on the hotness scale between 'not totally unappealing' and 'Kenny McCormick'." Kyle crossed his arms huffily as Kenny continued. "And secondly, I've gotten enough notes from Craig over the past two months to know that _this_," he picked up the letter that sat in his lap, "is not from him. He'd never use words like, '_glimmer of hope_'. That's the cheesiest bullshit I've ever read."

"But I _saw_ Craig at my locker today before I found this rose," Kyle insisted.

"I don't doubt that," Kenny replied. "I saw the thing in Craig's bag today and thought it was pretty weird. But, dude…that doesn't mean he _likes_ you."

"So you're saying it's a joke or something?" Stan asked.

"Not necessarily. It's definitely possible that some whiny sap is in love with Kyle. Maybe they just paid Craig to deliver the rose."

"Why does the letter smell like you then?" Stan countered.

"It's not my freaking signature scent, Stan. The smell only proves it's from a dude. He probably bought the aftershave at a drugstore like all the other _thousands_ of guys who wear the exact same stuff."

Stan frowned, mentally kicking himself for not thinking of this himself. "Well now I feel like an idiot."

"Rightly so, Marsh, because you are one."

Kyle sighed, shaking his head. "And we rehearsed this whole conversation. We thought you'd be upset."

Kenny laughed. "If this mystery-admirer-stalker-person gives you something that looks like it could _actually _be from Craig, _then_ we'll see if I'm upset."

"God," Kyle muttered. "I can't believe I really thought _Craig_ was my secret admirer."

Kenny chuckled. "If only Cartman knew about this gay secret admirer thing. He'd laugh his fucking ass off."

* * *

"Dude, does caffeine even do anything for you anymore?" Token asked.

Tweek twitched. "Not really. But if I don't have some every few hours I get a migraine. And my hands start shaking. And once I went for two days without coffee and I kept thinking there was someone in my closet." He gulped down the contents of his mug. "You sure you don't want any?"

Token wrinkled his nose. "No thanks, man. Your dad's coffee is what makes you crazy."

"I'm not crazy."

"Besides, it tastes like crap."

"Suit yourself," Tweek mumbled, pouring himself another cup. He looked across the table. "How about you two?"

Token rolled his eyes at Clyde, who was currently tangled up with his girlfriend in the booth across from them, trying to eat her face off from the looks of it. "I think they're good, Tweek." He glanced around the empty coffee shop. "Dude, this place is _barren_. In fact, I never see any customers in here. How is your family not as poor as Kenny's?"

"His mom whores herself around town on the weekends," a fifth teenager replied, sliding into the booth beside Clyde and Bebe.

"Fuck you, Kevin!"

"Where have you been?" Token asked.

"Playing tennis," Kevin replied simply. It was a stupid response, the first thing that popped into his head, but he knew it didn't really matter how he answered as long as he said it like it was true.

Token wouldn't have had the chance to question it even if he had actually cared where Kevin had been, because at that moment, Bebe let out a shrill giggle, and the guys looked over to see Clyde whispering something to her as he nibbled at her earlobe.

Tweek scowled. "Get a room."

Clyde laughed into Bebe's ear. "He wants us to get a room. Whose should we use, his or his parents'?"

"Gah!" Tweek cried. "That's not what I meant!"

"Tweek's right, dude," Kevin said to Clyde. "No one wants to see that. You guys are always making out in here. It's probably why this place never has any customers."

"That," Token put in, "and the coffee tastes like ass."

"You're an asshole, Token," Tweek muttered, his eye twitching as he took another sip of his coffee.

Bebe pulled herself off of Clyde's lap and looked around the table at the guys. "Speaking of assholes," she said, "where's Craig?"

"Don't know," Clyde responded.

"Don't care," Token added.

"Probably doing homework," Kevin supplied.

"He keeps to himself a lot lately, doesn't he?" Bebe asked. "He really ought to be a little more social. He could be popular if he wanted to. If you ignore the braces, Craig is pretty cute. I mean, he's so tall, and his ass…"

"Hey, hey," Clyde cut her off. "Can't you wait 'til I leave to take a piss or something before you start swooning over Craig's ass."

"I don't think Craig cares about being popular," Token told the girl.

"Heidi likes him, you know," Bebe went on. "You guys should let me set them up. They'd be cute together."

"He doesn't want to be set up," Clyde told his girlfriend. "He's already dating a…"

"Clyde!" Token cut him off sharply. "That's a secret, remember?"

"A secret?" Bebe asked, looking intrigued. "Ooh, fun. I want in."

"A _secret_," Token emphasized, staring pointedly at Clyde. "As in, not for your loud-mouth girlfriend to know."

"Hey!"

"No offense, babe," Clyde said, kissing Bebe's neck softly, "but they're right. It's not my secret to tell."

"You wouldn't really want to know anyways," Token consoled the sulking female.

"Yeah," Tweek put in. "You couldn't handle the truth."

Kevin just shook his head, laughing to himself.

* * *

Craig scrawled the name _Eric Cartman_ on the top of the biology assignment before tearing the page from his notebook to shake off the eraser shavings. "Done," he mumbled, reminding himself that Cartman could be doing something much worse to him than forcing him to do his biology homework. He spun around in his desk chair and sighed as he stared at his empty bedroom. He regretted sending Kevin away. Sure, the kid was annoying as hell, but Kevin's company was better than no company at all.

His friend had taken that afternoon's confession surprisingly well. Of course, Kevin had all but forced the confession out of him, but he still had to admit that Kenny could be right. Maybe his friends knowing the truth wouldn't be so bad.

Then again, it was only Kevin. Kevin was tiny and harmless. Like a kitten, but without the claws. The rest of his friends might react differently.

"Craig! Pizza!"

Craig jumped, startled by his father's voice. His stomach rumbled. Had he been so deep in thought that he didn't even realize how hungry he was? Turning back to his desk briefly to close his biology book, he stood and left the room.

"Hey, Dad," Craig greeted his father, taking a seat next to him on the couch and taking a slice of pizza from the open box on the coffee table. Mr. Tucker nodded in reply, chewing purposefully. They were men of few words. "Closed up", as Token would say. Which was, Craig suspected, the reason his mother left his father four years earlier. Maybe it was genetic. Maybe the men in his family were doomed to be alone.

Or maybe Craig could change that.

"Hey dad?" he said, after swallowing the first bite of his pepperoni slice.

His dad turned to look at him. "Hm?"

"I've been thinking about what you said earlier. About my friend Kenny."

"It was true. He is a freeloader. I mean, I know the kid's poor, but…"

"Not that," Craig cut him off. "The other part. About Kenny being gay."

Craig's dad took another bite. "What about it?" he asked around a mouthful of melted cheese.

Craig chose his words wisely. "Well, what if he was? Would you not want me to hang out with him?"

Mr. Tucker shrugged. "I don't care if your friend is gay, Craig. You can hang out with whoever you want." He thought for a moment before adding, "As long as they're not on drugs."

"Well that's good," Craig said, licking his lips nervously. "Because he is. Gay, I mean. Not on drugs."

"I thought so."

Craig took a deep breath. "Dad?"

"Yeah?"

"What if I was?"

"What if you were gay?"

Craig nodded. "Would you be mad?"

Mr. Tucker didn't say anything. Instead, he placed his half-eaten slice of pizza back in the box and pulled his son into a long embrace.

The last time Craig could remember his father hugging him was at his eighth grade graduation. It had been awkward then and it was awkward now. It was all tense shoulders, bumping elbows, and pained grimaces as not knowing what exactly to do with their heads. He knew what kind of effort his father had to put forth to make this kind of gesture, but Craig was thankful when it was over.

"Did you know all along?" Craig asked when they finally pulled apart.

"I figured it out watching you with that friend of yours."

"And you're not upset?"

"Why should I be upset?" his father replied. "But…that Stoley kid…he isn't…"

"No, Dad. _God_, no."

"Good," Mr. Tucker sighed. "He's too fucking short for you."

"Kevin's too fucking annoying, Dad."

"And your other friends? Token, Tweek, Clyde…"

"Straight as arrows."

"So…Kenny McCormick, huh?"

Craig nodded. "Kenny McCormick."

"Well, it's not exactly what I imagined for my son as I watched him grow up, but…it's not a terrible match."

Craig smiled, diving back into their forgotten pizza. "I didn't think so either."

"So, um, when he slept over…"

"_Dad_."

Mr. Tucker backed off. "You're right. You're right. I probably don't want to know."

* * *

"_And I would say…it's hard for me to feel this way about anyone…so I just came to see… So think about it…before you move your lips to say anything… How do you feel about me?_"

Cartman tapped his foot to the slow music that played from the CD player at his side. He'd never heard anything on the disk before, but he was pleasantly surprised with Craig's taste. It was nothing like the stuff he normally listened to, mostly sappy love songs that he'd probably chosen with Kenny in mind, but he liked it nonetheless. He was a little surprised that he could like anything that Craig liked, especially the song that was currently playing, which happened to be particularly slow. When this blackmailing-Craig ordeal was all over, which would be soon if all went according to plan, he'd be sure to tell the homo that he had some gay-ass taste in music.

He had already discarded the other items from the shoebox. They sat at the bottom of a plastic waste basket beside his couch. Because while the ugly-ass hunk of clay was amusing, it was not useful to him, and keeping someone else's toothbrush would just be gross.

Cartman looked up when he heard the knob turning on his front door. He hit the stop button on his CD player just as the door swung open to reveal Kenny standing on his porch.

"Hey, Cartman," Kenny greeted him, welcoming himself into his friend's heated living room. "It's fucking freezing out there."

"Jesus, Kenny. I know that children raised in poverty aren't taught any manners, but don't you know to knock before just letting yourself into another person's house?"

"You never knock on my door when you come over," Kenny pointed out.

"Because your door falls off its hinges if you hit it too hard."

"Only because you decided to kick my door in when we were thirteen because I refused to 'respect your authori-tah' and my parents couldn't afford to fix it properly. Anyways, friends don't need to knock."

Cartman rolled his eyes. "Well don't just stand there checking out my physique, Kenny. Sit down."

Kenny crossed the room to take a seat on Cartman's couch and sighed. "Dude, it has been a _long_ day."

"Oh? I didn't realize acting like a cock-tease for Craig in biology was such excruciating work."

"I talked to Craig today," Kenny replied.

"Oh, god," Cartman muttered. "And now you want to _talk_ about it? Is this why you came over?" Kenny nodded and Cartman groaned. "Can't you talk to Stan and Kahl? They know more about fag stuff than I do."

"I was gonna talk to them at Kyle's today but…well, I realized that they're both morons."

"Bout time you figured that out."

"I just need your opinion on something."

"You don't need help finding something to wear, do you? Because I'm pretty sure I'm not the right person to tell you which pair of skinny jeans is best suited to make Craig's hard-on quiver. Kahl's a homo. I think he'd be your go-to guy for that sort of thing."

"Cartman, I'm being serious."

"Okay, okay. What's up?"

"I need to know whether I did the right thing, breaking up with Craig."

"And you're coming to me for this?"

"I know your moral compass doesn't exactly point due north, but…I know if I asked Stan and Kyle they'd both just tell me what I want to hear. I want the truth. Even if it's from you."

"You want the truth? From me? The most homophobic asshole you know."

"Look, pretend for a minute that we're not talking about two guys here. Think of Craig and me as just two people who broke up."

Cartman sighed. "Okay…well…were you happy with Craig?"

"Yeah. Or, mostly. You know, aside from the keeping-it-a-secret part."

"And was Craig happy?"

"I…I think so."

"So you were both happy before. For the most part. And now…"

"Neither of us is," Kenny finished sadly.

"It seems kind of selfish to me," Cartman concluded.

"But it was selfish of _him_ to make me keep it a secret. Acting like a jerk when his friends were around and hiding me under his desk when his dad came home early. I _hated_ the way that made me feel."

"But did you ever think about how he felt?"

"Oh, you're one to talk about seeing things from other people's point of view."

"You wanted my opinion, Kenny."

Kenny crossed his arms. "Go on."

"The dude's obviously freaked out at the idea of people knowing he's gay, and…well you kind of gave him a crappy ultimatum, Ken."

"It wasn't a crappy ultimatum! Me or his fucking pride. I thought the choice would be pretty fucking obvious."

"You think that's how he saw it? He had to either tell the world the most personal thing about himself or be alone."

Kenny swallowed hard, his expression softening. "And he chose to be alone."

Cartman nodded.

"Shit, now I feel bad for him. I mean, he's alone and he's being blackmailed by you, but he's still too scared to come out of the closet. He must really be afraid of what people think."

"Which doesn't make a lot of sense to me. I mean, it's Craig. People hate him already, so what does he have to be afraid of?"

"People don't hate Craig."

"Yes they do. He's an asshole."

"No, Cartman. _You're_ an asshole." Cartman shrugged in response and Kenny sighed. "You know, he told me he loved me today."

"Shit, Kenny."

"Stan and Kyle would have told me I did the right thing. But now I think… Trying to get someone to come out of the closet before they're ready is kind of a shitty thing to do, isn't it?"

"Sounds pretty shitty to me."

Kenny smiled up at Cartman. "Thanks, Eric. You know, as hard as you try not to be, you're a good friend."

Cartman rolled his eyes. "Just don't tell Stan and Kahl."

"Your secret's safe with me," Kenny promised, standing up. "I should go home. Thanks again."

"Don't get used to it!" Cartman shouted after him as Kenny headed out the front door.

The overweight teen frowned deeply as his impoverished friend shut the door behind him. He leaned back on the couch and tilted his head to look at the CD player beside him. Sighing, he opened it and pulled out the mixed CD. Squeezing his eyes closed, he brought the CD to a wastebasket that sat beside the couch. He licked his lips as the hand holding the CD hovered above the wastebasket for a few moments. Then, he jerked his hand back and returned the mixed CD to its plastic case, snapping it closed before sliding it into his backpack.

* * *

So, I kind of beat myself up over deciding what song lyrics to use for Craig's mix CD, and I'm still not sure I made the right choice. Honestly, I have no idea what type of music Craig would listen to, so I chose a song that A) reminded me of Crenny in this story and B) was not easily recognizable, so readers would not be turned off to this story by a song they really hated. The song I chose is "Before You Move Your Lips" by Zach Berkman.

Anyways, thanks for reading. Review?


	8. Two Can Play at That Game

I wasn't planning on posting this so soon, but I have it all written and I'm just not patient enough to wait any longer. Bialy, I blame you, because after I read your review I was like, "I need to post the next chapter NOW!" So here it is, chapter 8. Thanks RandomGhostie, MazMizuhara, xXNotBrokenXx, Colorado Love, fadefade, and Bialy for reviewing chapter 7.

I don't own South Park. R&R

* * *

**When You Have Everything to Lose**

**Chapter 8: Two Can Play At That Game**

"Your homework," Craig said, handing Cartman a neatly-written biology assignment.

"Why thank you, Craigery," Cartman replied, taking the paper from Craig.

Craig stared at Cartman, straight-faced. "Craig's not short for 'Craigery'. It's not short for anything. It's just 'Craig'."

Cartman wrinkled his forehead. "Are you sure?"

"I'm sure, Cartman."

"Are you HIV positive?"

"Cartman…"

"Then why does 'Craigery' sound so natural?" Craig raised his eyebrows slightly at the larger boy, who shrugged, dismissing his own question. "Whatever. I have something for you to deliver to Kahl."

"Again?" Craig asked, taking the brown package Cartman was handing to him. "Let me guess, you're not gonna tell me what's in here or how you're using it to destroy Broflovski's life?"

"That would just ruin my fun."

"Of course it would."

"By the way, I'm feeling like tacos for lunch today."

"Of course you are."

"And not crappy tacos either. I don't care how you get them, just as long as I have them by lunch."

"You are my master and I live to serve you."

"That's the spirit, Craigery."

Craig rolled his eyes. "Whatever, Cartman. If that's all, I need to go find Stoley now."

"Actually, Craig," Cartman said, grabbing the taller boy by the shoulder as he turned to leave. "There's one more thing."

Craig turned back to Cartman, looking slightly annoyed. "Let me guess. You want me to smuggle in a can of my dad's Budweiser to wash down those tacos."

"Excellent guess, but no. It's about Kenny."

Cartman had Craig's full attention now. "What about Kenny?"

"Look, you know I think this whole gay thing is revolting and that you two will probably go to hell for it…"

"You've made your views quite clear."

"But since Kenny's kind of my friend, I guess that means I'm supposed to want him to be happy or whatever."

"Well that was…almost heartfelt."

"All I'm asking is that you don't act like such a dick to him this time around."

Craig's eyebrows shot up. "This time around?"

"Well, I mean, if Kenny for some reason decides to give you another chance…"

"Did he _say_ something to you?"

"…you have to treat him like a fucking princess or whatever. Kay? Not like a slut, because…"

"What did he say?"

"…I don't want to have to 'cheer him up' again by getting him drunk and basically letting him feel up Stan."

"Hold up. He did _what_ to _who_?"

"So don't fuck this up, or I'll fuck you up. Clear?"

"Is Kenny into Stan?"

"I _said_, are we clear?"

Craig blinked. "Crystal."

"Good."

"Kenny really got drunk and made a move on Stan?"

Cartman shrugged. "Nothing over the top. You know, just planting his face in his hair and a little feeling-up through the shirt."

"Wait, whose face was in whose hair?"

Cartman smirked. "Jealous boyfriend, much? Why does it matter?"

Craig growled in frustration. "Cartman, will you just answer my…?"

"Hey, Craig."

The tall boy groaned at the interruption, turning to face the intruder. "What do you want, Kevin?"

"You said you'd let me copy your biology homework."

"Yeah, fine. Just a minute. I just have to…" Craig's voice trailed off as he turned back to Cartman, only to find that the chubby teen had already taken off. He sighed. "Kevin, _goddamnit_."

* * *

"You seem anxious about something," Stan observed, as he walked with Kenny and Kyle to lunch.

"Me?" Kenny asked.

"Yeah, you. What's up?"

"I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say this has something to do with Craig," muttered Kyle, who was walking in front of his two friends.

"Yeah, kinda," Kenny admitted.

Stan raised an eyebrow. "You're not thinking about taking him back, are you?"

"Yeah, kinda."

"_Kenny_."

"What?"

Stan stopped in his tracks, grabbing his friend by the shoulder and shaking him slightly. "Do you not remember what you said to us on Saturday night?"

Kyle turned around to face his two friends. "He might not, Stan. He did pass out a few minutes later."

"I remember, you guys," Kenny replied. "And yeah, maybe keeping a secret like that wasn't my cup of tea, but I think I'm willing to make a sacrifice."

"_He's_ the one who should be making sacrifices after that. Not you."

"And what makes you think so?"

"_He's_ the one who dissed you in front of his friends. Who's to say he won't do it again as soon as you go crawling back to him?"

Kenny crossed arms. "I wasn't planning on crawling, actually."

"Kenny, you were right when you decided to wait until he comes out," Stan told him. "Craig was wrong to make you keep yourself a secret like that."

"So I should just force Craig to tell everyone something about himself that's none of their fucking business to begin with? How is that fair?"

"God, Ken," Kyle muttered. "Where is this coming from? Just yesterday you were adamant about being out in the open. Now you're just gonna…give in?"

"I'm just trying to look at this from Craig's point of view."

"Oh?" Stan replied. "And is Craig trying to look at this from your point of view?"

Kenny rolled his eyes. "See, I knew you two would be against this. I told Cartman you'd say I was right to…"

"You talked to _Cartman_?" Kyle cut him off.

"I needed an _objective_ opinion. From someone who doesn't try to mother me the way you two do."

"We don't try to mother you," Kyle defended himself and Stan. But the next words that left Stan's mouth did not help their case any.

"Kenneth James McCormick, I forbid you to do this to yourself again."

Kenny shot Kyle a pointed glare. "You see?"

"Stan," Kyle said, crossing his arms. "We may not approve of this, but we have to let Kenny make his own choices."

"Do you hear yourselves?" Kenny cried. "If my real parents paid any attention to my life, I'm pretty sure that's what they would sound like. Look, this is my problem. Let me deal with it."

Kyle sighed. "Let's just go to lunch, okay? I wanna check my locker on the way."

Kenny rolled his eyes. "Yeah, let's go."

Stan pointed a finger at Kenny. "This conversation is not over, young man. We'll talk about this later."

Kenny jogged to catch up with Kyle, more to show Stan that he would no longer listen to any nagging than because he was eager to get to lunch. Stan sighed and trudged behind his two friends.

They reached Kyle's locker and the redhead spun the dial. "I might have my combination changed," he told Kenny and Stan, swinging the door open. He groaned as he pulled out a brown paper package and held it up to show his friends. "Got another one."

"Well?" Stan urged. "Open it."

Kyle obeyed, ripping the paper to reveal a scratched-up looking CD in a clear plastic case.

Kenny eyed the object. "What the hell?" he muttered, snatching the disk away from Kyle.

"What's wrong?" Kyle asked, not bothering to try and grab the CD back from his friend.

"I don't know. Yet," Kenny replied, turning around and walking in the opposite direction of the cafeteria. "Computer lab," he explained, and his friends followed.

They reached the empty lab and Kenny marched purposefully to the nearest computer, sliding the CD into the disk drive.

"It's probably just a bunch of cheesy love songs," Stan predicted. "That seems to be the pattern anyways. Cheesy love letter…cheesy flower…"

"Shh!" Kenny hushed him, going straight to track six on the mixed CD.

A male voice filled the room, accompanied by the soft tinkling of piano music. "_If I held you while you were sleeping…like you would never ever leave…would you stay with me until the evening…until the sun sets on you and me?_"

Kenny's face contorted into a pained grimace. "Fuck," he breathed. Stan and Kyle watched him curiously.

"_It was a passing chance, our meeting… One night we won the lottery… A night when daring triumphed reason… I had to chase your mystery… And I would say… it's hard for me to feel this way about anyone…_"

"Kenny?" Stan whispered, hesitantly. "What's wrong?"

Kenny stared at the glowing computer screen for a long moment before responding. "This song…"

"You…know this song?" Kyle guessed.

Kenny nodded. "Yeah. I know it."

"And this CD…?"

"_I know it's new, but this is real…and I'm afraid of what I feel… It'd be so easy to conceal the things I know_…"

"…is recycled," Kenny muttered. "Not just recycled. _Returned_. Because I was feeling melodramatic over some stupid fight I had with Craig yesterday, and I returned every fucking thing I found in my house that was his. Which wasn't a lot of stuff, by the way. Just, like, a smelly old t-shirt and other crap like that, not sissy flowers and shit. And I thought Craig would just throw the stuff away, not fucking _reuse_ them on _Kyle_."

"Kenny," Kyle said, stepping toward the boy. "There has to be some explanation other than…"

"I _know_ that, Kyle," Kenny snapped. "I'm not stupid. Craig's not fucking in love with you."

"Then why…?" Stan muttered, letting his voice trail off.

"…_and this is not a simple answer I am bound to understand… It's just I shuttered when I kissed you…and I trembled in your hands… And I would say… It's hard for me to feel this way about anyone… So I just came to see…_"

Kenny sighed. "I don't know."

"…_So think about it…before you move your lips to say anything… How do you feel about me?_"

Kenny let out a frustrated growl as he ejected the CD and jerked the disk gruffly from the drive. "He's messing with me," he concluded, staring at the disk in his hand. "It's the only explanation. He's trying to get me all worked up. To get back at me."

"Get back at you for what?" Kyle asked.

"For dumping his sorry ass? I don't know."

Stan eyed his friend nervously. "So are you still thinking about taking him back?"

Kenny took a deep breath. Then, closing his eyes, he took the mixed CD in both hands and snapped it in two. He slowly let out the breath he'd been holding and calmly disposed of the broken disk in a nearby trash can. "That's that," he said, smiling slightly and looking up at his two friends. "Stan, can I borrow your English homework?"

* * *

"So…you told your dad?"

"Yeah."

"And?"

"And…he was cool about it," Craig replied in a hushed voice.

Kevin grinned. "So when are you gonna tell these morons?"

Craig looked around the table at his three other friends. Clyde and Token were aiming Cheesy Poofs at Tweek's steaming thermos of coffee and cheering loudly for themselves whenever one of them made it in. Tweek was glaring at them and attempting to block their shots. Craig turned back to Kevin. "One step at a time, my friend."

"What are you two whispering about over there?" Clyde inquired, dropping his Cheesy Poof and looking up at Craig and Kevin.

"We're not," Craig replied.

"Why do you always deny doing things that you're clearly doing?" Token asked. Craig replied by flipping Token the bird, and Token glared at him. "Don't flip me off, Craig."

"I didn't."

Token narrowed his eyes. "Does it hurt to be that stupid?"

Craig popped a grape into his mouth. "No it does not."

"You never answered my question," Clyde reminded him. "What were you two whispering about?"

"None of your business," Craig replied.

Clyde rolled his eyes. "You've gotta stop being so secretive, Craig. It'll blow up in your face."

Craig shrugged.

"Clyde's only saying that because—gah!—he almost spilled the beans about your girlfriend yesterday."

Craig blinked. "My girlfriend?"

"Yeah," Kevin said, nudging Craig. "You know, you're freshman girlfriend."

"Oh," Craig muttered. "Right. That girlfriend."

Clyde rolled his eyes. "Yeah, that girlfriend. How many girlfriends do you have, asshole?"

Craig took a sip of his milk. "I don't get why you guys are so interested in my life."

Token raised his hand. "I'm not interested in your life."

"That's the spirit," Craig deadpanned. "You guys all need to be more like Token."

"I've been trying to convince them of that for years," Token retorted.

"Craig," Clyde said. "We show an interest in your life because we're your friends. You may be a total dipshit, but we care about you, man."

"Thanks?"

"That's right," Token declared. "Clyde here, for example, cares about you so much, that he came this close…" The teenager held his thumb and index finger millimeters apart. "…to telling his gossipy, airheaded girlfriend that you're banging a fourteen-year-old."

"_What_?" cried a female voice from behind him.

Token turned around. "_Goddamnit_!"

* * *

"Thanks for ditching me at lunch, you guys," Cartman grumbled, walking with Stan and Kenny to English. "I hope you enjoyed your threesome with Kahl in the janitor's closet while I was stuck eating lunch with Butters."

"As fun as that sounds," Kenny replied, placing a hand on Cartman's shoulder, "that's _not_ what we were doing."

"Yeah? What were you fags doing then?"

"Not that I'm not totally thrilled by the idea of a threesome," Kenny went on. "But Kyle refused to participate unless we invited you, so Stan and I just…"

"God, Kenny," Stan cut him off. "I'm fine with you being gay, but leave me out of your creepy fantasies."

"I don't doubt that Kahl's hot for my bod," Cartman said.

"Kyle's not gay," Stan replied, rolling his eyes.

"He could be," Kenny responded.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Well, Craig told me once that there's one other gay guy in our class," Kenny explained. "But he never told me who."

"How would he know that?" Stan asked, rolling his eyes.

"Duh, Stan," Cartman replied. "Gaydar. Gay people have gay radars in their noses. They can sniff out other gay guys."

"They do not."

"Craig does," Kenny declared. "Well, he doesn't _smell_ them. But he does know. It's a gift."

"I don't believe it."

"I didn't either at first."

"Fine. But even so, that doesn't make Kyle gay. I mean, there are lots of guys in our class. It could be anyone. Like…Butters."

"Nah, it's not Butters. I asked."

"It's definitely Kahl."

"Kyle's _not_ gay," Stan defended his best friend.

"Well, we can rule out Token," Cartman responded. "Since he's banging your ex-girlfriend."

"Shut up, Cartman."

"And I made out with her, so we know it's not me."

"_Shut up_, Cartman."

"Maybe it's Stoley," Cartman suggested. "He's been pretty chummy with Craig lately."

"Shut up, Cartman." The response was from Kenny this time.

"Come to think of it, I saw Kevin leaving Craig's house yesterday."

"What were _you_ doing at Craig's house?" Kenny inquired.

"Wha—I was just getting my biology homework from him," Cartman explained hastily.

"And you saw Kevin there?" Kenny asked. He bit his lip. "You think he and Craig are—?"

"Kevin's not gay," a fourth teenager responded, sidling up to Kenny. "Guess again."

Stan glared daggers at Craig. "What do _you_ want?"

"To talk to Kenny," Craig replied, seizing the blond by the wrist. "Ken?"

Stan and Cartman stared at Kenny, who looked from the two of them to Craig before sighing and waving at his friends. "You guys go on. I'll be fine."

Stan and Cartman backed off, but did not go to class, electing to watch Kenny and Craig from a distance.

Craig glanced around nervously, as the students around them filed to class. "Can we maybe go somewhere more private?"

"No," Kenny said simply, crossing his arms. "Make this quick; I have English."

Craig bit his lip. "I…" He lowered his voice. "I came out to my dad."

This information did not seem to impress Kenny. "Is that all?"

"Well…no. Kevin too."

Kenny merely shrugged.

Craig frowned. "Look, I know it's not much, but it's a start, right?"

"Sure. It's a start."

Craig sighed. "But you're not gonna change your mind yet?" Kenny's face answered his question. The black-haired boy furrowed his brow angrily. "You're being stubborn, Kenny. I don't think you get how hard this is for me."

"Oh, it's hard for you?" Kenny replied, too angry to make a perverted comment on the double meaning of his words. "Because from where I'm standing it looks like this is some kind of joke to you."

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

"You're a smart boy, Craig. Figure it out. I have to get to class now."

Kenny turned around, only to be met by another suitor. He jumped, startled by the girl.

"Sorry," she apologized. "I didn't mean to scare you."

"C-Claudia," he stammered, glancing nervously back at Craig.

"Hi, Kenny," she greeted him, smiling.

"Claudia," he said again. "Have you met my friend Craig?"

Claudia looked up at Craig. "Oh, yeah. You're the guy who likes freshman girls."

"Huh?"

Craig rolled his eyes. "News travels fast around here. Thank you Bebe Stevens."

"Huh?" Kenny repeated.

Claudia looked back at Kenny. "I gave you my number yesterday, but you didn't call me," she told him, grabbing his hands and pouting playfully.

"Um…yeah," Kenny replied. "My dad didn't pay the phone bill."

"Well, we should go out some time," the girl said, lacing her fingers with Kenny's as Craig watched them through narrowed eyes and Stan and Cartman watched in deep interest from down the hall.

"Um…okay," Kenny agreed.

"When?" Claudia asked, beaming up at him.

Kenny glanced at Craig before smirking and letting go of Claudia's hand in order to slide his arm around her waist. "How about right now?"

"You mean ditch class?"

"You got a car?"

"I drove my dad's Mustang today."

"Perfect," Kenny replied, ushering her down the hallway toward the front doors.

Craig just watched them leave, dumbstruck.

"Kenny, where do you think you're going?" Stan called after his friend.

"The fuck, Kenny?" Cartman bellowed.

"Hey, what about English?" Stan shouted. He cursed under his breath. "Damnit, he has my homework again."

* * *

Kenny's hands explored the girl's body as he kissed her, pushing her roughly against the hood of the blue Mustang. She was eager to please, laying back on the hood and pulling him down with her. He climbed on top of her, moving his hands to her slender shoulders.

She allowed him to explore her mouth with his tongue for a few minutes. He was surprised, at first, at the feeling of her smooth, bare teeth. He knew she didn't wear braces, but he'd half expected to feel them there anyways.

She broke away from the kiss quite suddenly, uttering a sharp, "_Kenny_!"

"What's wrong?" he asked, trying to dive back into her mouth.

"I'm a _girl_," she replied, shoving him away. "Not a barbell. That fucking hurts."

"S-sorry," he stammered, releasing his grip on her shoulders. Honestly, he hadn't realized how hard he'd been squeezing.

"It's okay," she replied, not looking so sure. "Are you usually this rough with girls?"

"No," he assured her. "Never. I…wasn't thinking."

How long had it been since he'd been with a girl? At least two months.

Hesitantly, she pulled him back into the kiss, and this time, he allowed her tongue entrance into his mouth. It wasn't usually his style, but he'd allow her dominance for a while. At least until he got used to the fact that she was a girl and not—No. He would not think about Craig. Not now. Not when he was on the hood of a Mustang with a girl he had shared a class with for nearly a year but only recently learned the name of. Claudia, right? Yeah. That sounded right. He would not think about Craig when it was Claudia's hands tangled in his hair and Claudia's tongue tangled with his in his mouth.

And then he felt the familiar sensation of a tongue running against the roof of his mouth, and before he knew what he was doing, he moaned Craig's name into her full, glossy lips.

Needless to say, she pulled away in a heartbeat, breathing hard and staring at him with a horrified expression that probably mirrored his own.

He took a few steps back and ran a hand nervously through his thick hair. "I…can explain?"

"Can you?" she asked, sitting up.

He thought for a moment, then shook his head. "I need to sit down," he muttered, walking around to the passenger's side door and stepping into the blue Mustang.

Kenny sat alone in the car for a few minutes, staring straight ahead, but not really seeing anything. He closed his eyes, trying to steady his breathing. What the fuck was the matter with him?

He vaguely heard the sound of the driver's side door opening and closing.

The two sat in awkward silence for a few minutes. She was the one who finally broke it. "I was gonna let you get to second base," she told him, placing a comforting hand on his forearm. "But considering the circumstances, I think we should just talk."

Kenny shrugged. "Kay."

"So…Craig? Craig from the hallway?"

Kenny nodded.

"He's your…?"

"Ex-boyfriend," Kenny whispered, and something about the term mixed with her aftertaste on his tongue left his mouth feeling dry.

"So you're gay."

"Kind of."

"Do your friends know?"

Kenny nodded.

"And his friends?"

"That's why we broke up."

She sat back in her seat. "I see."

Kenny sighed. "I…I'm sorry. I thought I could do this, but… Well, I'm a little messed up. Obviously."

"Hey, I've been there. I mean, I've been through a breakup. I can't really say I've been in your situation before."

"I don't think anyone has."

She smiled slightly. "You know, I've been called other girls' names while making out before, but this is the first time I've been called by a _guy's_ name."

"I'm sorry."

She shook her head. "Don't be. This is more embarrassing for you than it is for me."

Kenny combed his hands through his hair. This really wasn't his day. This wasn't really his week, actually. "I guess this is what I get for using you to try to make Craig jealous."

"And this is what _I_ get for trying to seduce you to prove to my friends I'm not a prude."

"I figured it was something like that," Kenny replied. "If it helps you out any, you can tell your friends whatever you want. I'll play along."

She was taken aback. "What?"

"Girls do this all the time," he explained. "You know, most of my alleged hook-ups are entirely fictional."

She stared at him. "Really?"

"Oh, yeah. Girls claim to have slept with me all the time, because they know everyone will believe it. I am the school whore, after all."

"So how many girls have you slept with?"

"What good will that information do you?"

"Just curious."

"Nine."

"Nine?"

Kenny nodded.

Claudia looked at him curiously. "How many guys?"

Kenny laughed. "Just one."

"So Craig was your first boyfriend?"

He sighed. "Yep." The two sat in the car in silence for a while, just listening to each other breathe. Finally, Kenny spoke again. "Claudia?"

"Yeah?"

"Could we not tell anyone about this?"

"My lips are sealed."

"Not for my sake," Kenny explained. "For Craig's. He's not really ready to come out yet. I mean, I'm pissed at him right now, but I don't want to be the jackass who outs him before he's ready."

"You love him."

It was a statement, not a question, and it hit him full force. He sat back in his seat, staring through the frosty windshield at the high school, where Craig was probably sitting in Spanish class, conjugating verbs and maybe, _hopefully_ wondering what Kenny was doing at that moment. He probably had that stoic expression on his face and that stupid blue hat on his head, and he was probably tugging at the tassels on the earflaps the way he always did when he was frustrated. He was probably running his tongue over his braces in that sexy way he did whenever he was angry but trying not to show it. Kenny sighed, tearing his gaze away from the high school and meeting Claudia's eyes.

"Yeah, I think I do."

* * *

Gah! I know! These boys just need to sort out their problems. They're just being stubborn. I'm as sick of them as you are.

I had the whole thing with Claudia planned out from the first chapter when I introduced her, although I regret using an OC. Why did I write an OC when there are a bunch of perfectly good canon characters I could have used instead? Too late to change that now, though, so I'll just have to live with it.

Token needs to be more careful what he says when he's in a crowded cafeteria. I swear, when I first used that joke with Token and Stan in chapter 3, I only intended to use it once. And then I did it again with Token and Craig. And I saw the opportunity in this chapter, so I did it again with Bebe. But I promise, no more. I've overused it, I think.

The next chapter is the one I've been dying to write since I started this story, so I'm pretty psyched. I can't tell you when I'll have it posted, though.

Bialy, I intend to reply to your message, but it's two in the morning, so I think I'll wait til I'm awake enough to think straight.

Please review!


	9. Nothing Left to Lose

Well, this one's a bit shorter than my last couple of chapters have been, but I think a lot more happens in it. I tried to let Tweek and Clyde shine since I've been favoring Kevin and Token lately. But this chapter definitely belongs to Craig. Yes, I believe Craig outshines even Cartman.

Thanks Sillybunfun and Bialy for reviewing chapter 8. You're awesome. Oh, and you should all go read Bialy's story "For Daws to Peck At". I'm seriously, you guys. Do it.

I don't own South Park. Read and review.

* * *

**When You Have Everything to Lose**

**Chapter 9: Nothing Left to Lose**

"You look like shit, dude."

"Well I'm sorry I didn't feel like getting all dolled up for you today, Token."

"Did you sleep last night?" Clyde asked.

"I think so."

It had been one of those nights. He'd lain in bed for hours, not feeling fully asleep, but not feeling conscious either. As a result, he looked, as Token so sensitively put it, like shit. He'd neglected to comb his hair after he showered, letting it dry messy and resulting in several odd-angled cowlicks, and deep purple bags hung from his sleepy gray eyes.

Tweek held out a half-empty Styrofoam cup to his friend. "Coffee?"

Craig accepted the beverage, gulping it down in seconds. He grimaced. "Tastes like ass."

Tweek snatched the empty cup back, twitching angrily. "'_Thank you, Tweek, for generously sharing the one thing that you need to survive the first few grueling hours of the morning._' Gah! You're welcome, Craig. You needed it more than I did, even though I'll probably be spending third period in the guidance counselor's office—_again_."

Craig rolled his eyes. "Thanks, Tweek."

Tweek stared wistfully into the empty cup. "I'm never gonna make it through the morning."

"Just steal some coffee from the teachers' lounge," Clyde suggested.

Tweek's eyes grew wide. "I can't go in _there_."

Craig looked up and spotted Kenny across the hall. He was with that girl again.

"Tweek, it's just a room," Kevin pointed out.

If Kenny had lost any sleep the previous night, it didn't show. He looked as he always did, complete with his signature cheeky grin.

"But I've never been in there before! Have any of you ever been in the teachers' lounge?"

Craig's ex-boyfriend's thick dirty blond hair fell sloppily over his forehead to his dark eyebrows, and his blue eyes shone beneath long golden lashes. But, Craig observed, they seemed to be missing their usual sparkle.

"I have," Token said. "Stoley's right, dude. It's just a room."

"Good," Tweek replied, holding the Styrofoam cup out to his black friend. "You go get coffee for me then."

"What? I'm not your slave."

"Craig, are you okay?"

"What?" Craig looked up at Kevin upon hearing his whispered name. "Um, yeah."

"Are you sure?" Kevin glanced across the hallway at Kenny. "You should go talk to him, man."

"He doesn't want to talk to me, Kevin."

"Then _make_ him talk to you."

"Can't you ever just mind your own business?"

"No."

"Why are you two always whispering with each other?" Clyde broke into their conversation. "If Craig didn't have his little underage girlfriend I'd swear you two are gay for each other."

Kevin rolled his eyes. "Give me some credit, Clyde. If I was gay, I'd at least go for a guy who's good looking."

Clyde waggled his eyebrows. "Like me?"

"No, dude. I'd pick _Tweek_ over you."

"Hey!" Tweek cried.

"Relax, Tweek. It's a compliment."

"It didn't sound like a compliment. Anyways, I'm not like that. Be gay for Token."

"What?"

"You guys are my _friends_. If I don't think I could be attracted to any of you."

"Who would you be gay for then?" Clyde asked.

"What about Kenny?" Token asked, nodding across the hall at the blond. "He's good looking."

Tweek nodded. "Yeah, dude. If you're gonna be gay, be gay for Kenny."

"Fuck, guys," Craig interrupted. "Why are we talking about this?"

"You don't think Kevin and Kenny would make a charming, faggy little couple?" Clyde asked.

Craig's sleepy eyed widened. "No. Why would you even suggest that?"

"We're only joking around, Craig," Token said. "You don't have to act like a complete homophobe."

Kevin laughed, but clapped his hand over his mouth when he saw the look on Craig's face.

Craig shook his head as he began to walk away. "You guys are all stupid."

"Where are you going?" Clyde called after him.

"I have to talk to someone," Craig replied, not looking back at his friends. His eyes were locked on Kenny.

Claudia spotted him before Kenny did. "Uh—hi," she greeted him awkwardly as he approached them.

Kenny looked up at him, surprise registering on his face for a moment before he broke into a grin, chuckling as he licked his fingers and reached up to flatten down Craig's unruly hair. "Did you get hit by a bus or something?"

Craig stiffened at the familiar feeling of Kenny's slender fingers in his black hair. "Um…Kenny?"

Kenny's eyed widened as he jerked his hand away. "Sorry," he muttered, his face flushing.

"I want to talk to you," Craig replied. He shot Claudia an almost murderous glare. "Alone."

"Right. Leaving," the girl muttered, slipping away.

Kenny crossed his arms. "You don't have to be such a dick, Craig. She's a nice girl."

Craig didn't care, and he was certainly in no mood for small talk. He cut right to the chase. "Did you fuck that skank?"

"What?"

"Did you have sex with that girl in her dad's Mustang or not?"

"I might have. Why do you care?"

"You know why I care."

Kenny rolled his eyes. "No. We didn't have sex, okay?"

"Why not?"

"What kind of question is that?"

Craig shifted uncomfortably. "Well did… Did you want to sleep with her?"

"I… No."

"Then why'd you go with her?"

Kenny narrowed his eyes at the taller boy. "Why'd you put all that stuff in Kyle's locker?"

Craig crossed his arms. "What the hell does that have to do with anything?"

"Everything!" Kenny cried. "God, Craig, Kyle's one of my best friends."

"Well it's not like I _wanted_ to take part in Cartman's stupid little prank. I had no choice, Kenny. That's how blackmail works."

Kenny's jaw dropped. "What?"

"I said that's how blackmail works. Cartman says 'Put this in Kyle's locker or I'll tell everyone you're a faggot,' and I say, 'You are my master, Cartman, and I live to serve you.'"

"_Cartman_?" Kenny repeated. "Cartman was behind all that stuff?"

"Duh, Kenny. What did you think?"

Kenny's eyebrows knitted together as he grabbed Craig by the hand. "We need to find Cartman, _now_."

* * *

"So? Who do you think it is?"

Stan scratched his neck. "I don't know… Who do you think?"

Kyle gazed around the hallway. "Maybe Butters?"

"No, dude. Kenny and Cartman already ruled out Butters. And Kevin. And Token."

"Okay, so…maybe it's…Tweek. I've never seen Tweek with a girl."

Stan shrugged. "Could be Tweek. Who knows?"

"Actually, the idea of Tweek with a girl kind of weirds me out," Kyle went on.

"And the idea of Tweek with a guy doesn't?"

"Good point."

"I think Tweek's just a weird guy," Stan concluded.

"Definitely."

"I mean, he's cool and all. A little unstable. He's like a wind-up toy that never stops, you know. But he's still cool. Cooler than that asshole Craig anyways."

"Craig's not that bad. You're just overprotective of Kenny."

"I'm not overprotective of Kenny. I'm just trying to be there for him because he's…going through a rough time…or whatever. He's our friend. I'd do the same for you."

"Hey, fellas!"

"Hey Butters," they greeted the small blond boredly.

"Did you hear about Craig?" Butters asked them excitedly.

"Craig?" Kyle repeated, his eyebrows shooting up. "What about him?"

"Well, there's this rumor going around about him."

"Yeah?"

"They're saying he's a pedophile."

Stan and Kyle exchanged confused glances.

"A pedophile?" Stan repeated.

"They say he likes to have sex with little girls."

Stan laughed. "That's, like, not even close to the truth, Butters."

"It's not?"

"No. Where did you hear that?"

"Bebe was telling everyone all about it yesterday."

Kyle rolled his eyes. "Of course she was. Who else but the school's biggest gossip? That girl's mouth is so big she could probably fit _both_ fists inside it."

"Why would she tell people that Craig's a pedophile?" Stan wondered.

Butters shrugged. "I don't know, but I'm surprised you two didn't hear about it. Everyone's talking about it."

"That's why," Kyle responded. "We don't listen to everyone. Because they make up dumb shit like this. I wonder what moron made up this piece of garbage."

"Speaking of pieces of garbage," Stan said, glancing around the hallway. "Where is Craig anyways? I haven't seen him all morning."

"He was talking to Tweek and those guys just a few minutes ago," Kyle responded, nodding in the direction of Craig's friends. "I don't know where he went."

"I saw him talk to Kenny a little bit ago," Butters piped in. "They walked off together holding hands."

Stan sent Kyle a worried glance. "Holding hands?"

"Like, openly?" Kyle asked.

"Cozily?" Stan added.

Butters looked thoughtful. "Well, they definitely weren't being secretive about it. But I wouldn't say they looked cozy…"

* * *

"Kenny, let go of me."

"No," Kenny replied, dragging Craig behind him.

"But I don't want to talk to—" Kenny turned the corner sharply, narrowly missing the wall as he did so. Craig had not been so lucky. "Ow. Fuck. It's too early for this."

"Stop whining, Craig."

"You just knocked me into a wall, dumbass."

"You're fine, you big baby."

"That's easy to say when you're not being slammed into walls by your abusive boy—"

"I'm sorry, you called me your what, now?"

"Never fucking mind."

"Yeah, we'll discuss what you just about said there after we talk to Cartman."

"I don't want to talk to Cartman. I hate him. Why should I have to talk to him more than absolutely necessary?"

"This _is_ necessary, Craig," Kenny replied, just as he spotted his fat friend down the hall. "Cartman! Hey, Cartman!"

Kenny nearly pulled Craig's shoulder out of its socket as he sped toward Cartman, jerking the taller boy along behind him.

"Bout time you two kissed and made up," Cartman commented, as the two boys approached him.

"What? No we didn't."

"You're, uh, holding hands."

"Dammit," Kenny muttered, dropping Craig's hand. He looked back up at his friend. "Cartman, what the hell is going on?"

"You tell me," Cartman replied. "I mean, you like him, then you hate him, then you love him…I really can't follow anymore."

"Not with me and Craig, you dumb fuck," Kenny replied. "I meant, why are you blackmailing him into putting that stuff in Kyle's locker?"

Cartman furrowed his brow at Craig. "I told you not to say anything."

"I _didn't_."

"Kyle told me, fatass."

"_What_? He wasn't supposed to tell you! That wasn't part of the plan! I was positive he'd only tell Stan."

"What plan, Cartman? Why have you been sending that stuff to Kyle, and where the hell did you get the CD?"

"What CD?" Craig asked.

"I dug it out of Craig's trash can," Cartman muttered.

"You _what_?"

"Why?" Kenny asked. "Are you trying to mess things up for me? You wanted me to get mad at Craig all over again just when I was about to…?"

Craig's eyes widened. "About to what?"

"You're supposed to be my friend, man," Kenny said, looking hurt. "You're supposed to screw with other people's lives. Not mine. Is this your way of making fun of me for being the one person who actually trusted you?"

"No!" Cartman cried. "I'm not trying to do anything to you. I just wanted to humiliate Kahl."

Kenny rubbed his temples. "And how is this supposed to humiliate Kyle? Because, honestly, I don't think anyone is more humiliated than I am right now."

Cartman sighed. "Craig was supposed to be…man bait."

"Man bait?" Craig repeated.

Then it all made sense. The idea was so ridiculous it almost made Kenny laugh. "You were using Craig to coax Kyle out of the closet?" Why he'd expected anything less than completely fucking stupid from Cartman was beyond him. How often had Cartman gone out of his way just to make Kyle miserable before?

"It would have worked," Cartman defended himself. "If Kahl hadn't told you about it. He was only supposed to tell Stan. Stan's a moron. He would have believed that Craig was Kahl's secret admirer. You, on the other hand…"

"I set him straight," Kenny finished for him. "God, Cartman, why would you think Kyle wouldn't tell me?"

"You just had to go and ruin it, Kenny. It was gonna work. Kahl was gonna admit that he was gay, and I was gonna get it all on camera and he would have had to do every damn thing I told him for the rest of his life. My very own Jew slave."

"So…you were using me…as your personal slave…" Craig said slowly, "…so that you…could make Kyle your slave?"

"Yes."

"That's retarded."

"No it's not."

"It doesn't make any sense."

"You clearly don't understand how much I hate Kahl Broflovski."

"It was never gonna work, Cartman," Craig informed him.

"It would have if Kenny hadn't found out."

"No," Craig replied. "It wouldn't have. Because Kyle is…"

"It would have worked."

"Dude, it doesn't matter whether or not it would have worked. It's over now." Kenny shook his head. "I can't believe you would even try to do that to begin with."

"Why not?" Cartman asked. "This is exactly the kind of thing I do. You should expect it from me."

"But _you're_ the one who told me that it's wrong to try to force someone out of the closet."

"Cartman said that?"

"Dude," Cartman said. "Just because something is wrong doesn't mean I'm not gonna do it. You should know that by now, Kenny."

"I don't even know why I'm surprised," Kenny replied, shaking his head. "Why do you work so hard just to humiliate Kyle? No matter whose life you have to screw up in order to get there. It's almost like you're fucking in love with him or something."

Cartman's face turned bright red. "I AM NOT!" he shouted, loud enough to capture the attention of a few students standing around them in the hallway.

Craig rolled his eyes at Kenny. "You need to get your gaydar checked, dude. I can't believe you can't tell that—"

Craig was cut off by the shrill ringing of the morning bell, and, not bothering to finish his sentence, he turned around and walked to class.

"Hey, wait!" Kenny called after him. "Can't tell what? Craig!"

* * *

"I hope you're planning to punish Token for what he said about me."

Wendy rolled her eyes. "And what exactly did Token say about you?"

"Tell her, Clyde," Bebe said, nudging the boy who was currently sharing a desk with her—despite the fact that it was made to seat one person—and nibbling at her neck.

"Tell her what?" Clyde murmured.

"That Token called me a gossipy airhead!" Bebe cried. Wendy snickered, and Bebe glared at her. "Wendy!"

Kyle turned around in his seat and glared at Bebe. "Do you mind? This is study hall. As in, that time when most of us are trying to study."

Bebe sneered at him. "Why don't you get a life, Broflovski?"

"Why don't you get a room?" Kyle replied, turning back around. "Anyways, it's true. You are a gossipy airhead."

"Hey!"

"Don't start with them again, Kyle," Stan whispered from the seat beside his best friend.

"I'm not trying to start anything," Kyle replied. "I'm just trying to study."

But it was too late. He'd already started it. "I am not a gossipy airhead," Bebe said, poking Kyle in the back with the eraser end of her pencil to make sure she had his attention.

"So you _didn't_ spread that bullshit about Craig sleeping with little girls?"

"I did," Bebe admitted. "But I didn't make it up."

Clyde nodded. "It's true. Craig admitted it himself."

Stan spun around. "_Craig_ said that?"

"Actually, what he said was that he had a fourteen-year-old girlfriend," Clyde explained. "I don't know that he has a fetish for younger girls in general."

"That's a load of crap!" Stan cried. "Craig's not into younger girls. He's into…"

"Stan," Kyle cut him off. "Not your secret to tell, remember?"

Clyde stared at Kyle with deep interest. "You guys know something I don't about Craig?"

"It's nothing," Kyle assured him.

"This is great," Clyde muttered. "First he gets all chummy with Kevin, who he was barely friends with to begin with, and now he's telling his secrets to you guys, who he hates."

"Well, maybe if your _girlfriend_ didn't have such a big mouth…"

"Wendy!"

"I'm kidding, Bebe."

"Craig doesn't tell me shit anymore," Clyde went on. "Well, he never told me shit before. But that's because he never had shit to tell me before. Now he's keeping secrets from me."

"Clyde," his girlfriend mumbled sympathetically, brushing a slender hand against his cheek.

"I mean, Token may not give a fuck, but I do. Craig and I are supposed to be best friends." Clyde looked up at Kyle and Stan. "You're not, like, his new best friends, are you?"

Stan laughed. "Believe me, Clyde. I hate that douchebag as much as he hates me."

"Watch it, Marsh. That's still my friend you're talking about. Even if he doesn't feel that way anymore…"

"Look," Kyle said. "I'd like to tell you everything I know. Mostly because you're so pathetic right now that I feel sorry for you."

"Thanks, Kyle."

"But it wouldn't be right for me to tell you, because it's none of my business. This isn't about me or you or Stan. This is between Craig and Kenny."

Clyde raised an eyebrow. "Kenny? What the fuck does Kenny have to do with all this?"

Stan grinned, nudging his best friend. "Who's the one with the big mouth now, Brof?"

* * *

"Psst. Craig."

Craig groaned. Students liked biology, because the teacher was always oblivious to what was going on in the classroom, but for once, Craig wished that senile old bastard would turn away from the board and tell Cartman to shut the fuck up. "What do you want, Cartman?"

"We need to discuss our next move with Kahl," Cartman whispered.

"There is no next move. Your plan was doomed to fail from the beginning."

"No it wasn't. I was just going about it the wrong way. If we do this right, we can still out him."

"You can't out someone who's not in the closet to begin with. Kyle's straight, retard."

"So here's what I think we should do next…" Cartman went on, ignoring Craig's declaration.

"There is no 'we', Cartman. I'm not helping you with your next dumbass scheme."

"Have you forgotten, Craig? I still know a secret that you don't want exposed."

Craig crossed his arms. Unfortunately, the fatass was right. "What do you want me to do?"

"Well, romancing from afar isn't getting the results we were looking for," Cartman replied. "So we'll have to be much more direct."

"What are you getting at?"

"You're going to have to seduce him."

Craig jumped out of his seat. "What?"

Some students broke away from their own private little conversations to look up at him curiously, Kenny included.

"Craig?" Kevin whispered, furrowing his brow.

"Forget it, Cartman," Craig said. "I am not going to _seduce_ your friend."

Now every eye in the room was on them, except for the failing eyes of the old man teaching the class.

"Cartman, what's he talking about?" Kenny hissed.

Cartman ignored his friend, standing up to stand as close to eye level as he could with the taller boy. "Yes you will."

"No I won't."

"Don't forget, Craig," Cartman said, stepping toward the boy and prodding him threateningly in the chest. "I have something on you."

"No you don't, Cartman."

"Craig?" Kenny whispered, his eyes darting nervously around the room.

The instructor finally turned around. Even he could not ignore the scene that Craig was making. "Boys, what is going on?"

"Forget it, Cartman," Craig said, ignoring the teacher's question. "I'm not gonna let a fat waste of space like you push me around anymore. Fuck. You."

Cartman glared up at Craig. "Yeah? Well how would you like it if I let everyone here know that…?"

"What?" Craig cut him off. "That I'm gay? Guess what, I don't care anymore."

His classmates gaped at him, and Kenny looked just as surprised as the rest of them.

Cartman was taken aback. "But… I…"

"…have nothing on me if I out myself," Craig finished for him. He spun around to speak to the rest of the class. "So guess what everybody? I'm a fag. And you know what else?"

The class watched in amazement as Craig walked purposefully toward Kenny's desk, leaned forward, grabbed the blond by the shoulders, and kissed him chastely but forcefully on the lips. They were met with a few groans and a few wolf-whistles from the class, but Kenny was far too shocked to react before Craig pulled away and strode to the door. Turning to face the class one last time, Craig raised both hands high in the air and flipped them all off before marching out the door and slamming it behind him.

"The fuck?" Cartman muttered.

No one else said a word. Cartman had pretty much verbalized what they were all thinking.

Slowly, Kenny turned to face the front of the room. Then he calmly raised his hand.

"Er…yes, Kenneth?"

"May I be excused?"

* * *

I apologize if every scene without Craig in it seemed like a gap filler. That's basically what they were. I wrote the entire chapter, realized I'd completely left Stan and Kyle out of it, and added those two little moments with them to balance things out. The end of this chapter was the moment I've been working towards for the past eight chapters. The moment I first pictured in my head and then built the rest of this story around.

Oh, and Cartman's prank on Kyle... Weak, I know. I knew when I first planned this story that Cartman had to blackmail Craig into doing something despicable, but coaxing Kyle out of the closet was the best I could come up with. But I figured Cartman asking Craig to seduce Kyle would be payoff enough, and could also be the request that pushed Craig to finally coming out.

Please review!


	10. Good News Travels Fast

This is the LAST chapter, and you may be able to tell from the ending that I have serious trouble ending a story. I just can't seem to convince myself that it's OVER, and I add more and more to it until I've overdone it and it's complete crap. Anyways, I believe this is the longest chapter of all.

Thank you all so much for reviewing chapter 9! I got more feedback for it than any other chapter. Needless to say, I was super stoked. Thanks to KatQ66, RandomGhostie, xXDoodlyDooXx, Bialy, TinyAnglerFish, Sillybunfun, AllzStar, fadefade, and smoof. I was seriously ecstatic, you guys.

I don't own South Park. Read and review.

* * *

**When You Have Everything to Lose**

**Chapter 10: Good News Travels Fast**

"Can't you just give me a hint?" Clyde asked. He had removed himself from Bebe's seat, and now, to Kyle's displeasure, seemed to be attempting to scoot his way into Kyle's.

"No, dude. It's none of your business. Or mine." Kyle shoved Clyde's thigh away from his. "And what the hell makes you think that this is okay?"

"Craig's my best friend. His business is my business."

"And my personal space is your personal space?"

A shit-eating grin spread across the brunette's face. "I'm sorry," he responded, placing a hand on Kyle's leg. "Does this make you uncomfortable?"

"_Yes_."

"How about now?" Clyde asked, moving his palm further and further up Kyle's thigh as the redhead squirmed uneasily.

"Knock it off, Clyde."

"Tell me what Craig's hiding."

"No!"

"Come on. It can't be that big a deal. Just tell me, and I promise I won't grope you." The brunette gave a yelp of surprise when Kyle finally responded by socking him hard on the shoulder. "Ow!" he cried, as he landed on the floor between Kyle's and Stan's desks.

Stan shook his head at the scene before going back to his homework, only to be distracted once again by the soft buzzing of his phone from his pocket. He slipped the device out, flipping it open to read the glowing screen. His heart stopped.

"Uh, Kyle?" he said, staring at the text message. "I just got a really weird message from Cartman."

Kyle rolled his eyes. "What's new?"

"It's about Kenny and Craig."

"What?" Clyde asked, snapping his head in Stan's direction. Jumping up from his awkward position on the floor, he snatched Stan's cell phone from his hands, earning a cry of protest from the black-haired boy. He ignored Stan, staring down at the stolen cell phone to read the message from Cartman.

_Betcha 20 bucks kennys fucking craig into the bathroom wall right now._

"_Huh_?" Stan's cell phone fell from Clyde's limp hands and snapped closed as it landed on the floor.

"Break my phone, douchebag," Stan muttered, bending over to pick it up.

"_That's _what Craig's been hiding?"

"What?" asked the ever curious Bebe from behind the three boys. But her own phone vibrated seconds later, and from the look on her face as she read the text message that popped up, she'd gotten her answer. "Oh my god, Wendy. You'll never guess what just happened in Red's bio class…"

The room was soon filled with the sound of cell phones vibrating and surprised gasps as students read their text messages. An excited buzz of conversation filled the room, and the three boys looked around curiously, feeling as if they suddenly knew _less_ than everyone else about what was going on.

"We definitely missed something," Kyle observed.

Stan turned around in his seat to better hear Bebe and Wendy's conversation.

"Craig and Kenny really _made out_ in the middle of science class?" Wendy was asking Bebe, staring over her friend's shoulder at her cell phone screen. "Are you sure Red's not exaggerating? She does have that tendency."

"She wouldn't make this up."

"Fuck," Wendy muttered. "Are _all_ of the guys in this school gay?" She glanced up at Stan, who glared at her. Wendy blushed, looking down at her desk. "I mean…not that I know any other gay guys."

* * *

"Mreg!"

Craig rubbed his arms as he trudged through the snow, kicking himself for not grabbing a jacket before he ran out. It was too late to go back and get it. He couldn't just go back to the classroom after storming out like that and say, "I forgot my jacket." It would completely cancel out how incredible telling off Cartman had felt. It was the greatest feeling he'd experienced since…well, since that morning with Kenny in Denver. Those last few hours with Kenny before everything went to shit.

"Mehr-reg!"

He stopped in his tracks as the muffled cry grew louder. He turned around to see Kenny jogging after him, the hood of his orange parka drawn tightly around his face. He finally caught up to Craig, holding his chest and panting.

"Mreg, wad meh helm?" Kenny asked, pulling down his hood. "I've been calling your name for like, five minutes."

"Sorry," Craig mumbled. "I was just thinking."

"Oh really?" Kenny said. "Thinking about what, exactly? About how you came out to our entire biology class, kissed me in front of everybody, and then just took off without another word, leaving me sitting there speechless with everyone staring at me trying to figure out what the hell just happened?"

Craig scratched his neck sheepishly. "Yeah. Sorry about—"

Kenny cut off his apology with a needy kiss, clutching the taller boy's face. Craig was surprised, but pleasantly so, as he welcomed the display of affection. The kiss lasted for several seconds before Kenny pulled away.

"I thought you were pissed," Craig murmered.

"For what?" Kenny asked, grinning. "Putting Cartman in his place? Kissing me in the middle of biology? In the eleven years I've known you, that was by far the coolest thing I've ever seen you do."

"Really?" Craig asked. "Cooler than the time I—"

"A hundred times cooler than that."

"Huh," Craig said, grinning proudly. "I must be, like, a really awesome kisser."

Kenny took Craig's hand. "But I'm sorry it had to happen that way. I know you weren't ready. To come out."

Craig nodded. "It felt damn good though."

Kenny stared up a Craig, reaching up and pushing away locks of raven hair and tucking them under his dark blue hat in order to see more of his face. Craig just stared back and allowed Kenny to study him intently.

"You didn't shave this morning," Kenny observed, running his thumb along dark stubble.

"Hmm mm," Craig responded, his hands making their way into Kenny's back pockets.

The blond leaned forward, brushing his lips against the taller boys exposed neck. Craig let out a soft moan, his eyes fluttering shut. Kenny left a soft trail of kisses along his boyfriend's neck, his lips working his way up to Craig's. When their lips finally met, the kiss was slow, tender, and chaste, and when Kenny broke the kiss, Craig shivered.

"You're cold," Kenny whispered.

That hadn't been the reason he shivered, but Craig thought about it and realized that he was, indeed, cold. He nodded.

"Here," Kenny murmered, pulling his hands away from Craig's face to reach for the zipper of his orange parka.

"I don't want your coat, Kenny."

"I don't care. I'm giving it to you," Kenny replied, slipping off the parka and wrapping it around Craig's shoulders.

Craig slipped his hands through the sleeves, his arms soaking up Kenny's body heat from the fabric.

"God, I look like a homeless person now," he teased. "People are gonna start throwing spare change at me."

"Watch it, Craig," Kenny replied. "Just because I love you doesn't mean I won't beat the shit out of you."

Craig grinned. "Wait, say that again?"

"I said, I'm gonna beat the shit out of you if you keep up the poor jokes."

"No, I meant the part where you said you loved me."

"I never said that."

"Yeah you did."

"I think you hear what you wanna hear, Craig."

Craig just smirked, lifting his blue chullo from his head and pulling it over Kenny's dirty blond hair.

Kenny smiled. "How do I look?" he asked, wiggling the earflaps.

Craig just laughed, pushing a lock of blond hair out of Kenny's blue eyes.

"What?" Kenny asked.

"You're so cute it's funny."

* * *

"You know what sucks?" Tweek asked.

"Dodgeball?" Kevin guessed, as he took a seat on the bench between Clyde and Tweek, rubbing his bruising arm.

Clyde rolled his eyes. "Tweek wouldn't know. He fakes a panic attack every time we play dodgeball in gym and manages to get out of it."

"That's not true," Tweek replied. "The first time it was a real panic attack."

"What were you gonna say then?" Kevin asked. "What sucks?"

"Being single. Gah! Being single sucks."

"It's not so bad," Kevin replied.

"No, dude. It sucks," Tweek argued. "I mean, Token's got Wendy. Clyde's got Bebe. And Craig is with—gah!—Kenny. Who the hell saw that coming? You know you're miserably lonely when you're jealous of your gay friend having a boyfriend."

Clyde raised an eyebrow. "You're mad because all of your friends have girlfriends—or, erm, boyfriends—and you're single?"

"I don't have a girlfriend," Kevin pointed out.

"But no one expects you to because girls don't like Asian guys."

"Hey!"

"You know who else girls don't like? Me."

"You'll find someone, man," Kevin replied, slapping his jittery friend on the back.

"No I won't. Girls think I'm…weird."

"Well, you kind of are," Kevin said.

"Have you considered weaning yourself off the coffee and switching to Adderall?"

"Don't even joke about that, Clyde!"

"Calm down, Tweekers. You know I was kidding."

"But seriously…what if it's like this forever? What if I'm…destined to be alone _forever_? Like Kevin."

"What the fuck? I'm sitting right here."

"Maybe you'd have better luck if you switched to dudes like Craig did," Clyde suggested.

"Pretty sure it's not a choice, bro."

"Agh! Kevin's right. I don't think I could like guys."

"And even if he could," Kevin put in, "I don't think there are any gay guys besides Craig and Kenny around here anyways."

"Hey, there could be. You never know. For all we know, _you_ could be gay."

"I'm not."

"That's exactly what a closeted gay guy would say."

"It's also exactly what a straight guy would say."

"Dammit, that's a good point."

The three sat in silence for a while and watched the violent game of dodgeball going on before them. After a few minutes of enjoying the carnage, Clyde spoke up again.

"Hey guys, if there _were_ another homo wandering these halls, who do you think it would be?"

"Kyle," Kevin responded without hesitation.

"Kyle," Tweek agreed.

Clyde nodded. "Yeah, I think you guys are right."

* * *

"It's Kyle, isn't it?"

"Hm?"

It was twenty-two degrees out and the two teenagers were lying on a patch of hardened snow, but neither of them seemed to notice the cold. They were nestled together cozily in Kenny's orange parka, and they were pressed so close together that if someone were to stumble upon the two, they would not have been able to tell which legs extended from which body.

"You told me there was one other gay guy in our class. Was Cartman right? Is it Kyle?"

"No, man. It's not Kyle."

"Are you sure?"

"HIV positive."

"Hey, no AIDS jokes. No one wants to hear stuff like that from the guy they're sleeping with."

"You saying I'm getting some tonight?"

"Aren't I supposed to be the one making all the perverted comments?"

"Mm," Craig replied, letting out a deep sigh.

"But seriously, are you sure about Kyle? Because he totally admitted to checking out other guys in the locker room."

"Kyle's just brave enough to admit to something most people wouldn't. Everyone checks out other guys in the locker room."

"Nuh-uh."

"Yeah they do, Kenny. Any guy who says he hasn't at least peeked at another dude's junk while he was packed into a steamy room full of naked sweaty guys is lying."

"I haven't," Kenny insisted.

Craig just snorted.

"I _haven't_. Have you?"

"I'm gay, dude. How could I not?"

"You could try closing your eyes and reminding yourself that you're taken," Kenny huffed.

Craig smirked. "I like it when you get jealous."

"You're an asshole."

"True. But you like assholes."

Kenny groaned. "You're in some weird kind of mood today, Craig. Making all these gross remarks."

Craig squeezed Kenny tightly. "I'm just happy."

They lay in silence for a moment before Kenny spoke again. "So if it's not Kyle then who is it?"

"Stan."

"No fucking way."

"Yeah, man. Why do you think he broke up with Wendy?"

"Stan is…gay? Stan _Marsh_?"

"What other Stan do we know?"

"But Stan's not gay. I mean, he doesn't _act_ gay."

"Well he wouldn't, would he? I mean, he doesn't want the whole world to figure it out. That's what being in the closet means. You wouldn't admit to looking at other guys if you actually had something to hide."

"I know but…Stan? Really? Does Wendy know this?

"I'm pretty sure. And it's a good thing I got my hands on you a couple weeks before he came out to his girlfriend, because he's got a thing for you. Like a major one. If I'd acted any later, it could be Stan rolling around in the snow with you right now."

"Wait a minute. You're saying that one of my closest friends is a homo and he has a gay crush on me?"

"Can't say I blame him."

"Huh. You think he'd be up for a threesome?"

"Kenny!"

"What? He's so inexperienced. Someone's got to deflower the poor boy."

"I'm not _sharing_ you with some other guy."

"I'm _kidding_. Mostly. Come on, I can't let you make all the perverted jokes."

"That wasn't funny," Craig mumbled, as Kenny kissed his neck softly, smirking against his pale skin.

"You feel threatened by him."

"I do not."

"Admit it, Craig. You're afraid I'm gonna run off with Stan because he's got that sexy deep voice and those toned abs…"

"I knew you checked out other dudes in the locker room."

"…but you can put those fears to rest, because I don't like Stan that way."

"Dammit, Kenny, I don't feel threatened by Stan. I do, however, think he's a bit of a douchebag."

"You're cute," Kenny replied. Craig pulled Kenny's parka tighter around the pair and breathed in the smell of the poor boy's cheap aftershave. "Craig?" Kenny said, after a moment of silence.

"Mm?"

"I love you."

"I love you too," Craig replied, as the smaller boy nibbled at the pale flesh on his neck. "And I want everyone to know it."

"Good."

"But I still don't want you giving me any damn hickeys."

"And that's still not gonna stop me."

* * *

"I've heard about six versions of what happened in your bio class today," Stan told Cartman, taking a seat at his usual table for lunch. "I'd ask you what really happened, but I have the feeling your version would be even more far-fetched than Jimmy's. Who swears, by the way, that you and Craig had a full-on fist fight before Craig kiss-raped Kenny and ran out of the room."

"No one hit anyone," Cartman replied grumpily.

"But there was some kind of confrontation," Kyle said. "That's the one thing everyone agrees on. So what were you and Craig fighting about?"

"Craig was just being a pussy," Cartman replied. "It was all Kahl's fault, really."

"Oh, god," Kyle muttered. "Go on, Cartman. I can't wait to hear this."

"Well if you would just come out of the closet already, I wouldn't have to suggest such drastic measures. How the hell was I supposed to know that Craig would snap like that?"

"Cartman, what are you talking about?"

"And you weren't supposed to tell Kenny about Craig leaving that stuff in your locker."

"I had to tell Ken—hold up. I never told _you_. How did you know about—" A light turned on behind Kyle's green eyes as the truth dawned on him. "Oh, _hell_ no. Really, Cartman?"

Stan squinted at his best friend. "I feel like I'm missing something here."

"Isn't it obvious? Cartman convinced Craig to put that crap in my locker."

"Cartman? You're Kyle's secret admirer?"

"No!" Cartman cried. "I'm not in _love_ with Kahl. It was a _prank_."

"It was a stupid prank," Kyle muttered.

"It wasn't stupid. You were never gonna come out without a little motivation."

"I'm not gay, fatass."

"Craig said you were."

"Craig said that _someone_ in our class is gay. He didn't say it was me."

"Well who else could it be?"

"It's not me, dude," Kyle replied. "It's obviously Clyde. He tried to feel me up in study hall today."

"He _what_?"

"The dude totally tried to grope me."

"It's not Clyde," Stan assured them.

"How do you know?" Kyle asked.

"I…Well, it's just…I mean, he…"

"Clyde's obviously really into his girlfriend," a fourth teenager filled in, sitting down at their table beside Stan and across from Cartman.

The three boys stared at the newcomer. "Hey, Kenny," Kyle finally greeted him.

"Hey guys. What's going on?"

"We were kind of wondering the same thing," Stan told him.

"Yeah, Kenny. What happened with you and Craig?" Kyle asked.

"Wouldn't you like to know," Kenny replied, leaning forward and stealing a chicken nugget from Cartman's tray.

"Ey! Don't touch my food!"

"Why are you wearing Craig's hat?" Stan asked, sliding his tray closer to his poor friend.

Kenny touched the end of the left ear-flap. "Cause it looks sexy on me."

"Are you two good then?" Kyle questioned.

Kenny smiled. "Yeah, we're good."

"Then why are you sitting here and not with him?"

"Because he wanted to talk to his friends by himself." He nodded toward the doorway, where Craig was standing in Kenny's parka, staring at his friends' table nervously. "He's still working up the courage."

"Damn," Cartman muttered. "I thought he was done being a pussy about this."

"He's not being a pussy," Stan replied. "He's coming out to his friends for the first time. It's a big deal. I mean, I would assume."

Kenny rolled his eyes.

"Speaking of which," Kyle said. "Did Craig tell you who the other guy is?"

Kenny's eyes darted in Stan's direction for a split second before he replied, "No, he didn't say. I don't think he's ever gonna tell me."

Stan let out a heavy sigh.

"What? Can't you, like, withhold sex or something until he tells you?"

"I honestly don't care enough, Cartman."

"Why doesn't he want to tell you?" Kyle asked.

Kenny shrugged. "I guess he feels threatened or something. Which is dumb, because…" He met Stan's eyes. "…he has _nothing_ to worry about."

Stan faked a smile. "Of course not."

"Not that this other guy isn't totally cool and good-looking. I mean, I assume, because I don't know who it is."

"It's Kahl. I've been trying to tell you guys this our entire lives."

"You are so fucking stupid, fatass."

* * *

Craig wiped his sweaty palms on his jeans—a pointless deed, as his pants were already soaked from the snow. He took a deep breath and swallowed hard as he made his way across the cafeteria to his friends' table.

"Can I sit?" he asked, meeting his friends' gazes one by one.

Kevin was beaming up at him, Tweek looked nervous, Clyde seemed lightly hurt, and Token was staring up at him with his usual disinterest. It was Token who answered him.

"Duh, dude. You've been sitting here since ninth grade. You don't have to ask."

Craig sat, not sure whether or not to be surprised by his friend's reaction. I mean, sure, Token usually made a point of not giving a damn what Craig did, but he couldn't _not_ react something like discovering Craig was gay_._

"So, uh, you don't care?" Craig asked, directing his question at Token.

"Don't care about what?" Token replied, turning to his meal.

"That I'm gay."

Token dropped his fork. "You're _gay_?"

Clyde's eyebrows shot up. "You didn't hear?"

"No! I didn't hear!"

"But everyone's been talking about it."

"Everyone?" Craig and Token asked in unison.

"_Everyone_."

"How come you guys didn't tell me?" Token questioned, looking at Clyde accusingly.

Clyde shrugged. "You're the one who said you didn't give a fuck about Craig's life."

"I didn't say that!"

"Not word for word."

"Well you could have told me he's gay! Especially if it's common fucking knowledge all of the sudden. I think I deserve to know."

"So…" Craig said. "You _do_ care that I'm gay."

"Hell, yes, I care that you're gay!"

Craig winced. "I can sit somewhere else. Stan sort of hates me, but I could move over to…"

"I don't want you to _leave_, Craig. That's not what I meant. I care, but I don't _care_."

"So…you're okay with it."

"I told you, dude." Kevin muttered.

Clyde shook his head. "You should have told us. I mean, how could you tell Kevin and not me?"

Craig shrugged. "I didn't want you guys to rip on me for it."

"We wouldn't," Tweek assured him.

"Yeah," Clyde agreed. "We rip on you for being skinny and having fucked up teeth, but we wouldn't make fun of you for being gay. That's just not cool."

"You're not gonna tease me for dating Kenny then?"

"You're dating _Kenny_?"

"Seriously, Token? Where have you been all fucking day?"

"We're cool with it," Tweek told Craig. "Like Token said this morning, Kenny's a—agh!—a good-looking guy."

"He is," Clyde agreed. "Hell, _I'd_ make out with him."

Craig raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"I mean, if it was on a dare. Or to experiment or whatever. I think I would."

"Jesus, Clyde, are you saying you're _attracted_ to my boyfriend?"

"I think everyone's at least a little bit attracted to Kenny," Kevin remarked, and the rest of Craig's friends nodded in agreement.

"What the fuck?"

"Don't act so surprised, Craig. You had to have known."

"No. I _didn't_."

Kevin shrugged and turned his attention to his lunch, quickly devouring his mashed potatoes. The rest of his friends did the same, and Craig wondered how such a conversation could end so abruptly. His thoughts were interrupted, however, upon seeing an all-too familiar girl approaching their table.

"What do you want?" he asked, not wasting politeness on the dark-haired girl who was standing directly behind Tweek and staring straight at Craig.

Claudia offered him a friendly smile. "I just wanted to say that I heard about what happened this morning, and I'm glad everything worked out." She glanced around the table. "I mean, assuming that everything did work out. Where's Kenny?"

"Yeah, dude. How come your new boyfriend's not sitting with us?"

"It's not really 'new', Toke. We were together for, like, two months."

"_What_?"

"He's right," Clyde told Craig. "You should get Kenny to come sit with us. He's your boyfriend after all."

"Bebe and Wendy never sit with us," Craig pointed out.

"Because they talk about fucking girl stuff. Just go get him."

Craig rolled his eyes. "Whatever," he mumbled, standing up. He shot Claudia a quick, "Er…Thanks," before turning and sauntering toward Kenny's table.

Claudia waved goodbye before looking down at the top of Tweek's head and furrowing her eyebrows. "Hey, aren't you that kid who had a panic attack in P.E. today?"

"A fake panic attack," Clyde replied. "He doesn't like to play dodgeball."

"It's Tweek, right?"

Tweek looked up at her and nodded. She smiled down at him.

"Say, Tweek, have you ever seen the inside of a '69 Mustang?"

"Um—gah!—I don't think so."

She grinned and seized the jittery blond by the wrist, tugging him out of his seat and dragging him toward the door. His three friends watched in bewilderment.

"See, Kev? I told you it's 'cause you're Chinese."

Kevin shook his head. "Fuck my life."

* * *

Kenny jumped, startled at the sensation of a hand on his waist. He spun around. "Oh, hey Craig. How'd it go?"

Craig smiled down at him. "They were cool with it."

"See? I told you."

"Yeah, yeah. You were right and I was an idiot."

"As usual." Kenny patted the seat beside him. "Come. Sit."

"Yeah, Craig. Sit with us." Craig knew Stan didn't mean it, but he appreciated the effort.

"Actually," he replied, jerking his thumb towards his own lunch table. "My friends want Kenny to sit with them. Apparently they're all super gay for him or something."

Kenny shrugged. "Everyone's a little attracted to me. It's a gift and a curse."

Kyle nudged Stan, sending him a look that clearly said, "I told you so." Stan just glared at his best friend, his cheeks heating up.

"So I keep hearing," Craig said. "But that's not possible, is it? I mean, not _everyone_ can like you."

"Sure they can."

"Even the fatass here?"

"Fuck you!"

Craig shook his head. "Dude, just because I'm gay doesn't mean I have no standards."

"You're an asshole, Craig."

Craig just laughed, nudging Kenny's shoulder. "Come on. My faggot friends are waiting."

Kenny stood up, accepting Craig's hand as the two began making their way to Craig's table. "Are you guys coming?" he called to his friends over his shoulder.

Stan was the first to stand up, followed shortly afterwards by Kyle. Cartman followed suit, panting a little as he rushed to catch up with them.

"Wait up, you guys. There better be enough room at that table. I'm not gonna get stuck eating lunch with Butters again."

Craig put an arm around Kenny as they walked, pulling the shorter boy close to his side and planting a firm kiss in his thick blond hair. Kenny rested his head on Craig's shoulder.

"You know everyone in this cafeteria is whispering about us, right?"

"Let them."

x

x

The End

x

x

* * *

Yep, that's it. A few things I'd like to say, now that it's over:

First of all, the thing about Stan. I hope this didn't seem way too out of the blue. I decided from the beginning that Stan was going to be gay for Kenny, and I kept that in mind when I wrote him. I also kept in mind that Craig knew it. I tried to hint at it without being too obvious, but I'm afraid I might not have been obvious enough. When everyone started saying that they hoped it was Cartman, I kind of wished it was. But I already had Craig say (in chapter 7, I believe) that Cartman wasn't gay. So, why Stan? Simple answer: I thought it would be funny. Yep, I wasn't really trying to do anything spectacular with the whole "mysterious third gay guy" bit. It was just for my own pleasure. Hopefully the result was not too terribly lame.

Secondly, Tweek and Claudia. Now, I KNOW that part was out of the blue. It was one of those random bits I decided to add at the last minute. Yes, I feel completely lame for doing this, but I'm leaving it in because I have NEVER seen Tweek paired with a girl. Actually, I think I've only seen him paired with Craig, and I wasn't about to do that because Craig obviously belongs to Kenny.

Thirdly, the insane amount of Crenny fluff. Sorry, but I had to do it. This story was 9 chapters of plot followed by 1 chapter of Crenny fluff. But I needed to get it all out of my system. I felt like I hadn't gotten a chance to do that since chapter 2, which was a looooong time ago.

And lastly, the lack of Cartman. (Sorry Bialy!) I couldn't really find anything to do with Cartman in this chapter, because the major conflict of the story was over. No conflict = no Cartman.

Thanks for staying with me for 10 chapters! I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I did writing it! And, one last time, please review!

Janine


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